So I'm the same person who put up the online love questions.
And here I am...idk if it is appropriate to talk about what I've gone through, but I just need to get if off and need some answers.
(EVERYTHING HAPPENED IN TEXTS)
-I've loved this person whom I met in discord.
-I can vouch that this person let's call "X" was genuine, didn't lie about age/origin/gender/etc.
(Exuding the white lies)
--Trust me, I can filter out people who are genuine or not esp in online platforms, and then X was someone I could trust right at an instant.
-I also don't fall in love easily, infact I was so done with love. But idk what came over me.
-and yes I have a real life and I'm not much into social meds.
---But just when I decide to try out discord this had to happen.
-We met through a mutual friend, X DM me first, after much consultation with that mutual friend (that's what X told me, since X isn't the type to DM first)
-We seemed to share the same likings and maybe even our personalities were a bit similar.
-everything was going well, our feelings were mutual. We started dating.
-i warned X before hand that I am serious about us. That one day I'd actually fly over or X could...that I'm the kind of person who can commit n more..
-X said X is serious too.
-I believed in our relationship. I believed X. I believed we wanted the same thing. I gave my all. But then I think I got a bit extreme. I think I believed X a bit too much. I think I started planning for the future. I think I was insanely in love with X.
-I started talking about real stuffs with X, I shared X about how my real days went by, X did too.
-But sometimes it felt like.. when a tiny bit of problem arised, X just don't want to deal with it. It felt like X only wanted happy moments. It felt like X only wanted to play house with me.
-let me tell something about X.
-i noticed that X was online 24*7 except the sleep, it seemed like X didn't had much to do irl. while I'm with X just for a few hours, at the end of the day before getting my sleep.
-oh and we were continents apart, but it didn't mattered to me.
So
-X was a bit more shy than the usual human, and X doesn't talk much, X finds it hard to come up with something to talk about, X finds it hards to continue a conversation, this was the tiny problem that came between us. But it was never a big issue for me. I understood.
-understood and understood....until...sometimes I couldn't take it... But we never had any major arguments because of it.
-X started feeling burdened b'cus of it.
-X started feeling X wasn't good enough for me, (that X told me)
-X wouldn't express wholeheartedly what X is going through, but I understood.
-X suddenly decided to call it off. It was abrupt, right in the middle of a normal conversation.
-i think X felt too burdened because if the whole not being able to have a proper conversation with me, since talking is hard for X, since...X thinks I'm always upset because of X,
Before I could even assure X of how that's not it, X just decided to call it off. Like X never needed to ask me first, but just decided on X's own what was good for us and what is not..ughh.
One last question I asked was if X ever honestly felt anything for me, X replied "X feels alot for me" but it's just not working out like X thought it will.
-i went numb.
-all what X said now meant nothing, while i meant all that I've told X.
-i couldn't process anything ATM
-i couldn't even begged him, my subconscious mind did not even begged X to give it a chance, maybe I knew it will never worked out.
-we voiced chated for the last time, I sobbed and sobbed but didn't begged or cuss or..
-i just let X go..
-i just wished the best for X, tho it pains me so much.
-i bid X farewell with a warm bittersweet long text, and for the last time.i could see X's status as "...in Spain but without the S" (like wth...you brought the PAIN urself..)
-i deleted my discord account.
-im trying to move on..
- I still have so many questions that I want to ask X, but that won't change anything.
---So this is it.
----idk if anything is making sense.
---But can anyone get anything from this story and come up with some theories...
..like was anything worth it??
..Did X ever even liked me??
..Do you guys think I was really in love with X??
..is it okay that I let X go without asking for a second chance?
...was X reason even reasonable??? And genuine???
(I just had a second thought of not posting this, but since I came this far...yea let it be...
AND also...am I normal??? Like...who falls in love online...??...uggh..like wth came over me..
Also I'm an adult...like 24ish.. and yes X was younger than...me.. like...way younger, my age was the only thing I lied about to X, since yea..I never act my age..
Ahshsjskskskalalal)))
