991847466015

clearly this isnt fluff. CAESAR, PLEASE GET PROFESSIONAL HELP, BUT THIS TIME WE NEED YOU STRAPPED DOWN BEHIND THREE LAYERS OF LOCKS OR SOME SHIT. AND WE NEED YOU DRUGGED OUTTA YOU MIND SO YOU DONT TRY TO KILL THE PSYCHOLOGIST + THERE HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF TRUTH SERUM BECAUSE THERES SO FUCKING WAY YOURE GOING TO BE VULNERABLE WITH SOME RANDOM THERAPIST. ESPECIALLY WHEN UR SO FUCKING CAUTIOUS ABOUT EVERYONE BECAUSE YOU ARE A MAFIA BOSS AND BASICALLY EVERYONE IS OUT TO KILL YOU AND CONNECTIONS OR SOMETHING. IDK MAN, IM NOT IN THE MAFIA, BUT GOD HES TERRIFYING. PLEASE GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. BUT LIKE. UM. IDK IF THE PROFESSIONAL HELP WILL SURVIVE YKNOW. TRY AT YOUR OWN RISK (therapist, psychiatrist and his whole treatment team is getting jumped and wiped off the face of this earth, god help leewon cuz aint nobody in the story can save him. not even his dad bro. I CANT EVEN PRAY FOR UR SAFE RETURN BECAUSE THERES NO WAY YOURE COMING OUT OF THIS SAFELY BUT UM. I CAN PRAY FOR THE LESS WORSE THING TO HAPPEN ON YOU, THAT MAYBE HE GOES EASY ON YOU IF YOU BEG ENOUGH UM. OR UH. IDK MAN. HES A PSYCHOPATH. I DONT MEAN TO VICTIM BLAME (GENUINE) BUT YOU CHOSE (debatable, i dont remember enough abt their interations and how they got together to really be sure abt that. maybe he was in a position where he couldnt say no, where in that case. um. good luck in your next life cuz you sure didnt have any on this turn) TO DATE A MAFIA BOSS. but also i think he might be the only person that WOULD date this psychopath and MAYBE make a little change in him (yknow like a little friendly compromise, but compromise isnt really caesars style. FUCK BRO, JUST SIT DOWN WITH EACH OTHER AND COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR WORDS. I MEAN SURE ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS BUT PLEASE BRO. UR GONNA PUSH UR BOYFRIEND FARTHER AWAY. PLUS YOU DONT HAVE TO GO TO THESE EXTREMES. PLEASE BRO. THERAPY. RECOVERY. MEDS. SOMETHING BRO. anyway. i love yelling at mentall ill characters (to get help), it heals something inside of me

really bad meaning the unsavory rape, adult x minor, and a lot of uncomfortable stuff just for the sake of shock value or god forbid, just for the enjoyment of it.
while really good meaning it could be a story that provides a lot of nuance and digs deep into the complex emotions that comes along with a situation like this (eg teacher trying to help a student but being insanely real about how fucked the kids situation is and what someone in his position would do)

i lean more towards the hope that this will be really good (without fetishizing all that). because of a variety of reason
1. the atmosphere is so well established, like holy fucking shit. you cant fucking tell me you didnt feel the tension.
2. maybe the author is taking longer to finished this piece because theyre not sure how to go about navigating such dark themes like this one (especially when it involves minors).
3. a lot of character building (idk if thats the right term), we can clearly see theres a lot of backstory to each of the characters based on their conversations/interaction with others, pieces of memories.
4. the art is js really good and even tho im not well versed in panelling (i think thats the term, idk, maybe im just making shit up). IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BECAUSE I DONT HAVE TO VOCABULARY FOR IT, BUT LIKE THE WAY THE AUTHOR PLACES THE PANELS AND ORDERS THEM AND LIKE. ITS SO COOL MAN, I WANNA MAKE MANGA LIKE THAT. THE AUTHOR COULD HAVE EASILY JUST CUT DOWN AN ONE MINUTE SCENE TO TWO PANELS BUT THEY WERE ABLE TO MAKE IT TWO PAGES LONG (i think, im just pulling shit outta my ass, maybe it was four pages) WITH THE SUBTLE EXPRESSION AND THE MYSTERY TO IT ALL.
5. the characters facial expression being hidden (like we can only speculate what kind of face he was making, like BOOM. MAGNIFICENT STORY TELLING. IT MAKES US WANT TO KNOW MORE, IT MAKES US QUESTION AND WONDER. LIKE BRO.)

listing things abt the student then adding speculations
- history of cutting, he seems to be aware of the degree of damage certain afflictions. as in his journal he notes that "maybe it damaged my muscles, the way it aches"
HOWEVER, he clearly shows little care for his body. especially in a situation like his where his body is barely his, being passed around and used for what seems like cp is heartbreaking. // and i dont say he has no care for his body, because he does show a bit of concern and 'hope', he hasnt fully given up (eg asking the teacher to not discuss anything they talk about in private, implying hes willing to open up if teacher agrees. he is still looking for human connection or comfort of some sort / which is normal ofc, i wouldnt be surprised if this was a driving force to his participation in um. that. going to older men / others for validation by using his body, etc)
- he clearly doesnt want ot draw attention to himself at school (hence long sleeves and earbuds in + doesnt interact with anyone while also never coming to school), but he does well in class. which im not sure what to make outta it. why doesnt he want to go to school while still having really good grades. maybe it has to do with his last school experience? maybe he was ostracized because his secrets were aired out and going to a school makes him feel sick (cuz shit bro, me too). and/or maybe he sees no value in interaction with kids his age because he already knows hes fucked in teh head and they just wont understand him + he displays self sabotaging behavior within his interpersonal relationships (in the talk with his teacher)
- self sabotaging behavior. speaking from someone who does the same shit [unintentionally, its due to a history of trauma and fucked up relationships with adult figures + others] its a form of defense where he push people away so they dont get too close. like a dog that bites back when its scared.
- hes also very perceptive and picks up on other peoples intentions, thoughts and emotions really well (prob due to hypervigilance that was built into him due to a turbulent childhood. not that there has been any mention of a rough upbringing, but bro. just look at him. NOT TO SAY IT IN A BAD WAY, likt this kid def got abused / had an unstable attachment to his caretakers)
- he also doesnt look well fed, maybe he was neglected / is being neglected because his grandma clearly hates him + didnt ask where he was so late at night (i mean maybe she didnt know / maybe he went out while she was asleep and then came back later, or maybe shes a heartless bitch and doesnt care when or where he comes home from, maybe even hoping that his dead body will be found in ditch somewhere so she could finally be rid of the burden called her grandchild)

speculation
- either hes going out at night to kill the animals or to take up these jobs. i dont believe that corpse found in front of the school was his doing (because that night he was filming.. god i felt sick typing that.)

things i wanna know
- his relationship with his mom, and if he had a dad
//// just looked back on his character intro / sheet thing, ONE OF HIS DISLIKES IS DAD. THATS A MAJOR PLOT POINT FOR SURE. WERE HIS MOM AND DAD SEPERATED, DID HIS DAD KILL HIM MOM, HIS DAD WAS DEF A BAD PERSON THO. NO FUCKING DOUBT ABOUT IT.
- how far does his abuse go, is it straight from childhood? pre-teens? im betting that its been like this his entire life. sorry kid.
- music? maybe its what he finds solitude in.



TEACHER TIME!!!!
i kinda dont wanna talk about him cuz he js. i dont know enough about him to make a judgement on him. like he has good intentions but after seeing those videos of his student, does he still have good intentions or is he going to be another one of those rotten adults and fuck up protags life even more and shatter his trust of adult figures for the rest of his life. a lot of things are up in the air

things i wanna know
- who is that woman to him. how did their relationship end (did she end it, did he/she leave he/she, what happen and how did that impact him), are there possibly loose ends that he hasnt found closure to? what role did he play in this womans life. how did he handle a close one hurting themselves, did he chastise her, did he try to use material goods to make her better, did he turn a blind eye to it? what did he do. and does he have regrets about what he did / what happened
yea thats about it. i dont really wanna know more about the teacher. hes only one of the perspectives we see the story through and if he turns out to be another fuckwad, im going to lose my mind.

STAY SAFE KID. THERES SOMETHING CALLED THERAPY AND MEDS AND KILLING YOUR ABUSERS. SO YEA!!!!

also if anything sounds oddly specific, its because im hard projecting onto these characters + my own history of trauma that led me to these conclusions