ps5junior's Topics (137)

ughh i know everyone is complaining about seunghee being annoying but unfortunately i too was an annoying gay smartass teenager who thought i knew how the whole world worked.

so unfortunately i know what its like to be bro, that is why i cant even hate him bc yea of course he acts that way. hes a gay teenager who spent most of his time online with other gay people, this is honestly too relatable

the switch up is kinda fast, but I actually don't hate it. i mean bro has been basically living very apathetically, he doesn't truly care about people and doesn't care about anyone because he believes that no one genuinely cares about him.

and that's why that older guy was his wake up call because that guy treats him exactly how he has treated everyone around him. and when Jiho asks Yoojoon why does Yoojoon even like him, he gets surprised that Yoojoon likes him for very simple reasons. And these reasons are the little things about him. Maybe they aren't for deep reasons like the way he thinks about others, but the small reasons Yoojoon lists are reasons why he likes Jiho.

Key word likes. That's why he'll get closer to him and find reasons to love him. To Jiho, these are earnest words that he never really thought could be said about him of all people. Because again, he lives very apathetically and cynically. So I think it's sweet that this is playing out like a first love story

ngl this actually isn't as long as i thought and this was on my back burner for the longest lol

and well honest thoughts, it was hot. good artstyle, and the mc falls fast. which i usually would judge, but like sehyuk is a baddie. though i actually liked his design when he was a teenager, and ig seeing that and then looking at the yaoi build he has in the future is lowkey kinda funny lmfao bc he went from looking like a normal teen boy to like yaoi god 3000

anyways i like my fair share of twinks, but im actually glad the mc wasn't a twink. and he looked pretty hot when sehyuk was sucking him off, which yes win for tops who actually service their bottoms, love to see it

bro wants to play around with people's feelings, lowkey loved that he was being humbled by the brother a little bit. bro would've been really hot if they didn't just imply he was a siscon

I really liked how I was genuinely surprised at not knowing who the love interest would be at first and instead, the story unfolded.

I think there could be a lot of complaints, but honestly I love how realistic this is. I think Seunghee's nihilism is something a lot of lgbtq+ youth feel, especially for the kids who realized that they were gay at a young age and wanted to be active in queer spaces. Like many young kids, he came out to his family at a young age not fully taking in the factor that his family would reject him and isolate him. That's why he joined online platforms because he wanted more people like him, even if it gave him access to predators. He also isolated himself from everyone around him because he didn't want to be judged for being gay and he saw no point in making friends.

I drive this point home because SO many queer people feel this way. It's so painfully relatable especially in the digital age. That's why (unfortunately) the groomer made a great point to Seunghee. If Seunghee was going to close every single possible opportunity, he is going to miss out on something good happening. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If he believes that he's never going to find someone through normal means and he'll die alone if he doesn't date online, then because he believes this he doesn't make friends and ignores everyone around him. Then, when he can't date boys his age, he blames it on the fact that he's right, when in reality it's because he didn't make any effort to have friends or even get to know anyone around him.

And though Seunghee annoyed me, his frustration in the story was also real. This couple, Seungtaek and Kyubin, got together but they didn't even struggle the way Seunghee did. They didn't have to be the gay kid who came out to his family and searched through online queer chats. They didn't put the label of gay on themselves and had to do the community searching Seunghee did. As a lesbian, that's why I believe that queer culture does exist. Of course, because free will exists, if you are lgbtq+ you don't have to participate in queer culture, but many do and their experiences will be different than if you choose not to participate. That is why many different queer stories exist, and Seunghee was simply experiencing being gay different from Seungtaek and Kyubin because Seunghee chose to search online for his community.

Enough of Seunghee, I also did enjoy the love story of Seungtaek and Kyubin very much. When the past was revealed, I was gagged. I think they were an amazing side couple and I actually liked that for the first half of this, they got spotlight as the main couple. They had a compelling love story and it was very sweet. And I think that Seunghee being a spectator was not only unique and funny, but a great way to tie back in the title. They got together and it was like Seunghee was literally seeing a BL happen to his face, but he wasn't living it. Not much else to say, just that I really enjoyed them together and I love their happy ending.

The weird groomer guy, well I hated him for being a groomer obvious. I will only give him 3 things worthy of noting. 1) He actually gave good advice to Seunghee. Again, that advice that Seunghee shouldn't be so uptight and don't be so rejecting of young romance. 2) He continued to push Seunghee to get to make friends and told him to make memories. That was very sweet. 3) He stopped (hopefully) preying on kids because that 30 year old baddie confessed to him and they ended up together. My middle-aged (???) yaoi agenda is thriving.

I like the redemption of Inbeom. He was definitely wrong in the past and his actions are not justified at all. But I can say that I'm glad he and Seunghee became friends, honest friends in the end. I think they both needed a friend to rely on.

Suhyeok was a welcome surprise. I think he looked so shady at first, but honestly when his POV dropped and we saw all the times he wanted to step in with Seunghee but didn't. It made me realize how much he was involved in the story. Him growing closer was awkward on them, but I liked how he kept trying anyways. He was genuine in his feelings for Seunghee and it was great that he was grounding him.

Overall, I love this story and instead of sleeping I read it. I think it perfectly captures the young queer experience. It's can be painful, hopeful, inspiring, sad, frustrating, euphoric, and even regretful. Life is just like that, but especially for gay young men, it is even more so clouded by what society expects from men that makes a lot of gay men depressed. The queer experience is always explained as painful and while that is true and has been true for a long time in history, BUT take this away. In the end, as long as you keep pursing happiness, you will be able to find it. It is absolutely possible to lead a great and happy life as a queer person, even with so many obstacles in our way. If you can't find someone who wants to date you, focus on friends and family. If you don't have friends and families, go outside and actively seek a community. This can be about being queer or just random interests and hobbies like reading or sports. I just think you shouldn't be alone. A life of isolation, afraid of rejection, will literally kill you. It's proven in science too. I just think as social creatures, we should be around others. It is not impossible and there is always hope. Romance isn't the end all be all. You just need a community around you no matter what. It can be one person, it can be a small group, or it can be hundreds of people. Just don't try to isolate yourself, it will do you no good.

If you read this just know from an other queer person, life is worth living. Fear is valid to have, but in the end this is our first and last life. Live a life you won't regret living. We only have one shot. Societal expectations are hard to deal with, but I think if you didn't enjoy life because of societal expectations, I think that would be very sad. Because this world is hard to live in, but not impossible. Millions of billions of people have lived here before you and I, and they managed to live for us to be alive. This world can be cruel sometimes, that is why it gives us grace other times. All hope will never be lost, please remember that.

im still reading and i'm not even at the part where the mc has a love interest, but honestly seunghee is lowkey real. when he was talking about how over and over again, in real life he's spent his time getting crushes and forcing himself to move on because they'll never like him back. that's why he goes online in queer spaces because he will never have these opportunities in real life.

and that's why he's frustrated at seungtaek and kyubin because they, unlike him, have found someone who returns their feelings and they're gay. worst part, they clearly return their feelings but are hesitant to start their relationship. seunghee even says he's frustrated, but also jealous. jealous that they are able to have a high school romance that isn't ending up in one-sided feelings.

that's why he asked that groomer dude, does feeling that twisted feeling hoping that it would end miserably because all of seunghee's own experiences ended badly make seunghee a bad person? And while i'm sincerely hoping the groomer dude isn't the real love interest, I will at least say his advice was really needed and actually good advice.

He told him that yes it is more difficult for gay people to meet in real life, under 'normal' circumstances because there's so much to deal with socially. But he also noted, that if seunghee cut off every instance of opportunities, you might miss out on something really good happening to you. Groomer guy told him that he likes to believe that you can meet anyone at any time and that if seunghee adopted this, he would feel better. Pretty solid advice coming from a groomer (fuck him)

And I do stand by this advice. I'm a lesbian and I came out when I was like 12. I'm 20 now and I think I can give my honest experience. Funnily enough, for whatever reason I've been able to have relationship experience. Maybe it's both harder and easier because I'm a girl dating other girls. Even though I'm an asian american born and raised in the south of US. Despite the prejudice that should've been there, I guess I'm glad I live in the one area that people didn't care, even though I'm in the middle of nowhere.

I say all of this because I was able to date other girls in middle and high school despite everything. And even though I'm guilty of just girls asking me out and me accepting even if I wasn't into them, I dated them and got to like them. I just wanted to date girls and I'm glad I took these opportunities instead of hiding myself and shutting myself off. I know it's hard to be brave and come out publicly, but I'm glad I did and nothing too bad happened to me. Also funnily enough I'm 20 now and my last girlfriend i had when I was 15. I was gonna be regretful, but I'm in college now and I've found great friends and especially other queer friends too.

Right now I'm young and always down to have fun. But most importantly, it is hard dating when you're gay. That's just how it is, but more than that, when you get older, you'll truly understand the importance of having friends and being in a community. Because yes if you love romance, dating will be great. But even more than that, having a community is also important to have, extremely important. Especially if you want to be in queer spaces with the queer community, learning queer history is important. I just want to say that even if you are alone and find it hard to date, it's not the end of the world. Don't shut yourself off from opportunities and if there are none, just have fun with your friends. If you're gay, don't give up it will work out in time. And if you're old and single, girl dating aint shit anyways. just go have fun with friends

man i need the eng translation soo bad. bc i still buy this manga irl but they haven't sold the eng yet ╥﹏╥

ngl i still come back to read this and honestly i think i would also just like an alternate au where taemin was alive but for whatever reason was enrolled into this school. because i ended up liking him so much, i just wish we saw what he would've been like in school like a normal teenager.

PLS DONT KILL OFF RYDER THAT IS ALL I ASK !!!! I NEED BOTH OF MY MOTHERS ALIVE FOR MORI （/TДT)/

i forgot that this is the bl that had the drama censored, which definitely sucks, but i love this so much. i need to find the novel bc i think this is genuinely just such a good story