Ereka's Topics (66)

I'm glad I found this gem. Loved the pacing and kakeru's monologues were very well written. He seemed so real to me. It made me cry so much. Another thing I liked about this one is the fact that ryo was straight and didnt become gay all of a sudden. Ryo was a good character and a good friend. I enjoyed yudai's sexuality discovery tho. How he wanted to protect ryo so much but then he realised he can't, because ryo is not a kid anymore and the fact that there is zero chance of Ryo loving him back the way he wanted him to. Kakeru is the type of person who doesn't want to burden anyone and takes responsibility for everything even when he is not at fault. He never had someone he could talk to about his feelings. Yudai and ryo were good friends. Thae fact that yudai was genuinely interested in kakeru's painting was so sweet. At first I thought he is just faking it. I'm glad I was wrong about him.
I hope yudai and kakeru will keep each other safe from those who bad mouth them and do not approve of their relationship. My boys deserve so much better. (=・ω・=)

I loved the fact that hiiragi took a day off and figured out his feeling toward Shizu and Yuki. I had never failed to notice the fact that whenever yuki was described as perfect and untouchable, it was always from hiiragi's point of view. Whenever hiiragi is the narrator, we get Yuki's pictures with a sparkling filter on. But, it was a beautiful thing that in this chapter hiiragi figured out how yuki was just like him. Simply a human with all kinds of emotions and feelings.
It took hiiragi such a long time to realise that he is in love with shizu. When little hiiragi saw mafuyu and yuki getting closer and closer, he tried to be a part of their world. In the flashbacks, yuki and mafuyu were always together and hiiragi is always seen yelling trying to get their attention. But at some point, I think, he thought that he was not needed in yukimafuyu's world. It was the image of first love hiiragi and shizu both saw. All this time, hiiragi had been watching mafuyu and yuki being in love and thinking how perfect they looked because yuki and mafuyu's transition from friends to lovers was very natural, they didn't even have to ask each other out .( I don't remember correctly, but it was in the last EP or maybe OVA of given anime). They were mutually in love and that's what hiiragi thought as an ideal type of relationship. Like being made for one another. He saw how mafuyu and yuki were happy in their own world. That impression of first love was what he thought as "perfect first love". That is why he thought he can only be a "spectator". That panel of yuki twirling mafuyu on the stage and hiiragi sitting in the audience perfectly sums up hiiragi's thoughts about mafuyuki, his idea of "perfect love" and him being the spectator. All this time, hiiragi had been chasing the idea of love, instead of actually doing it. He was looking for "the love" that mafuyu and yuki shared. That is why he failed to see shizu who had always been there for him , even when it was about watching mafuyu and yuki on stage, he is there beside him even tho he doesn't look very impressed/interested. Hiiragi was chasing the idea of love while shizu actually wanted to be with hiiragi.
When we see the kindergarten teacher introducing shizu to the kids, shizu is wearing a poker face. But then there is this kid who talks a lot and tries to befriend him.To little shizu, who had seen nothing but an awful life as a foster child, hiiragi is like a light in his dark world.That is why he had been cherishing him like a treasure. Shizu beautifully describes hiiragi as a "glittering pebble that he had tucked in a sandbox". But then shizu sees how mafuyu and yuki are in love and how hiiragi is always watching them, he realises how he can never have hiiragi for himself. Shizu thinks it is selfish of him to want hiiragi all for himself and he thinks he is an "asshole" for feeling that way about him..To him, it seemed completely different from yuki and mafuyu's love. That is why he tells mafuyu,"You have it good,huh?.....". Hiiragi admits that it's not shizu's fault if he thinks he was in love with yuki. Shizu asking him if he can actually do something with him to confirm hiiragi's feelings, even when he knows that he is crying, was his Own way of protecting himself from further getting hurt.
As we can see, hiiragi's eyes are fixated on mafuyu and yuki even when they are eating bento. But shizu is trying to get hiiragi's attention by stealing his food. So sweet.
Hiiragi always saw yuki like that, that's why he couldn't understand him. Uenoyama could complete Yuki's song because it was written by someone who was in love with mafuyu. That's is why uenoyama could understand what yuki wanted to convey. Hiiragi realised that the love yuki felt for mafuyu, or what uenoyama feels for mafuyu is not a superficial love, but simple, genuine and ordinary love.That ordinary yet special feeling. The exact same he feels about shizu.
I think the panel of hiiragi walking on a guardrail "that winter", the season of Yuki's death, he was overwhelmed by the blazing sun and was going to cross the line between life and death just like yuki did, but shizu saved him by calling his name.
Shizu looks so lonely when he calls hiiragi's name like that. If hiiragi had actually done that, there would've been nothing for shizu to look foreword to in his life.
It saddens me how no one was there for yuki, when he tried to cross that line. He fought with mafuyu, they didn't go to the same school. His friend, hiiragi who failed to see him as a human and instead put him on a pedestal.I wonder why there isn't a single interaction between shizu and yuki. Were they really close friends or just friends by association? The only person who could truly understand yuki is uenoyama, even tho he doesn't know much about him. I wonder if yuki was alive, yuki and UE could've become good friends.
I think the last page where shizu is helping hiiragi down the stage is him, trying to take hiiragi out of his imaginary world where he was a mere spectator watching someone else's love. Shizu is helping him get back to reality.

Why do we have to hate the characters? Ofc you can dislike someone but why the hate? Why not try to understand why a certain character acted the way he did? In given, no one is perfect. And there is no perfect relationship. Even the seemingly perfect Mafuyu and yuki were not perfect. Instead of focusing on how Akihiko and ugetsu got out of their relationship, the fans are arguing about who among them was more toxic? Is there really any point in it?
Ugetsu let go of Akihiko when he realised that they are just making each other suffer. Getting out of a toxic relationship is not as easy as it might seem. There is no justification of an sexual assault, but shouldn't we appreciate the fact that before asking Haruki out he tried to become a better person and asked him if he can touch him. From that assault till the confession, Akihiko never touched him. Most importantly he is aware that what he did was extremely wrong. There are thousands of yaoi in which the seme rapes the uke repeatedly and doesn't feel any remorse, and it is depicted as a completely normal thing.
There is only one life we know of, so why not correct our mistakes? Why do we have to constantly remind someone who is trying his best to become a good person about how much of an asshole he WAS? why not focus on the present? Would you keep hating someone for the one bad thing he had done in the past and ignore all the good things he has done in his life?Remember, when Ritsuka was confused about liking a person of same sex and who did he confide in? In the recent chapters, Mafuyu is feeling isolated, so he goes to Akihiko to talk about his feelings? I absolutely love the bond between Akihiko and mafuyu? He is like a big brother to both UE and Mafuyu.
Would you want Akihiko to not feel any remorse and keep assaulting haruki? Or the Akihiko, who did his best to become a good person. Look at his genuine expressions when he confessed to haruki. I cried so much at that scene while watching the movie.

Kizu sensei had outdone herself by showing the raw feeling of first love between Akihiko and Ugetsu and how with time it became toxic. They still loved each other but in a really unhealthy way. It had to end. Ugetsu acknowledged Haruki's presence in Aki's life, and realised that it was time to let go of Akihiko. I still remember how much I cried when I saw Ugetsu's crying face. But even after everything is gone, Ugetsu wanted Music to remain because he couldn't love anyone more than MUSIC. I find Yuki and Ugetsu a lot similar in this regard. Both Ugetsu and Akihiko found their happiness by putting an end to their suffering. It was hard for both of them to let go of each other, but now both are happy with their lives. Akihiko is happy having Haruki by his side and Ugetsu is also happy with his music. Ugetsu's dark room depicts his severe depression. But if you have read Ugetsu's "Eve Of Emergence", you"ll get to see how his apartment was filled with sunlight which signifies the fact that he is happy.

Love this manga so much. Honestly I love Alpha x Beta. Sadly there aren't many omegaverse with alpha beta pairing. But this manga will always have a special place in my heart. ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

This chapter was beautiful and painful at the same time. All this time, shizu had been silently watching hiiragi, but never pushed him for anything. To shizu, hiiragi is like a glittering pebble that he had tucked in a sandbox. He had been cherishing hiiragi all his life. He finally said something which had been on his mind for years. He has watched hiiragi looking at yuki and mafuyu and thinks that he was in love with yuki too. Shizu is so convinced that hiiragi was in love with yuuki, that even when hiiragi told him he loves shizu, he didn't believe him. If you see things from shizu's perspective, it feels like you're watching the one you love watching, admiring someone else. Even though, he thinks that it is an unrequited love, he left his handball club just to be there for hiiragi. He is wiling to throw away his whole life even though he is sure that it is going to be a lifelong struggle. Without being in a romantic relationship, shizuragi is so intimate with each other like how Hiiragi slept so close to him when he was crying because he couldn't find mafuyu, and when he met and properly talked to mafuyu after a long time, he went back to shizu and slept using shizu's chest as a pillow. All this time, shizu never took advantage of hiiragi's vulnerability. He showed him kindness and was always there for him without asking anything in return. He never had any intention to confess to hiiragi. He would've cherished him all his life. And if shizu hadn't asked hiiragi about his feeling for yuuki and said those harsh words, Hiiragi would not have confessed either.
We all know that hiiragi's feeing are genuine, but shizu doesn't. So from his POV, hiiragi's confession seemed abrupt and not genuine. Like it could be seen as a way to avoid exactly what you don't want to talk about. for example - Hiiragi answered shizu's questions by asking shizu a question in return-- Like this...
Shizu: "you seemed like you were having so much fun ever since yuuki invited you to join the band "
Hiiragi: "shizu, you were having fun too".
Shizu: "you were in love with yuki, weren't you?"
Hiiragi: "I'm in love with you though!?".
There is no way his confession would reach shizu who thinks there is no way someone would ever love him.
Further, shizu tried to test hiiragi's feelings by trying to kiss him, but he gave importance to hiiragi's feelings who was so not ready for the kiss, so he never closed the last inch between them. The real reason as to why hiiragi was not ready for the kiss was because everything that happened that day was unexpected. It was too much for him. But it must've hurt shizu so much. Hiiragi would have let shizu kiss him, but shizu would never take advantage of hiiragi because he will "do whatever hiiragi wants,", that is why he told hiiragi to" think it thorough".
It's painful to see Hiiragi crying but it's even more painful to see shizu not showing any expressions on his face. he is hurt too, but he can't express himself. He hurt the most precious person in his life. All his life, he had no one to rely on, not parents, not friends. That could be the reason why he answered hiiragi with just "is that so" or "I see", cause he never experienced being loved by someone.
But he didn't make light of hiiragi's confession, he kneeled down in front of him and asked him what he does he want? Because he will do whatever hiiragi wishes. Even though he spoke such harsh words, his gestures are so gentle. He left hiiragi crying like this for the first time in his life, because he can't help hiiragi with sorting out his feelings. It might have hurt shizu so much to leave hiiragi like that. But it was necessary, now that hiiragi is alone, he is thinking about his feelings toward yuuki and shizusumi.
I felt bad for hiiragi too, he finally confessed his feelings , but shizu didn't react to his confession. It was like he was rejected, because he always thought that shizu is no---t interested in him.
I love how shizu asks what hiiragi wants to do but he is already holding hiiragi's hands even before hiiragi said it in his mind, it just shows how much shizu knows hiiragi. Also, shizu told him the difference between deep platonic love and romantic/sexual love.
By saying, " loving someone also means putting it in", he isn't saying that they need to have sex to be in love with each other, But that there is a difference between deep friendship and romantic love and wanting to be with a best friend and spending your life with a romantic partner. If hiiragi wants to keep the boundary between them shizu will silently comply.
In the end hiiragi says "is shizusumi really this kind of guy?". I'm not sure but I think shizu always shows his best side to hiiragi. He might not be a kind person, but he is kind when it comes to hiiragi. We've seen him interacting with mafuyu, and shizu seemed a little intimidating.
Hiiragi is the only one of the four who has both parents. But I think he was a neglected child.That would explain his bratty and attention seeking personality. He always asks shizu to " show a little interest in him". Always acting like he is so mature in front of others and abruptly breaking down in front of shizu. In the flashbacks when they were kids, it was always like how mafuyuki were always together, and hiiragi always complaining because he'd felt left out. But when he would end up together with shizu, he might've started showing his vulnerable side to shizu. That's how shizu became hiiragi's babysitter.
Shizu and Hiiragi deserves so much love.Hiiragi is so cute like a cat. Shizu, in my opinion, is so mature for his age. I love him so much.
There are many things hiiragi has to think about without shizu being by his side, like his feelings toward yuki and shizu. And most importantly, it seems like he didn't get time to properly mourn his friend's death, because after yuki died, he lost mafuyu too. Instead of mourning his friend's death, he was looking for mafuyu cause he was so worried about mafuyu.

I understand how many of you want uenoyama x mafuyu development, but you need to understand that they have not been together for so long and there are many thing they don't know about each other. And i hope yall won't hate Yuki for that.
Yuki and mafuyu were best friends for years. Mafuyu needs more time to move on. Given is not your typical romance it breaks all those common tropes of shoujo and yaoi like- how your first love is always going to be your last love, and how they show all the struggles before entering the relationship and once they do, it's the so-called "happy end". But in reality it is the start . You have to do your best to understand your partner because a person is a complex human being which is hard to understand.
Given highlights many problems in a relationship and we get to see how the characters deal with those problems. If mafuyu and uenoyama were to become a couple with no problems this quickly, won't it defeat the very purpose of this manga? And falling in love doesn't magically heal you. In order to understand and love another person, you have to understand yourself first.

The way i see it, it's mostly about mafuyu's character growth. Before, he couldn't
express himself well. But then he found his voice through music. He will slowly learn to express himself. Give him time.
When yuki was by his side, he didn't have to express himself because they were like perfect halves of one person. Yuki had expressive personality. After Yuki's death, he had lost his 'voice'. But on that fateful day, he met Uenoyama who helped him fix his guitar and he found his voice through music. In my opinion, for mafuyu, uenoyama is not a replacement for yuki. When Mafuyu sang and cried on the stage for the first time after losing yuki, during the performance he looked at a smiling uenoyama and realised that he is in love with him and how he wanted to tell yuki that he is in love with someone else now and that he missed him so much.
Now that Mafuyu has Ritsuka, a loving boyfriend, Hiiragi and Shizu, his childhood friends and Akihiko who is such a good senior by his side, he will surely overcome his fears.It's going to be worth the wait.

Asahi and masato's relationship warms my heart. I want to protect masato so much. I don't know how many times I've said it but this is one of the best yaoi mangas ever written.

I just realized it is not the author's intention to tell us how perfect yuki and mafuyu were for each other. But it is shizu and hiiragi who see mafuyuki as perfect, because they also wanted to have that kind of relationship with each other.
We learned from hiiragi's point of view that yuki and mafuyu completed each other and, shizu while talking to mafuyu in 柊mix_4 also says that yuki and mafuyu gave the impression that they were made for each other. And hence, to obtain what he desires he can't be bothered to care about 'appearances'. Poor shizu.
Because mafuyuki gave the impression that they were made for each other shizu and hiiragi think of themselves as inferior compared to mafuyu and yuki. But the truth is mafuyu and yuki were just like any ordinary couple they loved each other, and also fought like every other couple, said hurtful words to vent their anger on each other.
I know there are many who love Yuki, I also loved him when I watched the anime and also cried so much when they showed flashbacks of him and mafuyu when they were kids . On the other hand there are those who do not like yuki.As the story progressed, i'm not sure what to think of him because we know very little about him. I think in hiiragi and shizusumi's story we will get to know more about him.
Uenoyama is best boyfriend anyone can have because he is patient and kind.I think Mafuyama will take the longest to develop since there are many issues they have to overcome for example, mafuyu is afraid of getting left behind again, but does nothing to prevent it from happening, like making the same mistake. Instead of telling his friends and boyfriend about how he feels, he is avoiding them. It is understandable since he lost his best friend. Also, mafuyu is not good at expressing himself. So it'll take time for him. I hope he'll overcome his fears.
There are many things that I would love to get to know about. Like hiiragi wanted to be forgiven because he knew everything but didn't say anything even when his friends started dating. But when he saw yuki and mafuyu kissing, he was shocked ofc but why did yuki glare at him like signaling him to "forget what he saw" or something like that. Also, shizusumi who has been watching hiiragi for years thinks that hiiragi loved yuki. We know that hiiragi loves shizu from 柊_mix3, but how could shizu not notice hiiragi staring at him or blushing whenever shizu ruffled his hair. Shizu doesn't strike me as dumb. It feels like he understands hiiragi more that anyone else, even hiiragi himself. So why would he think that hiiragi was in love with yuki ? Did yuki ever notice that? Could it be hiiragi fell in love with shizu after yuki died? If that's the case, it's not shizu's fault if he thinks hiiragi sees him as a replacement. But, I hope that's not the case.
To me it looks like hiiragi admired yuki and wanted to be like him and shizu also admitted while talking to mafuyu that he's not sure what kind of love was that.
More importantly, why does it look like shizu was friends with yuki only because of hiiragi.He also mentioned that it is irritating how everyone loves yuki. More than anything he is jealous because hiiragi is also the part of "everyone" who love yuki. I also want to know more about hiiragi, shizu and Yuki's past.

And I can't be more happier for Akihiko who looks like he is really happy with haruki.
And I hope ugetsu is doing well too.
The first two volumes were Uenoyama x mafuyu
third and fourth volumes were Akihiko x haruki
And next two volume are going to be shizusumi x hiiragi
I wonder who we'll get next. Im hoping for Ueki x itaya (uenoyama's friends) or ugetsu and his boyfriend if he has one.
I love how this manga focuses on various problems in a relationship which rarely get adressed in a romance genre and we get to see how the characters overcome them.
Just hope everything goes well for shizuragi because if not I'm gonna take shizu for myself. Shizu is my ideal type of guy . ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Minaduki Yuu is truly an exceptional artist her stories are full of deep feels. More importantly the relationships she portrays are realistic and beautiful.I love "Adults doing reasonable things with each other" ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

"I didn't embrace you as a replacement for women" -Asahi
Something like this is rarely seen in typical yaoi. I loved this couple so much.
And I need Marie in my life.