Yeahh that's true,when your life is so pitiful,you wanna make the others be the same like you but you cant and it hurts when you wonder "why cant i be happy like them?"... And finally when you get happiness,you'll get scared because it's smtg thats unusual for you and you'll try your best to get rid of it.
I cant believe i just read all of the chapters in few hours without stopping,I'd never done that before cuz usually I'll get bored, but damnn this is one hell of a yaoi (σ≧▽≦)σ