![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
This is actual abuse, both emotional and physical. Now, that doesn't mean I hate Shiro. In fact, I feel really bad for him. I have seen this exact situation, on more than three occasions before, myself. Shiro is a violent self-loather. When he can't accept his homosexual desires, he lashes out at the object of those desires, but inside his own heart, he is punishing himself. It is a sad and dangerous situation, but in places where homosexuality is not socially accepted, it is common. The ending of the story was the best possible outcome for Shiro and for the girl. If he kept denying himself and living in the closet, she'd have been his next victim when he felt the overwhelming desires of his sexuality. Even for Hiro, who admittedly has masochistic tendencies, this is still a good outcome because if Shiro can accept himself, the self-loathing will subside and the violence will go with it. Not all abusers remain abusers forever. If they can overcome the trauma that is the trigger for their abusive tendencies, often, they no longer feel the need to lash out.
I was fascinated by this story. It was written so well that I could actually feel my heart clench for each character. Even the ambiguous ending seemed to fit well, since the last thing I wanted to see was the girl losing her shit after Shiro broke up with her.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
This manga is written beautifully. The characters, situations and even the plot, though based in a seemingly sci-fi setting, are not overdone with extreme expression , including the art, dialogue and exposition. This makes the pace very slow, quiet and calming. The subtlety of the stories and the ambiguity of the endings gives a feeling of hope for each of the couples without giving away the true nature of their relationships or their happy ending. Normally, this would annoy me, but for this manga, it fits the style completely and I really enjoyed it. There is no need to see the details when you can feel, so intensely through the art, the feelings of each of the characters. The stories wouldn't have the same impact if the details were spelled out, IMO. Usually, ambiguous endings feel lazy to me, as if the writer couldn't think of a way to finish the story. Thus, they leave it up to the reader. However, with this story, it seemed that there was more effort put into the ambiguity of the ending than one would normally have to expend on simply writing out the details for the reader. That effort was not wasted, this was an amazing manga.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
When a young mind is neglected and abandoned, then left to it's own devices, the result is never healthy. The poor kid was utterly abandoned and grew up without any adult guidance, save his mother's sporadic, cryptic advice and the advice of teachers who only cared about his grades - since that is how they achieve their own career goals. Literally everyone around him ignored his needs, including his own brother who was the only person he felt he could rely on. Of course he became selfish and self serving! No one else was going to give him anything. So, he took what he wanted and needed for himself. It is the same with feral children. By nature, humans are greedy, petty, jealous and selfish. These are necessary for our survival in situations where we are alone and not part of a society or civilization. We are born with these insticts to aid in survival, and only after being properly guided by adults to repress these insticts that are destructive when in social/civilized situations, are we able to function properly in those social/civilized situations. Without that guidance, we simply fall into a feral state that focuses solely on ourselves and our own survival and desires. Yuki was older and had the benefit of adult guidance for a few years, but that was denied to Hayato. A child just a year or two older can not raise another child. Have none of you ever read or watched "Lord of the Flies"? It is the same premise. Hayato was as much a victim as Yuki was. Hayato's abuse of Yuki stemmed from the neglect of his mother. He didn't know how to interact with others when it came to situations that are not covered by a school lesson. The only true villain in this story is the mother. Hayato had the emotional capacity of a toddler all because he was neglected and abandoned by his mother to be raised by another child who was barely older than himself. You can't fault a two year old for acting like a two year old and although Hayato was chronologically in his teens, he was stunted, emotionally, from the moment his mother abandoned him. They weren't abandoned for a few months either, this was their life for several years that were key in Hayato's emotional development.
All that said, I was sorely disappointed in the translators need to add their asinine comments regarding the scenes. As a reader, I don't want someone else to determine how I feel about a story. Especially when their comments are biased, narrow-minded and uneducated. They were her files and she has every right to add anything she chooses to what is hers. However, I will avoid, like the plague, anything translated by this person in the future. There was a point to the story that the translator was obviously to immature to grasp. As a mature, educated, adult reader, I don't need help from a child to sort through a story with situations too mature for them to grasp. The comments simply drove home the point that the person reading and translating this story was as emotionally immature as Hayato and as intellectually immature as, well, a pubescent girl. Go figure. This manga's translation, and the notes by the translator, highlight why young readers either need an older mentor to properly grasp the material they are reading and/or the need to restrict this type of material, even on free sites, to those over 18. The story was tainted, as were the opinions of some readers, simply because a child translated it. That is such an injustice to the mangaka that worked their ass off on this story. It was like having the class clown interrupt a serious discussion with fart noises. Frankly, it pissed me off.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
And I am no exception! Somehow, whenever I read this manga, by the time I get to the last chapter, I can't remember any of the other stories because the last one blows them all out of my mind. The subtlety of the twist is sublime. You expect the mild mannered office worker to play some part in the twist, but his backstory and "true form" comes out of left field in the best possible way. Part of me would love to see more of this chapter - a big part, honestly - but another part of me says that it is written so perfectly just the way it is. Would continuing to draw the story out dilute the impact of the beauty of the story? I don't know, but I'd almost hate to find out. What is read can't be un-read, ya know? So, I will satisfy myself by simply rereading this manga, and chapter 6 particularly, as often as I can. LOL
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
It doesn't matter if they are dainty and fem or big, burly bears! I guess some people can only like a certain type of guy, where I just love men in general. Looks and body type have never been the key to what turns me on about them. Kensuke didn't turn me on much, but he did make the story interesting! He was drawn just like all the others. So, it wasn't his body that turned me off, but his personality. Though, without his promiscuity, there would have been no story! I guess I'm conflicted when it comes to him. LOL I did like all the other men though. Especially Taiga-san. He seemed like a sweetheart, as did Ikeada. I love it when big, strong men are cuddly teddy bears. My husband and brother's influence, I guess.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
I've read some beautiful stories, but this... This blew me away. Poor Ichigo having to live such a life, his poor mother who lost her mind to guilt, Yuusa who had to battle demons far worse than any you'd find in a fairy tale, every one of them made me want to grab them and hug them tight and tell them how strong and brave they were. I'm old and jaded. So, it takes quite a lot to touch my heart like this. What I wouldn't give to see a "10 years later" extra of this story!
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
When there is already an established hetero pairing in the original canon, I can't enjoy a BL version pairing. This seemed more like a friendship borne from a shared feeling of duty than a love relationship. In fact, I was shipping Sai with Douryoon (sp). Regardless of my feelings for the pairing of Haji and Sai, the artwork was breathtaking and the writing was exceptional.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
... everything you need to know about the couple is apparent in the art and visuals. This isn't an easy way for most mangaka to get a story across, but this mangaka did it fantastically. The facial expressions and body language portray the feelings and thoughts of the characters better than words could in this story's case. This simple one shot had more depth than some of the seven chapter series I've read. This is not only beautiful art, it is the total package of beautiful, expressive, with depth and the ability to tell the story with little dialogue and exposition. This is going into my favorites list.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
Just how many readers realized that the kid was an extreme masochist who would antagonize his father into beating him. His father likely beat him long before he became a masochist though and the father is also the very reason the kid became a masochist. If the only attention he received from his father was when he was being beaten, he would begin to find pleasure in the attention and eventually pleasure in the pain. The kid miscalculated when he antagonized the father too far and was stabbed. As for the vampire, he recognizes the masochistic tendencies in the kid, which is why the kid tries repeatedly to kill him. The kid knows it is impossible to kill the vampire, but he still antagonizes the vampire's wrath in order to gain the vampire's attention and the punishment he desires so much. The kid was programmed to be this way by the actions of his father from a young age. I doubt the kid really feels angry at the loss of his father, since the vampire took over the punishment and seemed to do a much better job at it. But it does make for a good excuse to antagonize the vampire.
In BDSM the kid would be considered a "brat" or a defiant masochist. This is someone who will incite and antagonize their sadist in order to receive punishment. The punishment is what the defiant masochist desires greatly. The more they fight back and antagonize, the harsher the punishment and this is precisely what the defiant masochist wants.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
You're not dumb at all. If you're not familiar with the goings on in BDSM there is really no way you can recognize something you've never seen or experienced before. I'm sure you did recognize that there was something off about the kid though. You just didn't know exactly what it was. Now you do. This is how we learn and why it is important to experience or at least see new things. Even if they are disturbing, that information can be added to your knowledge. Maybe you will never need it again or maybe it will come in handy later. Either way, you have it now. It is always better to have something and not need it than needing something and not have it.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
LOL When I was a kid I used to read the dictionary from cover to cover during school breaks. I did it for exactly the same reason you said. It feels frustrating to not know. Now that I am much older, I tutor young people in English. I love to help and I love to teach. Seeing a student use something I taught them, and use it confidently, makes me feel very happy. If you are ever confused about words in the future, feel free to ask me. I definitely won't think you're dumb and it will make me happy to help you.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
Those are all apps available on Google Play and they are all free. Human Japanese has a paid app that is more in depth, but their free app is good to get you started. I have the paid app. It was $20 USD, but it has been worth every penny! The creator of the app is actually a college Japanese Language professor and the lessons in the app feel just like a college course. They cover everything from the history of the language to the customs and culture of Japan as well as giving a detailed understanding of the language itself. You don't just learn a few phrases with Human Japanese, you learn how the language works so you can build your own sentences and phrases with your own thoughts, rather than relying on a phrase that you memorized. The way it teaches is easy to understand too. I love this app and I can't say enough good things about it. So, if you try it and want to use the paid app, contact me here through mail and I will help you get the paid version.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/0d/u69252_50x50.jpg?2)
I'm not so much smart as I am experienced. I am a defiant masochist too and I got that way exactly like the character in this book. I was abused as a young child. Though, admittedly, I never sought affection from my abuser nor did I harbor any for them. I did, however, have a tendency to provoke their wrath out of spite. Despite our size difference, I would provoke them in order to have an excuse to hurt them back. If they hurt me, I was justified in my retaliation. My abuser passed away when I was about 15. I certainly did not miss them, but I did find myself missing the interaction. I found myself looking for fights with anyone I could antagonize. Friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, strangers. And just like this character was noticed by the vampire, I was noticed by a man who had a fetish for BDSM. He trained me as a submissive and showed me a world where I was always in control of what happened to me. I have been involved in BDSM for over 30 years now. Without BDSM, I'd have just been another angry victim of abuse. BDSM, and the things I learned there, made me a survivor instead. He and it saved me.
![](https://pic1.mangapicgallery.com/r/avatar/95/u477189_50x50.jpg?2)
Wow. I was really about to cry reading your story. Thank you for sharing it. And I’m glad you were able to find solace and control through BDSM. I’m super glad I got to hear your background since it shows that we all come from different pasts and experiences! It’s amazing!!! I hope we all continue to grow and enjoy the pleasures of every aspect of life from now on (●'◡'●)ノ
I thought I'd read all of this mangaka's works. Apparently, I had not. The art and story are beautiful, as to be expected from this mangaka. She has a way of making pure, unadulterated innocence so damn sexy. The drama and tension last the span of a chapter or two, making even the big conflicts bearable. I really enjoyed this manga and I'm sad it took me so long to read it.