beta
I understand the gravity of immortality, I've read so much of this theme and I completely understand the fear of living beyond the passage of time.
But I have so so many things I'd love to do. Maybe I'm just so used to my own company and I find that I move on pretty quick with people—I'm grateful for the company they provided but if they have to go, I find myself accepting it so quickly it's weird.
I'd love to go to college over and over again, taking different programs. Mastering every skill in the arts. I want to try different career paths. Study something tediously to discover something new. Try living on different parts of the world. Making it a mission to be in close contact with as many animals, observing them and making art. I can finally binge watch every single mainstream media without feeling like I'm wasting my time because I should've been "productive." I wouldn't feel on edge anymore because I'm not running out of time.
It's like, with endless amounts of hobbies and knowledge, coupled with the advancement of technology, I won't get bored; because I'm relishing not in finite relationships, but in myself and interests, who will live on forever.
I don't know, maybe I still need more time to realize that immortality isn't good, but it's just that my fear of regrets and not doing enough of everything I've wanted outweighs it. I want to be everything, and it's impossible with the human lifespan.
Am I the only one who thinks this way? ;-;