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So i stopped reading this.. from that part where Jun and Kangjin was supposed to run away.. because i cant anymore (/TДT)/ i was so scared and everytime i read further, it was like going through a thriller ride i was holding my breath and i was barely breathing even.. i was so focused reading like i was there in person witnessing every happening so the feelings i was getting was so raw.. like it was real i was so scared ╥﹏╥ i really really really fvcking love Chisoo. Fvck. I love him im so mad.. but everthing around everybody was so messed up.. the drugs, the people, the sleeping around to replace every body's ex.. it was chaotic.. its crazy
I finally had the courage to read again coz i see that its ended.. and fvcking damn it. I still fvcking love Chisoo so much it fvcking hurts so bad im so mad and im so sad.. fvck. I have anxiety and depression and trust issues.. and this did not help at all. Fvck. The ending was such a pathethic attempt for a happy ending after all the tragedy we went through.. but i get it.. somebody at least had to be paired up.. but what about Chisoo??
Kangjin and Chisoo had a very beautiful thing going on already.. Chisoo is dangerous, yes. Kangjin has every right to be lonely when left alone.. fine. But Jun. Wtf? I mean i get it.. your life was fvcking hell.. i know.. i really really know.. its been hard, so difficult.. i know you wanna be happy.. but why did u have to squeeze between them? Why cant u just find happiness somewhere else? Like, just find happiness with Roah.. he needs it too coz he's living in hell with with you.. why did things had to be so complicated that things had to be so messed up.. that u guys had to court death so many fvcking times? Let the "ex" be the "ex". So what if they're with a dangerous man? Chisoo never hurt Kangjin.. Kangjin loves Chisoo.. they were finding happiness in their own ways
Imagine if Jun and Kangjin didnt get involved w each other again.. Kangjin prolly wont get stabbed, he's caged at home alone.. Jun wont be abducted and beaten almost to death.. Roah prolly wont be overdosed with drugs.. like guys (/TДT)/ i know life wasnt the best for everyone.. but it would not have been worst had everybody just stopped at wherever they were.. but yeah.. i know that if they didnt get involved with everybody else, they wouldnt be getting that "real" freedom at the end.. but its still fvcking bad because what about Chisoo? ┗( T﹏T )┛
Everyone was free and moving on in their own ways.. but what about Chisoo? He was already there.. he was trying to be human.. he was asking to be one.. at least before, Kangjin was there for him.. but what about now? Fvck. Chisoo.. i would never care if u kill people for a living.. if u do bad things.. if u keep me locked up at home.. if u leave me for a long while coz of work.. as long as ur kind to me.. and u feel a little bit of love for me.. as long as i make u happy when u come home.. i wont even care if u had to fvck around.. or if u have other women or men.. as long as u need me.. as long as u come home to me.. i will be with u until the day i fvcking die.. if u ask me to be in hell with u after we die..fvck, i'd be there.
If they didnt make Chisoo someone so redeemable.. i wouldnt feel so depressed like this. If u make a villain, make them with no redeemable traits AT.ALL! I finally understand why there was a Harley for Joker (/TДT)/ why villains had some other villains as sidekicks.. there has to be someone for somebody.. otherwise it would just be so sad.. fvck.. take my heart Chisoo ╥﹏╥