I mean I want to have friends I can be like that with, but since all my friends are male and I'm female that's not going to turn out well. I don't get free time away from family, I'm not allowed to date, and they are all older than me. (I'm 16 which is the consent age for my state but they are already adults(18-19)).( ̄∇ ̄")
(if you're wonderin...... reply
So this is a personal story but it's to show anyone that things can get better. Although I still have random waves of depression I had a healthier lifestyle when around them. So this experience goes like this...
Due to bullying at my old school, I was given a glimmer of hope. The vocational school was asking, like always, the 8th graders to sign u...... 3 reply
I would in a heartbeat. It wouldn't be for me. It would be for the life of my friend. I feel that if possible, even if I have to make myself alone by giving up everything. I want to save him. Even if I appear crazy. If I went back in time to even the day before, I would run to save him. Shoot, I would work towards saving him even if it was 8 years ...... reply
Guys, I'm watching Ghost Hunt in my room. You wanna watch with me?
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Okay... Which one of you stole my breakfast burrito from the microwave? 1 reply
So I know that for the United States there is talks of banning anime and manga that are deemed to be "exploiting children" or some crap like that, where any manga/anime characters that they say has child-like appearances will be banned. Manga such as SAO and most likely kenja no mago are examples of what are being banned if it passes. Any and all manga will most likely be banned since it is the art style to have smooth faces that appear child-like. Are any other countries going through this? And if so, don't you think we should stop this from happening? I'm worried that future me will have nothing else to turn to when I'm depressed. I know that I'm already in a suicidal mindset and I probably won't have anything else to live for if my escaping mechanism is taken away. (For anyone who is going to tell me to deal professional help... It is impossible for my family to fund such a thing. Antidepressants are much to expensive especially because we would have to go through a doctor and even a visit could end up putting my family into debt. I've only seen my doctor once and that was because we had to switch doctors. It's been a year since I last saw her but anyways any forms of professional help will just be to expensive for my family. The US doesn't have any free health care and when my family tried to get aid the lady refused them saying they "made too much money". We are broke. Plain and simple.)
So I have just 3 questions. One of which for you. 1. I have been having problems lately involving random waves of depression, I want to go to sleep all the time but my body refuses to go back to sleep until I am too tired to even stay awake. I have attempted to cut out electronics before bed but will end up getting bored after lying still for 2 or more hours. I feel unmotivated to do anything and I'm losing hunger. I settle for a breakfast burrito and a cup of coffee, and whatever my mom makes for dinner. When we have leftovers I just end up not eating anything for dinner. It's not like I have been snacking either, I'm starting to lose a lot of weight. My sister is saying that it's just due to the season change, but I have never had this happen since I had my friend group but they won't message me back when I need someone to talk too. What should I do? I am 98% sure that it's most likely my waves of depression, but if you have any other ideas please tell me. 2. I have a problem where if someone expects my next action due to what they know about me I stop and I don't do what they wanted me to do unless I have to follow what they say such as my parents telling me to do something. Some examples are if I'm doing some art and someone asks me where I got my inspiration I lose all motivation to continue and I somehow lose my ability to draw. If I like a certain thing and my family starts to base all my actions off of it, I dislike it. I can't even watch anime anymore because everything that was said or done to me because I watched anime makes me dislike it. Is this normal? I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore. Do you also experience this?