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Zhenzhu January 21, 2025 6:09 pm

So I do agree with the people saying "why are you bashing hear abd calling her toxic and a creep and insecure. You know nothing about mental health and only support it to your convenience and when it's sad" and while I do agree to some extent, I still also think that just because she's suffering from mental illness doesn't mean it's not a toxic behavior. Yeah it's not right to feed into the stigma of calling her a creep and a loser, but she IS being toxic and her mental illness doesn't negate that and absolve it. Toxic people do toxic shit because they're unwell. If you think an asshole or a bully does bad shit because they're born evil then that's a skewed pov of the world where only the victims get to be "unwell" while the preparators get to be demons with grand intention.

It's good to be a mental awareness advocate, but that doesn't equal enabling

I pity her and the turmoil and pain she causes herself first and foremost (i truly think she'll self sabotage and cheat on him thinking hr alr did that only to realize she became the one thing she's been so scared of), but I genuinely feel uncomfortable reading this and reading the slow descent into greater depths of derangement. Idk it's not that I'm not empathizing. Having BPD makes me all too aware of fear of abandonment and going through extreme lengths like that, but something about HER and her thought process just makes me dislike her.

    Zhenzhu January 21, 2025 6:12 pm

    I guess because rather than internalizing that fear and panic, directing it mostly towards herself (which would make it more self destructive) she's externalizing it by demonizing her bf.. IDK something about the way she rationalizes her thoughts makes me angry

    Zhenzhu January 21, 2025 6:14 pm

    Not that I'm saying she should internalize it or shouldn't externalize it, I'm just trying to figure out which aspect of her unwellness makes me uneasy because the concept of jealousy and fear of abandonment and self-sabotaging and insecurity isn't exactly a novel idea and isn't one that deters me from enjoyment. It's just this specific girl for some reason.

Zhenzhu January 18, 2025 8:20 am

Good thing she didn't end up with Joseph

Now he's free for me to have ^^

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