Hi Mameiha, I've followed you before because I've noticed that what you've said usually answers my questions. Naturally speaking, one of the most significant and annoying questions being "yaoi rape". I can now think clearly about all of this without constantly rattling my brain and whatnot...
It's really hilarious in all honesty, because every time I read the comments, I see many immature comments from which I relate to and laugh at, practically because I'm underage (14). And I've long figured out that I'm not supposed to be on this website, let alone the fandom. I also see myself as a hypocrite and indecisive, because most of the time I don't want to stay on a specific side of an argument, and would rather not argue with most people because it's not worth the time and is a waste of energy.
Thank you for taking the time to write your insights, thoughts and opinions on this website.
Had to follow cause I love your insights. XD thanks.
Jesus Christ on crutches! I just found a question from a 17 year old asking if masturbation will lead to dating and having sex! Thank God for them internets! ROFLMAO
Hi Mameiha
Thank you for the follow back :) I really like your rants and comments. They are truly interesting and insightful to read. I like to read discussions and comments from different people from different countries raised in different backgrounds. I learn from them and sometimes get involved too. I hope you continue to rant/comment without any restrictions because I feel you are what an older sister would be if I had any and you set a good example of how people should approach Yaoi as it should be, a fantasy source of entertainment and fiction.
Thank you, Miyu. If I were an older sister, I would hope my younger sibling was someone like you. I admit I do rant a bit (lol) but I try to contain my bitching to my own page. LOL So, please feel free to read my brain vomit and tell me what you think. I love hearing views that differ from my own and I'm happy to debate, discuss or give my best free advice on any subject. I'm also happy to chat through the mail here.
Sure Big Sis I would love to chat with you ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
Jesus Christ on a stick! I haven't been back to this cesspool a full month and I am acutely aware of why I bailed for nearly a year! LMAO I really am WAY TOO OLD FOR THIS STUPIDITY! Every comment turns my stomach when I think that THESE clueless, brain dead, hacks are going to be running the world and making decisions in the future. It is enough to drive a person to suicide.
Mameiha, I have a questions for you. There is rape in hentai as well. Sexual harassment in ecchi harem are passed off as comedy. Sexualization of children is also quite normalized in anime and manga. But I wonder why people are so disturbed by the rape in yaoi? It is after all fiction and mainly erotica. I have seen people saying how it's just drawing when the aforementioned things are brought up. But yaoi on the other hand is seen as problematic. I am generally curious and I have never been able to get any answer from anyone.
Many would say how inaccurate it is. But isn't most straight romance also heavily inaccurate in their portrayals? I never expect real life human beings to be the way media portrays them. Isn't that a common knowledge? I very much still respect the lgbt+ community and I know that Yaoi and Yuri is knowhere near how actual gay relationships are like. Sorry to dump such huge texts on you >< but you seem to be a mature and intelligent person. I would like to know your opinion regarding this matter.
First, allow me to apologize for my delay in responding to you. I had to take a break from here for a bit because, as you've probably noticed, a large number of readers have some very small minded views and opinions. Much like the one you have asked about. I guess it started making me lose faith in our future generations. LOL Then, I return and I am blessed to see an intelligent and insightful question on my message board. Thank you for such a wonderful greeting upon my return.
Now, to answer your questions: I don't think it is the genre that is the issue when it comes to the "rape debate" as much it is the demographics of the audience, particularly on this site and sites like it. The audience for yaoi is dominated by females ranging in age from 18 to 30 for the printed media. However, the audience for yaoi on free sites like this one has readers as young as 11. Hentai tends to be more popular with males, but yaoi and yuri are the domain of women. This is why the stories tend to have the whole fairy tale, happily ever after love vibe. So, now you have young girls who have been exposed to both fairy tale stories of princesses find their princes and the real world concept that rape is a crime. The idea of Cinderella being raped by Prince Charming goes against everything they have learned and experienced up to now. Of course it freaks them out. Why would a parent tell their 11 year old that, while rape is bad, it is also a fetish that people have fantasized about since the first erotic cartoon was doodled on a cave wall? They wouldn't do it. There is no need to expose an 11 year old to that yet. That is a conversation for when they are older. This leads us to our current predicament. Young readers being exposed to concepts far outside their scope of understanding without the guidance of an older mentor who can explain the hows and whys of what they are reading. I view rape in yaoi as exactly what it is... fetish content. Rape, as you've noted, is very common and popular in erotica and hentai. It turns readers on. Obviously the act, in real life, is a crime and morally reprehensible. But that is what makes it so fascinating and erotic in fiction and fantasy. It is one of the ultimate forbidden acts. Humans love to want what they are forbidden to have. Since the actual act is a crime, we enjoy it in fantasy and fiction. Safely.
Yes, yaoi and yuri are riddled with inaccuracies. Especially older manga. And yes, so is all fiction. That is what makes it fiction and not fact. However, in the case of yaoi and yuri, older manga are also riddled with prejudice and homophobia. You might think that it is common knowledge that fiction has inaccuracies, but we are back to the problem of the audience being so young. Up to this point in most young reader's lives, all the stories - even the fairy tales - have themes that directly relate to a truth in real life. However, this is not the case in yaoi and yuri manga. So, when the fictional world that a young reader immerses themselves into through yaoi or yuri doesn't coincide with the real world they feel dissapointed and betrayed. The other major issue I see in inaccuracies in yaoi and yuri is the fact that so many young readers view manga as some kind of "gay relationship how to manual". Particularly in the case of the mechanics of the act of sex. If kids think that they can have anal sex as easily and smoothly as it seems in manga or even porn, someone is going to be seriously injured. By the same token, heteronormalization of homosexual relationships gives young readers the idea that all bottoms are effeminate, girly-boys or that there is a "girl's role" in a homosexual relationship. What does that even mean?! LOL
I hope my answers have given you new ideas to ponder and I look forward to having more interesting conversations with you in the future. I'm always happy to answer questions and if you are one of the young readers I mentioned, I would also be honoured to mentor you through your yaoi/yuri experience. I am 49, a bisexual woman who recognized and accepted my sexuality at age 9. I was raised by my brother, who is gay, and his many friends and lovers. So, my knowledge is borne from experience and I'd be happy to share it with you.
Are you my father? (A terrible intro riddled with opportunity). I recently saw a thread you commented on that I was about to reply to and you said everything I had to say TWICE. So then clearly I see a connection promising more replies that appear to be plucked from my own brain, and decide I must pursue this opportunity to follow you. I then see you have 3 children, 47, are from Montana, work with books and the description you gave of your husband on the fat shaming post where I was first introduced to you on, you described my dad and younger brother to a T. So it begs the question, "dad if you were ever secretly into gay porn and manga, would you tell me?" Also, grizzly's or bobcats?
GO CATS! LOL Well, if I were a guy, with my sordid past, I might be your dad. LMAO I hope we have many more opportunities to chat in the future. I'm really looking forward to it.
By the way, sorry it took so long to respond. I had to take some time away because I was starting to get burned out by the small mindedness of some of our fellow readers. I try hard to not let it get to me, but even I have my limits. LOL
This is random but I saw one of your comments and clicked on your name, you can totally ignore me but I just wanted to ask what you do for a living if you do not mind. I like the way you type, then I started wondering what you do for a living.
I am self employed as a proofreader and English tutor. I work, predominantly, with foreign students at my local college.
Hey Mameiha! I read you are able to answer nearly every question concerning sexuality. So I wanted to ask if it's widely common for people with a vulva to experience orgasms different over time? In my case when I started with clitorial masturbation the orgasms where strong and amazing but after some time they started to get weaker and weaker until I wasn't really able to orgasm anymore which kinda made me really depressed. After some years I was able to accept it. I began to use vibrators to feel at least a bit more. It helped. But after some time it wasn't enough anymore. I couldn't repell the wish to orgasm satisfactory anymore thus I bought a magic wand. With it I'm able to orgasm in a different way than at the very beginning but now it's at least kinda satisfactory. It's just that now every stimulation weaker than the magic wand doesn't really make me orgasm at all anymore. Due to what I experienced I'm concerned that soon even this vibration might be to weak to make me orgasm at least this much. But it's already no longer possible to orgasm in complete decency since the magic wand isn't the quietest toy around. So an even stronger toy would be not even way more expensive but also much louder... What are your thoughts or recommendations on this topic?
What you have experienced is very common and I have also had the same experiences myself. All of our senses lose sensitivity over time when we become accustomed to a repetitive sensation. For instance, when was the last time you noticed the sound of your refrigerator running? Or noticed the freckle on your nose? You hear or see these things so often, your brain ignores them. The same thing happens when you touch the same place in the same way over a period of time. Do you notice a ring you have worn for years or the way the waistband on your underwear feels? You will notice if the ring is missing or if the waistband is too tight though, Right? That is because you have changed the sensation.
With masturbation, if your body becomes accustomed to the sensation, the sensation has to be stronger to reach the same climax, especially if you masturbate frequently. What I'm going to recommend isn't going to be something that you're going to enjoy hearing or doing, but it works. You're going to want to stop masturbating for a while. If you masturbate daily, take a break for 3 weeks to a month. I know that may seem like torture, but you have to reset your sensitivity. After 3 weeks, try starting back with a gentle touch rather than jumping into the magic wand. If you still feel very little or nothing, give yourself some more time without masturbating. I was going through exactly the same thing that you are when I came down with gastroenteritis. I was near death (not really, but it felt like it) for over a month. I had no desire to breathe, let alone masturbate. When I felt better, I tried masturbating again with the same intensity level that I had reached before I got sick and I almost came out of my skin! It was WAY too intense. So, I tried to be extra gentle and I climaxed smoothly. Now, if I can't get off with a gentle touch, I take a break for a week or two and when I try again, I climax quickly and easily. The key is to not let your body become accustomed to the feeling of masturbation. I masturbate 3 to 5 times daily and after about a month of that, I take a week off. Usually it is during my period. That has been enough to reset my sensitivity. Since you are at a point where you are needing the intensity of a magic wand, you probably need to take a fairly long break to reset your sensitivity. That is why I recommended 3 weeks to a month.
I hope this helps and I am sorry that my recommendation is so extreme. Let me know how things go or if there is anything else you have questions about. Good luck and I sincerely hope this works out well for you.
Thank you for answer. I guess I'll have to try this out then. (￣∇￣")
Let me know how things go. I really do hope this works for you, I'd hate to think your next toy will have a two stroke motor you have to kick start like a motorbike! LOL
it will hopefully never come to that! ROFL
Hi ^^
I think you have experience , so I wanted to ask you about tags and how I can add new tag , make other people use it and make it on Top Tags ?
I fear my response may disappoint you, but I don't really pay attention to the tags that others apply to a manga. I use them if they seem appropriate when I am marking a manga as read and I occasionally add my own if the list is lacking or to remind myself of a specific attribute in a manga, but I have never really cared if a tag I started became popular. I assume if the tag is used often enough by others, it will become a popular tag. So, creating tags that apply well to a manga and also stand out as easy to remember or funny would make a tag popular. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor and I apologize that I couldn't be of much help.
Thank you so much
You are so sweet ^^
I've figured it out! Why reading comments bugs the shit out of me so much. It's two things. First, I am bothered by the fact that these people's parents have raised them to be such selfish, narrow minded, pretentious little shit heads and second, I feel like I'm trying to raise 50,000 toddlers out of their terrible two's! It really is exhausting. Only one in 50 or 100 comments from an under 18 reader ever sounds like they weren't raised either by wolves or by the Amish. LOL Actually, the wolves would do a far better job than some of these reader's parents have. How do you raise a child to 15, 16, 17, or 18 and not sit them down and explain that the real world is nothing like a fairy tale. I mean, that's the whole reason we have fairy tales, fiction and manga, because it gives us the hope that the real world robs from us. Otherwise, we'd all just lay down and die. We might find a moment or two, or even ten, in our lives when life feels like a fairy tale, but even that is temporary. That is why those times are precious. If we had that all the time, like we do as children, we would take it for granted. If a parent thinks they are doing their children a favor by sheltering them until they become adults only to boot them from the nest to fly at 18, they are sadly mistaken. In reality it is cowardice that compels their actions. They don't want to admit that the world is not "perfect" or "wonderful" and that they had no idea how to prepare their children for the reality of it without scaring the hell out of them. As a parent, I was willing to scare my kids with the harshness of reality and how the world would treat them as adults. I hated it, but I felt that I would hate seeing them hurt later much more. It sucked, but now my sons are strong, socially and emotionally stable and happy. When the shit hits the fan, they know how to get through it. They also know that their dad and I are always here to support them. There isn't much that life could throw at them that they couldn't handle. Which really bothers me when I see young adults so emotionally and mentally ill prepared to deal with real life. They deserve the same chance my kids got and yet, they were denied it. Why? Parenting isn't easy, to be sure, but that doesn't mean you just leave your kids without any resources or information because it is too scary, troublesome or inconvenient for you! Shit! They can't stay children forever and you can't hold their hand forever because no one lives forever.
That leads me to my next complaint/point of contention/point of confusion. What are parents teaching their children about love and relationships? Or, are kids relying on movies, TV, idiots on the internet, manga and fiction to learn about this subject? I guess when you are a single parent it is hard to teach your kids about relationships by example. Not that I have anything against single parents, I was one once. I had to cut ties with a lying, cheating, theiving, drug addict. Shit happens, life goes on. You could say I got lucky when I met someone whom I liked and not only did they like me back, but they loved my kids too. Except it wasn't all just luck. We weren't a couple without problems, to be sure. Yet, leaving or divorcing was never considered because the problems we had could never be bigger than the problems we'd have saddled our kids with if we were to split up. So, we worked through them together. We did it for them and for us. They were worth it and so were we. Why is this an alien idea to parents today? I'm not saying anyone should stay in a violent or abusive relationship to spare the kids because, frankly, you're not sparing them anything. You're making their life hell. However, getting divorced because you're bored, you're lonely, you're dissatisfied, etc is just selfish. Make that shit work! Get help. See a counselor. Ask yourself if you're the one who might need to make some personal changes rather than just blaming your unhappiness on your partner. Really search your soul. Partners are not like iPhones, you don't need a new one every 6 months to be happy. Teach your kids that relationships happen between two human beings with faults and flaws, virtues and dreams of their own. That relationships are always based on compromise. Show them how you and your partner work through problems rather than running from them. Show them that a relationship isn't about what you can get, but what you can give. You shouldn't love someone for what they can offer you. Love isn't for you. Your love is meant to make your partner happy, not used as a bargaining chip so you can get something back. Just knowing you have made them happy should be all the reward you need. If it isn't, well, you're doing it wrong. If your partner loves you in the same way, with only your happiness on their mind, they will already be doing and giving plenty. Sadly, it seems that no one wants to give unless they get something first. Which really puts most relationships on the skids before they even start. No wonder divorce rates and the rate of single people is so high! No one wants to be the first to give. Which circles back to not understanding that relationships are all about compromise. LOL
Ahhh you've just described the millenial generation. Tech had a hand in raising them and they can't interact properly with people.
Wow, I never really considered that as a reason for the idiocy. Seriously. My sons are also millenials and it never occurred to me to allow the internet to become a "babysitter" for them. It was, and still is, a tool to help me do my job as a parent, not something I push my responsibilities onto to avoid them. But you are so right! Now that you've said that, I can see how everything I said would come about from allowing children to be raised by the internet rather than raised by their parents. That is just so sad and frustrating. Kids not only deserve better, but they also need better resources than the internet can provide to grow up a fully rounded, socially and emotionally sound adult. Thanks for helping to solve one of my life's mysteries! LOL
Whether you enjoy omegaverse manga or not, this is a manga not to be missed. Though the prevailing themes of omegaverse move the plot, greater themes of love, acceptance, understanding and self-confidence create the resolutions to the conflicts. This is not a "sex solves everything" omegaverse manga. This mangaka is far more talented a storyteller than that. Personally, I have even suggested to my granddaughter that she read this manga. It is one of the few manga that uses the omegaverse to highlight common situations that anyone who is viewed, socially, as "different" might face. Which, I think, young people should see from many perspectives in order to understand that not everything needs a political rally, governmental law, lynch mob, suicide or Facebook frenzy to solve. Sometimes, just the love and acceptance of friends and family (blood or chosen) and a little self-confidence can overcome many social adversities. This manga is one that tells those types of stories poignantly yet simply and always with a positive "moral to the story" and an HEA. I hope this manga continues on with a good long run and, when the time comes, ends as beautifully as it began and continued.
OK granma
Awww, does baby need attention? Do mommy and daddy not hug you enough? Do the mean kids at school ignore baby? You poor thing. Okay, I will give you attention. Are you ready?
GO FUCK YOUR HAT
Feel better now?
If you say so
And still you persist. You really do crave attention bad. I get it. But, even if you disagree with my opinion, don't you think you would enjoy the positive attention that an intelligent discussion would provide rather than trading insults like a couple of school children?
Unless... are you a masochist? It's okay. I am too. I just prefer my humiliation to be dished out from someone who really knows me and can trigger just the right responses from me. I guess we all have our own preferences. But if you need someone to verbally abuse you, I'd be happy to help. We could get to know each other and then my humiliation would feel that much more intense. Reply back if I'm right and if you want me to show you some of the things I have learned as a Dom.
Lmao I was just joking, didn't know that it'll get this bad. I'm not an edgy youngster who dismisses anything from their elders just because they're old. Then I wouldn't be in an 18+ website, no?
Anyways I'll go Frick my hat as you said.
BTW I agree with your comment. This manga is heartwarming. I thought it was boring and got sleepy in my first read.
Sadly, this is NOT a restricted website and the majority of yaoi readers here are well under 18. Also, you don't have to be a kid to crave attention. All humans crave it. We are social/pack animals after all. It is the same if you are 16 or 61. How you go about getting that attention is what changes with age and experience. As you may have guessed, You're not the first person to reply to me as you did. I am actually a very tolerant and understanding person, just not in the face of unnecessary rudeness. As I am sure you have surmised.
I would agree that this manga has its slow moments and it really doesn't fit the yaoi genre. In fact, if I am not mistaken, it is technically shounen ai. I can't remember if the sex scenes are explicit or implied. This manga is more "Madame Bovary's Lover" or "The Story of O" where most yaoi is "Debbie Does Dallas." (Wow, my porn references really show my age. LOL)
At any rate, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I enjoyed that part of our conversation far more than our previous interactions. I hope we can do this again and just skip to the conversations.