Judging by Sensei lukewarm attitude towards his father, I'm guessing that his parents might have divorced, which leads him to have a rather negative opinion towards love as a whole. The flashback in the beginning of the chapter shows only he and his brother waiting for their mother, but not their father.
Seeing how being with Shishio made him remember that past, I think he does unconsciously fallen for him, but he could not rationalize it in his mind. Shishio mentioned that Sensei is a perfectionist, so I think that also affects how he perceives love. Love should have been something more special, not easily given without reasons.
I also think Sensei is afraid connecting with people on a deeper level, seeing how knowing a person means you will eventually find out that person flaws, and that person will find out your flaws.
Love is an emotion, not something to be rationalize, a logical person such as Sensei has a hard time understanding the concept. I think he will only realize it when they are apart. Missing the person, wanting to be with the person, is the first sign of attraction. And hopefully, somewhere along the line, Sensei will realize that he does not need to understand love in order to love someone.
Judging by Sensei lukewarm attitude towards his father, I'm guessing that his parents might have divorced, which leads him to have a rather negative opinion towards love as a whole. The flashback in the beginning of the chapter shows only he and his brother waiting for their mother, but not their father.
Seeing how being with Shishio made him remember that past, I think he does unconsciously fallen for him, but he could not rationalize it in his mind. Shishio mentioned that Sensei is a perfectionist, so I think that also affects how he perceives love. Love should have been something more special, not easily given without reasons.
I also think Sensei is afraid connecting with people on a deeper level, seeing how knowing a person means you will eventually find out that person flaws, and that person will find out your flaws.
Love is an emotion, not something to be rationalize, a logical person such as Sensei has a hard time understanding the concept. I think he will only realize it when they are apart. Missing the person, wanting to be with the person, is the first sign of attraction. And hopefully, somewhere along the line, Sensei will realize that he does not need to understand love in order to love someone.
you said that so beautifully
I will hold on to this