Kickassalien want to read (All 158)
Mom, I want you to become my alien dad
Aight kid dad's here....
It’s about time I needed a father figure
Don't worry I gotcha.... Ima just go google how fathers act real quick since I never had a father figure either.....
The words dad’s here makes me feel so warm idek why-
I'm glad, wanna go play catch with me? We could even go eat pizza after if you want to....
Pineapple pizza?
Hell ya....
Yuh! Let’s go old fart…
... You know back in my day's children respected their fathers....
Whatever…
You mean yes sir....
…Ok boomer
Dang dad not only did you burn the cookies, you ate them too?!
Yeaaaaaaa they didn't taste burned tho.....
I wouldn’t know…you are all of them after all >:(
ate*
.... I'll make you cookies tomorrow to make it up to you..... I promise I won't burn them this time......
Hmmm…why so many periods….I would say sus but boomers don’t get gen z language
It was popular back in the good ol days......
Dad tell me a bedtime story!
Go to your mom for that I'm not creative enough.......
Ahh your so lazy old man!
Aight fine here.... Once open a time there was a little goat..... This goat wanted to explore the world..... And so the goat got on a wagon to explore the world...... After some time, the goat got homesick and went back home......................... The end.....
Tysmm
U da best papa
Np....
I know I know, now go to sleep.....
I would but I’m sad because Beesus said I can’t go to heaven :(
Fuck Beesus they seem sus anyway....
Ok dad gn!
*takes out phone and watched porno after you leave*
... You know what at least you did it after I left.......
Dad why’d you come back, can’t you see I’m ‘sleeping’
Ah I'm sorry *closes door*
Dad…mother bruh is actually beesus in disguise :o
Damn no wonder they are so sus....
Oh you are finally back together, I was wondering how long this grudge was gonna be held for
Yep, I don't think I'll ever block her again either....
Hi, Mother.... I heard our family is going through a "split"?
And who said that?
I've noticed you and Bruh have blocked each other and refuse to unblock or talk to each other...you've even cursed her out in your comments...am I wrong?
... There is no split and we unblocked each other...... And I may have cursed her in the comments but that's old news.....
How come yall don't follow each other?
You're very observant......
If y'all aren't on good terms, does that mean I have a chance? ( ° ʖ °)
See now im following her.... So we are on good terms.....
Damn...what makes her a better option than me?
It's that you're my child.... She's mean but I still like her.....
Then disown me or sum
Even if I do that I'd still think of you as my child.....
sigh....
Omg mommy d-did you block mama
... Idk who you're talking about...... Anyways, how was your day my child?
The was ok ig…but I’m prettyyyyy sureeee you know who I’m talkin aboutttt
That's good, and nope I have no idea who you're talking about......
Mom…so I uhh gotmarriedtoanidiot
................... How did that happen?
I hope ur not mad mom…also u can’t kill them…I won’t allow and yes we are having sleepovers with them
.... Did you tell your other mother?
No…
...... She may take it badly.....
Can you talk to her, mom??? Please
Aight I gottchu....
I'm bored mother.....
Entertain me....
And how should I do that?
If I make a sexual request, how long will I be grounded depending on your mood rn?
A day..... but If you so happen to hint at a sexual request you'll only get half a day.....
Um......why so harsh on me? This form of disciple is NOT OK...
HELP WHY THE FUCK IS MY LONG DISTANCE FRIEND COMING TO MY HOUSE IN LIKE 10 MINUTES TO BRING ME A BIRTHDAY CARD AFTER I TOLD HER THAT I'M NOT AT MY PARENT'S WORKPLACE RN SO SHE'S COMING STRAIGHT TO MY HOUSE I'M SO NERVOUSSS
It's your birthday?? Damn, I guess she wants to see you badly....
Discipline isn't supposed to be fun it's supposed to be harsh.....
My brithday was a month ago but she had time to visit me this week
We haven;t seen each other in a long time
Aw that's cute, Happy belated birthday also..... I hope you have fun with her when she comes....
Aw thanks...she just left after we talked for like several minutes to go to other places...she's so sweet and gave me a gift card inside a handwritten birthday card....
That's really sweet, here have some cake to go with it
Awww...thx mother....
Damn did I just turn the mood wholesome? I wanted to make the conversation kinky at the start...
Aww, you were behaving.... Good girl.....
AAHHHHHHHHH.....WHY AM I PUSSYBLOCKING MYSELF-
Because you're a good child deep inside.....
*cries*
I'm invading ur partner's message board rn
.... She can handle it.....
Mom should I go bald??
Only if you want....
I’d look more like an alien child if I go bald so….
You do you, I love you nonetheless even if you don't look like an alien child......
I think your message board is where people come to fuck around,feels like home.
Yea, Y'all are welcome for the new home.....
Well I'll be leaving soon, so don't miss me hoe
Whyyyyy and whereeeeeee??
I'm changing genders. I don't want this pouch no more! I want kangaroo pp
Ah so Mr.Kanguru?
I'm still thinking... I'm still cumfused
Hmmm you could also do Mx.kanguru.... It's ok you'll find out who you are eventually.....
You really an old intellectual, mother
Yep im ancient.....
Mommy you're gone again T^T I can't see you in my mail box and mail you from your homepage too!!!!
Aight mangago is doing drugs again.....
So I need a place to live in and a new set of parentsss
You've come to the right place, my child......
Omg can you kidnap me from the orphanage plss
Im getting the adoption papers ready.....
Mom to be, is An Idiot a furry?
Yes most definitely.... They'd say no, but I know the truth......
Ok am I adopted yet?? Help plss everyone bullies me for being short ;(((
You're officially my child, no one should be bullying my child.... Who should I kill?
Hmm my ex boyfriend who ghosted me for 2 fucking yearss and later told me he wasn’t even gay?!
Aight and how should I kill him?
Mom I’m sure you are reaaallly creative so why don’t you figure it out
Aight I gotcha, I'll make him suffer....
So any updates??
Don't rush perfection..... I currently have him tied up in our basement..... Is he allergic to anything?
I didn’t get a notif :( and he is allergic to glutes
It's ok, I was gonna ask for you to come down and give him a lap dance so he can get an allergic reaction but I wont.....
Hmmm I would but I remembered I kicked a hole into his nuts so he don’t have a lap anymore :P
Wow my child is badass....
I mean it actually happened no joke..I had a toxic relationship with said guy and one day I got mad and lit beat him up-
Mom, can you tell An Idiot to stop posting scary stuff…I don’t feel so good :(
I'll try...
Did you get in trouble for that?
No but he did…
Damn that's my kid.... Not only did you beat someone up you also got away with it..... Ah you make me proud.....
Mom that guy was a literal fuck up, he did actually triggering things…
I'm sorry you had to go through shit with him, did he ever apologize for hurting you?
Molested would be the better word..and no he never apologized…I really want to talk to someone about what happened with all the details and stuff cuz that’s what’s going on in my mind rn :( but like you might judge me
Thanks and I can’t send mail for some reason, but its fine, I don’t really have issues with people seeing what actually happened in my life, I don’t wanna hide it from people who don’t know me irl, also you don’t have to read all this, I’m just glad I got a space to write my feelings...
Basically I didn’t know my boyfriend was some wacko porn addict, he kept trying to bring up gross topics, tried to 'touch' me IN FUCKING SCHOOL!! and even brought his friends to sit behind us and without consent feel around my back and arms, a lot more gross scenarios...
When I confronted him, he literally stopped hanging with me altogether. So that’s why I uhh actively bullied him for it. Now I just feel sad and regretful and keep thinking about my faults here and just can’t stop thinking about it. *insert long sigh*
Anyway ty again :)
That's very gross I really hope you're okay.... Does he still keep in contact with you?
No and its weird how that’s the part I feel bad about like he was always a quiet kid, did I bully him too far? Did he not deserve it?? Im just confused and depressed...I can’t even think of anything else.
Yea I get it.... What he did wasn't ok one bit, tbh I could see why someone would get physical with a person that kept doing what he did to you.... I'm not saying it's the right thing to do but I'd probably do the same..... I think it's a good thing you guys don't stay in contact anymore.
I guess we’re both at fault ╮(￣▽￣)╭ I get so angry sometimes I can’t not get physical
Yea totally when you tell someone no or stop and they keep doing it, or when you tell someone to stop and they treat themself like a victim is annoying as shit.....
Aight so I think it’s time to change the topic to something happier mom?? Wanna watch Pokémon?
Sounds fun, I'll make popcorn.....
Greatt after that we can look at the mangago forum and have tea~
Yaay it's like a mini slumber party.....
Yay let’s invite everyone except An Idiot, cuz they like poo
I agree....
Ma I still can’t answer questions in the forum :(
you and your wife are kinky af...
.... As we should be......
If this ends in a tragedy I'm suing someone
Same.