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Let’s be honest here. If you’ve gotten to chapter 46, we all know that both of these main characters have troubled pasts—the ML more so than the FL, of course.
The ML does not know how to communicate his thoughts and emotions, mainly because of his fucked up background and the subsequent years following his r*pe as a child by a man (and likely when he was older by both men and women). All he knew were beatings, extortion, and sex. He was never allowed the chance to be a child and grow up like other people, so thus he’s not able to verbally communicate what he wants without the fear of being hated and abandoned. So, he remains silent.
Of course, this leads to miscommunication and a hell of a lot of angst (adding to my already painful migraine). (￣∇￣")
The FL has her own host of issues. In the story, she has admitted to being hedonistic and shallow. Just like the ML, she’s afraid of the consequences of her choices—of losing someone she’s close to in case she loses herself again in the process.
The very start of their relationship began with sex (that would feel good to the ML). Don’t complain that’s all this relationship is when it started out that way. It seems like the only way the ML feels he can communicate is through sex because he knows the FL enjoys it with him as he does with her. It’s not the best way to communicate, but his expressions become the window to his feelings whenever they’re wrapped up in each other’s arms.
My hope is that the ML will be honest with the FL about his past, his thoughts, and especially his desires. I feel like that will be coming much later, but the FL has to do her part to help draw that out of him. She needs to reassure him that she cherishes him (it’s obvious to us) because he has no idea what she’s thinking.
Honestly, just please end the angst soon! I find this story so fascinating and interesting on a psychological level, mainly because I know people like these ones do exist in the real world. I’m really looking forward to the rest of this story.
(I wrote this comment in hopes that like-minded people would band together to protect the baby bean of the troubled ML and his beloved who needs to hurry up and spill the beans about her desire to keep him close. (▰˘◡˘▰))