[Apologies for the long post. Please ignore it. This is just me keeping record of what I read & felt] I have lost count of exactly how many times my heart DIED while reading this creation of Kyuugou. It was excruciatingly intense & rich with dark, distorted emotions. The whole ambiance of this manga - every panel, every strand of hair, each glance, even simply the wind blowing was enough to make me shiver with fear & anticipation. I kept staring at some pages for more than a minute. I thought, if I don't watch them closely & carefully I'll miss something really important. Everything....and I mean E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G in this story from the start to the last line of last chapter gripped & gnawed at my heart.
I have been wracking my brains after finishing it, exactly which brother was more pitiful and here I am sitting in front of my laptop....staring at the wall, for god knows how long. It felt like they were twin brothers cursed by the destiny itself and Kei's words kept ringing in my ears, "why do you think we came into this world separately?" No matter how much I think about, I can't find/imagine a way for Kei's salvation from his path of self-destruction neither could I bring myself to blame Roku for anything.
Among all the incest mangas & other thought provoking, emotionally disturbing psychological mangas I have read so far, Kyuugou crushed it. It's not like she used some complicated difficult words or dramatic scenes. With simple words, simple lines, simple scenes.....she pulled me into her world! As if everything was happening in front of my very eyes in slow motion holographic images & I can do nothing about it but to see them getting shattered & destroyed by their uncontrollable overwhelming emotions. The eeriness of every scene got under my skin & made me recoil with horror & suspense. Still, I couldn't stop myself from getting swept away with each chapter. It's no wonder she dropped it. I mean, I feel like this just after reading it, so I could not possibly imagine what she must have felt while writing those 9 chapters thick with mind-crippling emotions.
Despite feeling compassionate for her I would still pray & hope that Kyuugou sensei would pick it up again one day & write it till the end. Not just because it's a Masterpiece but because I have come to deeply love & care for those miserable characters. And I don't want them to be stuck in a time hole for eternity without a definite closure.
2015-12-31 05:14 marked
The word "Heartache" is not enough.