Story of a cop (Kain) and his younger lover (Mel) set in a very genteel version of NYC. There is a lot to love and appreciate about this manga, which was published in the 90s. It takes on a variety of real life issues that face same-sex couples- dealing with harassment at the workplace, unaccepting parents and friends, unequal rights re: marriage, access to healthcare, stereotypes about promiscuity and inability to love, HIV/ AIDS, living in the closet, etc. in a sympathetic way. I think because of these lofty ideals, I’m more bothered by some things that I’d probably overlook in other manga. The pure-hearted, entirely selfless damsel-in-distress portrayal of Mel (who unsurprisingly is the “bottom”) got a little tiresome at times. I also didn’t really appreciate the trans character- it felt like comedic relief and was verging on poor taste in the context of the rest of the story. This story is at its best when the characters are working through normal, everyday life. It didn’t need over the top elements like a kidnapping to maintain reader interest.
“You felt! You love! That’s outright nonsense! It’s just that you’ve been yearning for emotion. It’s simply a case of illness. Just as boys who arrive at adolescence fall in love with love, you were moved by being moved, that’s all.”
Taku’s character reminded me of this quote, I think it captures him perfectly.
First half to 3/4 of this story was really riveting 5-star material in the way of tragedy and/ or horror. Somber bus driver and salaryman passenger meet years later after childhood friendship ended in unspeakable act of violence. Roles are reversed as the no longer small, prepubescent victim exacts revenge upon his attacker. I love the suspense and ominous sense of dread on those dark, winding bus routes with only driver and passenger on board. Rape is portrayed as violent, brutal and humiliating throughout the story, until...it isn’t . I really appreciated the dialogue between them concerning vocations, expectations and class differences- made the power dynamics between the two more interesting. Unfortunately, the conclusion just doesn’t work - their relationship could only ever be tragic and fraught after everything that happened between them. It’s like a publisher convinced author to take what would be presumed to be the popular route here.
Exactly how i felt about it. The rapist to lover trope just feels particularly worse here as the author clearly went to great pains to realistically portray their messed up relationship on the bus route as sth that's violent, traumatic and humiliating. Suddenly within a few panels it changed to all sunshine and unicorns. It went from sth like 7.5 or 8 to 4/10 for me. Or I'll just pretend the last 2 chapters didn't happen.
Yes, exactly- the sunshine and unicorns ending was just wrong, and I can’t imagine that author wanted to do it this way based on the relative strength of the rest of the story. I pictured something like the bus crashing into an icy lake or side of a cliff with a somewhat prolonged harrowing life and death struggle for survival. Reaching in pain/ swallowing water, one might end up dying and the other surviving but forever altered.
Not something I would normally seek out, but it was worth reading and I admired the purity of vision here. Every single person in this story is a miserable, emotional wreck- no one is unscathed! The build-up to Zhishui’s walk out is pretty spectacular, so many injustices heaped onto him before he finally breaks away...Forever. The finality of it is just so immaculate that it becomes the cruelest and most fitting revenge, because it’s Jiang who ends up suffering the most in the story and beyond.
Something else about this story sent a shiver down my spine. Their loving union blossomed and endured, until it didn’t, and I wouldn’t want that fate for any of my favorite yaoi couples once they’re out of the view frame.
Author knows a lot about boxing which makes this manga that much more engaging. Art is phenomenal, as well. I really hope it gets more attention and appreciation, and that it’s still being translated into English. Please and thank you to whomever has or is working on this project!
I half-expect him to be trying to smoke in the shower. My chest hurts just from looking at him! He really needs it that much to steel his nerves.
So there must be something in between for there to be fulfillment and happiness. And I really hope that will be the outcome for these two! Doumeki can’t live without Yashiro, but Yashiro is consumed by Doumeki, even if he can’t admit it to himself. Ever since that fateful day in Doumeki’s apartment, I don’t think Yashiro has been able to go back to the brutal, humiliating sex he was accustomed to. I bet he’s tried to, or at least he’s putting on a front for those around him that he’s still picking up guys. But he’s not, he’s just doing it with that revolting cop, imani, in exchange for info. He’s clearly not into it. Yashiro is indelibly changed, and maybe he even resents Doumeki for that. Like everything’s easier and safer without feelings or love. Having sex with “the One” was the beginning, and opened a pathway for a flood of emotions that he didn’t want to acknowledge, which is why he suddenly thought about his stepfather. Yashiro is afraid of Doumeki because he doesn’t want to relinquish any control, to anyone.
Your words are so spot on they hurt. Thank you for sharing.
There’s just so much depth to explore in this manga, overall! Seriously so in awe of this work (and very thankful for the excellent translation). I’d say it’s the best I’ve seen at portraying how one copes with sexual abuse in one’s past. Yashiro is just trying to survive by making himself believe he wants to be hurt and degraded, that he was responsible for the ongoing assaults from his stepfather. He’s the one who’s driving the action in all his masochistic sexual exploits from that point on, to perpetuate that sense of control so that he can just survive, but not live.
I love the clear understanding you have for the characters. Great contributions in this comment section.
wait so does Yashiro really forget Doumeki or is he just pretending to try and get back to normal?
No, he hasn’t forgotten him! It was Yashiro’s attempt at breaking their attachment, and getting Doumeki to move on with his life.
okok I thought so! Man that makes me so sad especially that its been 4 years. I just want them to live happy together for ever man
Sebin is the real masochist here! Has been all along...
It’s only 9 chapters in, I’m fine with Hacchi making Amami squirm a little longer. Amami is not a very sympathetic character for me with his fag this and fag that. I think of it as fiction being a form of release of frustration and anger, with the balance of power switched up.
Everything about this chapter is so satisfying! I love the heightened drama of Haesoo leaning over in the cab like he's about to faint from fear and urgency to see his man, full-on running through traffic with his fancy dress shoes, losing that superfluous scarf and shoving his way through the gawking crowd. That meeting! Legs trembling, eyes welling up and spilling over, the contrast shown between the JxH flashback, bravely taking his hand this time, and finally acknowledging the depth of his love to himself, Joowon and the reader. Haesoo's long apology by way of internal monologue was really well done, we can finally see him admitting and taking responsibility for hurting Joowon all this time. It's also a nice balance with Joowon's long, romantic love confession in the card earlier on. Joowon is breathtaking in that bed, simultaneously hot and angelic, and the way he's so concerned with soothing Haesoo, those gentle but determined caresses- perfection. Really all beautifully drawn to set off all of the emotions of this climactic stage of the story.
I've seen more than enough of my favorite character being miserable - hoping for at least 15 more chapters, or equivalent side story, showing Joowon living happily with his true love, Haesoo.
I FEEL THIS COMMENT ON A PERSONAL LEVEL
Love or hate has been joowon physical/emotional torture ground for TOO LONG. Seriously i will actually be upset with the author if we dont FINALLY get good screen time for him and most importantly, him! being! HAPPY!
Yes. I was going to re-read from the start once it’s complete, but not unless or until there’s a big segment devoted to Joowon being happy. He never deserved all the vitriol. I like how we can finally see an explanation for Joowon’s arrogance and lingering resentment from 10 years earlier, he thought he was abandoned and emotionally rejected again.