dudewhatswrong's Topics (252)

That's an interesting observation and question. I can tell you why I think we see that situation so much. Yaoi is written by female mangaka, for a predominantly female audience. At least, for the most part. There are a few male yaoi/BL mangaka, but not as many as, say, in Shounen or Seinen. The author and audience have to have a way to relate to your protagonist, something they can look at and say, "I know how this person feels." In a story about homosexuality, the most relatable character for a female reader or mangaka is going to be the uke. It's not like we can easily relate to the desire to penetrate. Being the "receiver" in sex is the role the majority of the audience are most accustomed to or familiar with. The dynamic between uke and seme in yaoi mirrors the dynamic between a man and a woman in a hetero relationship. Though, in real life this dynamic is vastly different for homosexuals vs heteros. Basically, yaoi is how a hetero woman envisions what a male homosexual relationship would be and the lead protagonist is often the uke because that is the role that most of the readers can relate to best. If yaoi/BL were written my homosexual male mangaka, we would be treated to a vastly different dynamic between the protagonists. It's something I sincerely wish to witness someday. Sadly, with the way homosexuality is viewed in Japan, I fear I may not get to have my wish granted, but I do intend to pass all of my yaoi, and the love for reading it, down to my granddaughter when she is old enough to comprehend the subject matter and themes. I want her to view the world, not only through her own eyes, but through the eyes of those who are very different from her in many ways. Yaoi/BL is a good way to expose her to the similarities between hetero and homosexual relationships before explaining the many large differences. I'm usually against young people reading Yaoi (BL not so much), not because they are "too young to understand it", but because most read it without the guidance from an older, more exposed to homosexual life, person to explain those differences to them. A narrow minded adult, who has no contact with homosexuals, would be just as detrimental as reading it alone. Young yaoi readers need mentors with whom they can discuss what they read so they can sort out what is fantasy vs what is reality in the stories they enjoy. It's hard to make that distinction when you're reading alone.

As for the last part of your comment, you have proven my above point. In real life, a gay man would never go straight to penetration with a straight or "virgin" partner they actually cared about at the first shot at having sex. Well, that is, unless they were just a cruel and sadistic person, then they might. Sex for gay men is NOTHING like sex for a man and woman. It takes a lot longer, the build up through foreplay is more involved, there is more etiquette involved, there is more preparation that needs to occur, things just move at a different pace vs hetero sex. I'm speaking of committed partners when I say this. Players who prefer one night stands do things differently, but it still takes more effort and preparation than it would with a man and a woman. Yaoi sex is portrayed, again, through the eyes of what is usually a hetero mangaka and a hetero female audience. So, it plays out like it's hetero sex and glosses over all the finer details that go into homosexual sex. For instance, when a bottom in yaoi says, "I took a shower." This is referring to a whole battery of preparation procedures that a bottom conducts before engaging in sex. Including, but not limited to, an enema; inserting lubrication into the anal cavity; stretching and desensitizing the anus; and possibly even masturbation to orgasm. It's more comfortable for a bottom to orgasm before penetration due to the fact that hormones released during orgasm help to relieve or block out pain at low levels. So, the discomfort of initially stretching the anus at first penetration is greatly reduced. After the shower, the foreplay also becomes part of the preparation for penetration. With a man and woman, sex can last as few as three to five minutes. This timeframe is impossible between gay men unless the bottom is VERY, VERY experienced.

I apologize for the incredibly long novel I've written. You seemed genuinely interested and I felt that that interest deserved and honest and thoughtful response. Thank you for taking the time and effort to read it.

"If yaoi/BL were written my homosexual male mangaka, we would be treated to a vastly different dynamic between the protagonists. It's something I sincerely wish to witness someday."
Oh, yeah, me too. I wish I could read one. And I liked your comment very much, it is good to see someone explaining young people that anal sex is not easy and not for everyone, a lot of gay couples hardy do it because whether they dont like it or because is a pain all the procedures and they choose having sex in different ways.

There is plenty of manga written by gay men. Sure, most of it is just straight up porn, but I'm really looking forward to the new BL that was just licensed to be translated in English called That Blue Sky Feeling. It sounds like it would be perfect if you want gay manga written by a gay man that's suitable for a young person.

Wow, thank you for that happy information. Do you happen to know the name of the mangaka as well? Do they have any other works published?

The mangaka is Okura, and it looks like he does have other work called Tencho To Issho, but it's only been translated into Italian. Unfortunately English information is really sparse on the ground so I can't provide more help. I think Japanese youth are becoming accepting and curious about gay artists and their stories, and the Western audience is already open to it, so in the next few years we may get a lot more in English. At least, that's what I hope.

Thank you, again. I'll keep my eyes open for him. My Italian is a little rusty, but it's much better than my Japanese at the moment. LOL It sounds like we hope for the same things.

I've spent my entire life with only gay and bi male friends. I'm not comfortable around hetero women at all. As a kid, my brother who is 13 years older than me and gay, would take me with him when he had parties with his friends. I was everyone's "baby sister". Those are some of my most favorite memories. I looked up to my brother and his friends and they cherished me dearly. As I grew older, I was taken to bars and clubs and even the bath houses a few times. (We lived in the New York, New Jersey, PA area, so we were drawn to New York City, Philadelphia and Atlantic City club scenes.) I grew up exposed to a reality that was far different from what my (hetero) friends at school experienced. We lived in entirely different worlds. I've sat and cried with friends who have faced discriminations and abuse and I've even buried a few friends who couldn't take it. Too many of the latter, to be honest. So, the idea that people who are like my friends finally facing a day where they can be free from the pain and struggles of hiding who they are makes me so very happy. The right to love whomever you choose should never have been in question to start.

Sorry, your comment got me reminiscing. LOL Thanks, again, for the info. I'll put it to good use.

Genuine respect for your thorough explanation. I honestly did not expect something so profoundly detailed as a reply to my comment. Although I'm always open to hearing out anyone and any ideas with no bias hindering my judgment, unfortunately, I never had the chance to have a conversation with or listen to the thoughts of those who live a different life - whether that be their sexual orientation, life of wealth or poverty, or their general experience in life. So, I'm honestly grateful for your "novel". It was certainly worth everything. Thank you.

My most sincere apologies for responding to others before I responded to you since you were the first to comment on my reply. I completely missed your response and I'm sorry.

Thank you for the compliment, I'm honored. I wish that I could mentor more of them, but my views and opinions are a little "out there" for most teens nowadays. Maybe it's because I'm old and yet, I'm the farthest thing from "conservative".

"Anal isn't for everyone" is a good way to put it. It's taxing on the body for the bottom. You wouldn't think that was so by reading yaoi though. LOL The anal cavity is made of very delicate tissue and it can tear very easily. Once that happens, infection from the natural bacteria found in feces can, quite literally, kill you. I have a lot of friends who are gay and they, too, find other creative ways to satisfy their partners besides anal sex. It's more like a "special occasion" activity, if you know what I mean. LOL

You are sincerely welcome. What I lack in wealth, I make up for in life experience. If most people have "been around the block", it feels like I'm the "one who built it". LOL I have friends from all walks of life, professions, orientations, races and creeds. It's hard to view the world narrowly when you have so much input from people unlike yourself. However, I grew up surrounded by friends who were gay or lesbian. My brother "came out" to me when I was 7 because he wanted to show me off to his friends. I was everyone's "baby sister". LOL I went EVERYWHERE with him until I was a sophomore in high school. Then, I just went out on my own with his friends when he couldn't. I can honestly say I'm more comfortable in the company of gay men than I am with hetero women. Even in a club setting where PDA is ubiquitous, I'm more comfortable seeing two men together than a man and woman. It's amazing how what we're exposed to as children influences our view of the world.

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. I look forward to talking with you again in the future.

You don't have to apologyze at all! I wasn't expecting an answer, it did just want to express that I was agree in everything you said and share my observation. It's good to have readers of yaoi or BL as you who have a profound knownledge in the reality of gay people. For me is quitte interesting and I feel the BL manga literature is plague of too much heteronormative cliches which make the reading boring and superficial to me, I think I would enjoy it pretty much if I felt the characters more real, real gay/bi/pan men. I hope as you said it came a day when the world and Japan in particular get rid of their prejuices and misconceptions in sexuality matters. Ti would be a better world and I'm sure they would write great BL mangas and of any genre too. :)

Funny thing tho this is actually one of the rare mangas where the straight man is actually the bottom. I've read PLENTY of mangas where the straight guy is the one taking the penetrative role and the uke enduring his clumsiness for holding a man for the first time. So this was actually quiet refreshing to me.

Update and exciting news!! Shortly after having this wonderful discussion I happened across a shounen ai manga that was BASED ON A TRUE STORY!! The mangaka is female, but the characters and situations are based on real people and their love story. There's no sex, but that is really not nearly as important as seeing their real story. The hardships they faced and the courage they faced them with are simply astounding. I guess I should tell you the title, huh? LOL

http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/tatoeba_konna_koi_no_hanashi/

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Of the 2450 manga that I have read, I'd say 15% to 20% have the straight guy in the "top" role. The other 80% to 85% are the straight guy as the "bottom". The confident gay man or the aggressive straight-turned-gay man who has already done his "homework" usually takes the "top" position and "leads" the less knowledgeable guy in his position as the "bottom". Now, there are also "power bottoms" who will seduce the straight guy and then ride him, but sadly there are far too few of those. I adore a power bottom, both in real life and in fiction. One of my favorite power bottoms is Kaoru(sp) from the Happy Yarou Wedding Series by Fujisaki Kou.

Am I the only one who has a conversation sometimes with manga dialogues...? I just blurt things out without thinking...

Omg I do that all the time I swear to God I just talk with the manga lol didn't know there were other people like me

Glad to know I ain't the odd one out!

Ik, I was getting antsy to see who the Seme was as well.