kiyo 清's Things

sometimes I feel like I can’t even trust myself. the world feels distorted, like i’m stuck in a dream I can’t wake up from. even my own body doesn’t feel real. it’s like I’m disconnected from everything, including myself. and no matter how hard I try, I can’t shake the feeling that something is deeply wrong.

but on the outside, I seem fine. i go through the motions, smile when I’m supposed to, do everything I’m supposed to do. no one could ever tell. if anything, I seem normal. maybe even happy. and that makes it worse. if i’m so “normal,” then is this fear even real? is there something wrong with me, or am I just making it all up?

it feels like I’m just an actor playing a role, like I’m not really myself. the disconnect is unbearable. nothing feels real, i don’t feel real. if I’m only pretending to exist, does anything even matter at this point?

I know so many people who treat mental illnesses like Pokemon. Why are you trying to speed-run diagnoses?

They're never lowkey about it either like fuckkkk why do you need to mention to me that you have depression and bpd every day? Take your medicine. Why do you have to tell me you're gonna stop taking it every day even though you're gonna end up taking it anyways? Why do you keep complaining about how you're so skinny and how I should force you to have meals?

I am not your therapist nor your caretaker.

I just can't stand these people. I also have depression due to trauma, ptsd, anxiety etc. but none of my "friends" know about it because not only do they apparently have every mental illness under the sun, but they also are so attention-seeking and narcissistic they can only ever talk about themselves.

Fuckk people piss me off.

I'm gonna be on a plane soon and I wanna download manga offline (for free). I used to be able to use the app 'tachimanga' and I could download mangago stories through that app. I tried redownloading the app, but I don't really get what's going on with it. The 'extensions' thing don't really make sense to me even through the FAQs. When I used it before I could access and download everything through there not get it from somewhere else and somehow access it on the app idk.

Anyone know what app or site I can use to effectively download free manga?

i don't really like media manhwa/manga/shows etc. with a female lead. i just don't like the way that females are portrayed in media. especially if it happens to be romance and the relationship with the ml.
idk i love real life women (this sound incel af lmao) and have good relationships irl this just pertains to online media. maybe i just had a bad impression, but idk. this can't just be me? i just can't find it in me to read or watch anything if a female is the mc. maybe give me something good idk if i'll read it though RIP

I really love blue lock, tokyo revengers, and wind breaker (the manga). I'm looking for similar recommendations! I want the art to be similar too, so "modern" as opposed to an old school style. please help bro i need something to read