beta
This story fails to create a genuine emotional connection between the mc and the audience, and then expects us to go omg her life is so hard and tragic!! I’m sooo sad for her uwu. If you enjoyed this story, Good on you! I also enjoyed it enough to read it all then write a long ass criticism of it. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads this, and I really want anyone who disagrees to let me know why.
we know nothing substantial about mc that makes her likable as a character. she’s “hard working” and “smart” until when she tries to elope TWICE she has no plan whatsoever despite having access to so much money and education thanks to her background. Despite studying so hard, she ends up being trailed and attacked or captured and turned into a slave cos she took 1/NO guards!!! Wtf?? she’s apparently “kind” for letting her younger sister and fiancé walk all over her and also for remembering the name of a maid…??? How low is the bar??
Sure it’s sad that no one loves her, but why am i expected to care? The forms of “punishment” enacted on her are so damn tropey it’s actually comical. Everybody hates her for NO reason while adoring her younger sister, She’s forced to watch her fiancé fall in love with her weak younger sister, and she ends up suffering over and over again. Not to mention the last minute rape added in to add shock factor. Why would i care about this essentially piece of white bread being shitted on. Nothing about her suffering makes sense, so why should I care? You know what I would care about? An interesting, developed character having to deal with extremely personal and real issues. I’d feel bad if everyone hated her if, for example, she struggled with social cues. I’d feel bad for her having to study so much if i was shown that she actually had a life which was taken away from her, or if it was emphasised how her sister is able to do things she can’t. I’d feel bad for her fiancé cheating on her if there was an actual relationship between them
And lastly, “do you think you’re the only one miserable?” I cannot explain how much i hate this. The idea of her repeatedly suffering as some sort of punishment for her sins is actually a really, really interesting idea but then it’s trampled on by this lazy, last minute line. Is this the authors way of trying to make this story seem deep and invigorating? It’s just a cheap way of making us the audience feel bad because all of the shit that’s happened to her is invalidated by this character (Crow) who she seems to find solace in, and also to try and add some mystery. But guess what, i don’t care if the other characters are suffering! Why would we, when we are literally pitted to hate them.
there’s so much other stuff i could write about but in the end ive been typing and editing for half an hour now. This story touches on interesting albeit overused themes which i really enjoy, yet it utilises them badly which overall highlights the lack of love and care put into it