Whatttttt the heck JUWON!!!!!(╯°Д °)╯╧╧
Also, completely irrelevant but I relate a lot to Juwon.
I had a crush (everyone thought we were already dating) and well, sometime after I told my friend about it, she also admitted that she had it for the same guy. So I took some time and told her that she can go for it because I lost my feelings even when I didn't.
I felt that I didn't have a chance to begin with and I shouldn't stop if someone is willing to.
So I found out that they started dating and my feelings really did die after that.
Juwon is in a similar situation but I guess, he should not distance himself and end up regretting it the way I did.
It's normal to cry when you have pent up stress and cannot vent it out otherwise.
I often find myself in situations I'm too scared to share which are stressful and require the remedy of change in behaviour. For example, on my eighteenth birthday, some guy shoved his knee between my legs while we all were standing in a packed crowd during graduation photograph. I never knew who did it and I never defended myself. This made me very stressed, because I couldn't stand for myself when I should've. There have been endless times when random strangers had made obscene expressions at me ever since I was 10 years old! I'm a very austere person and always have been. But I never shared this with anyone I know. And here I am finally venting it out when I know none of you will be reading this.
I used to cry at times remembering this. And it did help reduce my stress.
Guess I am okay.
I'm 18 years and 7 months old.
Taciturn and secretive.
Sorta got bullied by 4 guys I rejected. Within the span of 6 months of a very important year I needed to ace.
Told my bestie about it and she ratted me out and left me in even bigger trouble.
I had one person to vent it out to but he got himself a girlfriend and got really busy.
Nobody to share now.
All in all I'd just advise not to internalize it but kinda make productive peace with it. Bottling had a terrible effect on me but now I can face a lot of things with a somewhat normal reaction. Not a great intro to adulthood for you but you sound like you can handle it If need be, vent it out in a journal, on a forum, or any activity you like. Eventually the process makes you an advocate for the future. ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ I send you good growth vibes. Your choice can increase ya!
Is so hot(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ