SabishiinaQ's feed

SabishiinaQ created a topic of Missing Pepper Case

Ehh they're both kinda jerks. To be fair, the mc is likely sleep deprived but it's not like he's tried to confront his neighbor in an assertive or diplomatic way about being unable to sleep.

Also doesn't seem like he's tried any solutions (ear plugs, white noise app, etc.).

The influencer didn't handle the eventually confrontation well, but it's pretty common for people who are caught off guard by sudden, unexpected criticism to get defensive and/or to not be receptive.

When you're neighbors, especially if one or both parties knows where the other works, the best approach is typically going to be to ask your neighbor to meet to discuss the specific topic at a near point in the future that works for them.

For example, you can leave a note on their door (in an envelope so any other nosy neighbors don't see) that says something like, "Good morning! This is x from next door. If you have time this week, I'd really appreciate if we could briefly chat about a personal matter that's negatively affecting my ability to get adequate sleep. Below is a list of times that work for me. Please let me know if you'd be open to getting coffee or something (my treat), or if you'd at least be willing to chat with me for 5 minutes between both our homes/apartments. Your help would mean the world to me, thank you!"

Giving them a little bit of a heads up provides a chance for them to consider both sides and prepare a proper response instead of just getting defensive or feeling attacked.


Some studies have shown that many people are more likely to develop fondness for others who have come to them directly for help (but that may be more of an "in the workplace" type of rule rather than at home/neighbors.

Lastly, when confronting someone about a specific behavior/issue, assertive communication courses will typically teach the following narrative format:

"When you [do X behavior],
I [feel Y emotion / am impacted in Y way], and
what would help is if you would [do Z behavior]."

For example:

"When you [get rowdy with noisy partners every night], I [have a hard time sleeping/focusing/etc.] and what would help is if you could let your partners know the walls are paper thin at least on xxx days so I can at least get a full night's sleep before my hardest work shift."

But ultimately, you can't control the behavior of others so an optimal resolution would be one that you find for yourself (e.g., ear plugs, etc.).