Maybe a Seke...? Lol! Even though I'm a female, I really want to be a male...
So first of all, you are absolutely not weird at all, this is a perfectly normal way to react when you went through something like that. Most people also develop trust issues and have a hard time with dating after experiencing a rape/sexual assault. Now, do not push yourself too much if you feel too scared. Running away may not be the best decisio......
I bet many would think it'd be better as a hobby too. I had drawn doujinshi once for Gakuen Alice back in 2012 titled 'Natsume Hyuuga's birthday' or something alike, can't remember. I never did another until I started to read/write/animate for Naruto fandom. A doujinshi would be nice~ especially family fluff! These are from animation fic titled 'Ku......
Photo from Beautiful Men