Raindroppu☆'s Things

It's about manwha Lover's Hell, and it's just silly trashy erotica about a masochistic housekeeper being a sex slave for two sadistic sisters. It's stupid, but there's a bunch of stupid smut here on mangago, and I actually like this one and I think it's getting too much hate, people saying it should be taken down because it was written by a male?? Like should all yaoi smut written by women (most) be taken down too then??
Anyways, this is what I tried to post over there, first as a comment, then a topic, many times, and it just disappears when I reload the page:

"I'm sorry but I don't get why people hate on this so much? Is it because of m/s and d/s being a big part of it, or is is because it super smutty without much plot? I get that may not be everyone's cup of tee, but you can always find something more fluffy, vanilla and plot heavy, there are many such yuri out there. Asking for it to be taken down is too much, don't yuck someone else's yum. As a horny masochistic lesbian I absolutely love this, and I don't really care if it was a man or a slug who wrote it. Shame Application is pretty much a yaoi version of this and it didn't get nearly as much hate. And I don't really need more plot, my brain hurts enough already."

Like, why? is it offensive of something?

This may sound like a silly question coming from someone who is already 25, but it only started bothering me relatively recently. As a mostly-introverted gay girl in Serbia I have little experience with relationships so I hope some of you will get it better than I do.

So, like, I'm never jealous? I've had some straight crushes here and there and I've had my girlfriends talking about other people and even liking other people to my face and I've never been jealous cause of it. Sad sure, cause i wanted more of their time and attention and couldn't get it, but never jealous. And, I'm pretty sure intensity of liking them wasn't a problem, i get in fact pretty damn intense when I like someone, I've cried for days 'cause my messages weren't answered, I'd get so exited after over simple hugs i'd start full-on hyperventilating, and I've felt so happy to be in relationship with someone I like I'd go days with almost no sleep or food out of pure euphoria. I've been willing to do anything for those girls, and I did everything i could, and after they'd leave my life I'd always need like a year to recover from a depressive state.

And yet in both of my so-called serious relationships they said to me they felt like i didn't like them enough, or didn't love them. Granted, I've never said THE L WORD, because I take it very seriously and it'd sound silly after knowing each other for, like, 3 months... but they said it to me after few weeks and it did sound silly from them, I knew they only said it to paint a pretty picture in the moment, and it left me more lonely and sad than anything. Only girls who stayed in my life long enough for me to start calling my feelings LOVE were one-sided crushes, and ofc I also never said it to them.

Honestly, I think my lack of possessiveness is big part of the reason they thought I didn't really like them, they did try to make me feel and act jealous and one of them openly admitted she likes it. And, you know what, I get why people like it, I do too - but even so, I just don't feel it? I get envy, and I guess it's kinda similar, but I don't get possessive over people. Am I broken for it? will I never be able to make someone feel loved bc I'm this way? should I act as if I am even if I'm not?

Just give it your worst. I really really need to hate myself, but I seem to be bad at it however hard I try. Can you help me?

You can also count in celebrities and such, and I'm curious to hear if you see similarities between them and your type now


Mine were Luna of Hex Girls from ''Scooby Doo'', Roberta from Mexican telenovela "Rebelde'' and Rihanna... And, well, I'm still into girls with huge attitudes, sharp jaws and husky voices - and still into Rihanna (⌒▽⌒)

I'm not depressed and I don't think I'm all that emotional, but when I actively hate myself it somehow feels good and safe. When I tremble with rage, insult myself and hit myself, that's when I like myself the most. I've never cut or anything, I don't want to leave permanent scars, but I like leaving huge bruises, seeing them and pressing on them so it hurts. And if I'm calm and happy with my self for prolonged period of time it somehow feels a bit disgusting and unclean compared to when it hurts. Just a bit tho. How weird is that?