this manga had me laughing and then crying and then laughing again. it just makes me feel so much. there’s so much visceral pain in how naruse talks about wanting so desperately to be loved the same way that’s seen as “normal” in society because he doesn’t want to have to twist or conform his love to society’s standards just because he’s a man and it’s something i think a lot of queer people can relate to. and then seeing kei show how much he hates the job he got stuck in and how he talked about how he can’t give anyone any true happiness or love, he can only be a temporary fix for their loneliness, and it’s clear he wants to find more than that. what they both seek is just a loving relationship regardless of anyone or anything around them, and i’m so happy that they found each other like this. the entire scene where kei is on the sidewalk with him and actually feels the weight of the homophobia that naruse faces and then decides to block all of that out for him and take his hand and charge head-first through it is just so so beautiful and sweet. i just love everything about this. ♡
i can’t even explain it but like the fact that the professor has never shown interest or arousal himself during the sexual activities before makes it even hotter that he was actually turned on and jerked off *with* him this time, and plus, given the stories he told about his “love life”, was that his first time ever?
i can’t even put into words how painful and beautiful this story was but i’ll just say i’ve soaked through multiple tissues with tears by the end lmao