Hello! I studied this term in college, because I asked myself some of that questions too (even if I'm female). To sum it up, gay romace between two men is interesting for many women because of the gender itself. First, as a man, women would not have to fear pregnancy - it means having fun with sex without that kind of risk (diseases excluded here).......
I stopped reading Yaoi At march of 2020. Why? I realized that most yaoi focuses on smut and fast relationship development. I still read shounen ai though because it doesn't take them 10 chapters to have a kiss scene It takes like forever and that makes me so happy because a developement of a relationship doesn't just take a few weeks to develop.
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