pearlywaters's Things

i wanted to play the game but it won't work with my old ass phone and trying to get it on mac is too complicated for me. i've seen people talk so much about it but the character that made me to download it is la signora. is it good for f2p players? why does it take up so much space?? and when is it coming on the switch?? are there any good alternatives for it?

so my mother is quite mentally ableist and i was just wondering if asking if i hear voices in my head a form of gaslighting? like whenever i show symptoms of my mental illness, she asks if i hear voices. am i overreacting? is it gaslighting? i mean i already know my mum used to gaslight me and i can sort of grasp what it means to gaslight someone. is it just her being ableist, gaslighting or both? i get sorta paranoid when she asks that question especially because i still sometimes feel like none of my traumatic memories are real or "traumatic" and i'm sensitive/overreacting/ "crazy". i'm scared to go back to actually thinking that way. ugh i really don't know anymore. i don't think she's even intentionally gaslighting me haha. i really can't be bothered anymore. i'm scared. i think i'm in one of those times where i'm dangerously suicidal. so i also need advice on that. i'm scared.

sometimes when i'm awake at night, i don't go on my phone and i just zone out for a while and when i snap out of it, i'm confused because i thought i was awake but it feels like i woke up and then there is my position in which i "wake up" in because i definitely wouldn't sleep like that. anyways this doesn't happen very often but i recently did it and i think i zoned for 2 or 3 hours which is really worrying me.

ok so i kinda have this problem where if someone shows the slightest bit of appreciation for me, my heart goes badump and all that stuff yk. i sortaaa fell in love with my childhood bestfriend before (not really but i had fantasies about her). also there was this one bitch in my class, she seemed like a "quirky tiktok uwu" girl and she was lowkey rude and annoying. she noticed my self-esteem was quite low and i was an introvert so she tried to refute all the things i said about myself and told me to love myself. it was the first time i learned what an introvert was (ik i'm dumb), i thought something was wrong with me but it was just my mum and my sister making me insecure :) anyways bam few days later i get a sexual dream about her and end up feeling incredibly guilty. i really miss her tho and i wish i got to know her better :( anyways back on topic my best friend sent me a text "oh..." after i said that i have to stay at home again and i psychoanalysed it even though there was nothing to psychoanalyse and in my mind i said " this. this, right here. i'm marrying this girl" i feel sorry for my best friend- another problem i sorta have is when i feel like people are showing me too much love i end up ghosting them because i feel like i don't deserve them but then i just further prove my point that i really don't deserve them.

i really need help with verification, tell me which one you use and i'll send you the qr code. sorry i'm just really desperate lmao