this is in no way means im justifying any of heonjaes actions. and i mean it. im just asking you be more empathetic of his circumstances.
idk, i feel emotions deeply and when i see heonjae, i see a child who the world has failed over and over again.
also i think theres a cooldown on how many comment i can see at a time :(
I see all he does as an inability to understand limits. Here clearly had some kind of mental illness and instead of growing up in a positive environment, he grew up without anyone to show him proper social etiquette in even the remotest of senses.
So if her likes something, he goes for it. It he doesn't, he hits it. Because our society, in a global level, would prefer to just throw the whole person away instead of getting them the help they need, these extremes end up in rape and murder, and The repercussions to his lack of knowledge end him up in jail.
What he does is absolutely wrong but unlike Jingi, he isn't doing such with any intent to harm. This is what makes him simultaneously sweet and horrible.
I think I feel the exact same way you do. When Jingi attacks I get angry. When Heonjae attacks, I just feel sad for everyone involved. Jingi ignored “no”. Heonjae doesn't understand it in the same way someone with a normative mind does.
Jingi fails society. Society fails Heonjae.
i feel the same way as you. genuinely
maybe a weird comparison, but he reminds me of the monster in frankenstein a sympathetic character that still does horrific stuff, ruled by emotion, has a grasp on some idea of morality but not a very practical one. i really do feel for him as a character and i know people here knock the plot, but i think his contrast with jingi is such a great device in terms of character
I think that means you're a good and kind person. Even something showing you the absolute worst possible. You can still see the humane emotions and intentions deep inside.
This is all probably the most realistic thing about this story. The face that prisons, and honestly the entirety of all the various Justice systems all, globally, have the same massive flaw.
[accidentally hit send... Which is good cause I /thought/ I hit backspace :S]
[...]: the lack of mental health related rehabilitation and or care.
YESS OMG. YOURE A GENIUS, I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED THAT COMPARISON BUT OMG. OMG. you like genuinely change my brain chemistry with that one
THANK YOU FOR SHARING UR WISDOM WITH ME. (i may be a tad overdramatic, but i mean it in the best way possible. now im gonna go draw heonjae as frankstein for halloween hehe)
Exactly!
i can see why they did the things they did, mentally stunted, abused (bro is in survival mode for literally all of his life), hes def autistic = he doesnt understand why other people do the things they do unless its explicitly stated to him (like if they say "stop" he'll stop but he wont know why and would repeat the same mistake.) lack of education, lack of healthy interpersonal relationships. bro was dealt a bad hand on top of a lot of unfortunate circumstances. maybe in a different life he were more lucky but this one, not so much. 1. developmental disorder 2. abusive family 3. unstable attachment to caregivers / no stable caregivers at all, abusive "caregivers" 4. not being socialized at all at a young age (aka not being taught how go socialize etc), not taught what is right from wrong, etc. BRO JS CAME INTO THIS WORLD DEBUFFED. HE DOESNT HAVE THE OBSERVE AND INFER SKILL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES. AND ON TOP OF THAT HE DIDNT HAVE SOMEONE TO TEACH HIM THAT PBSERVE AND INFER SKILL. AND HE JS GOES ABOUT LIFE LIKE "yea what im doing is completely normal" BECAUSE EAST ASIAN CULTURE, THEY ALWAYS INDIRECTLY SAY NO, LIKE SOMETHING LIKE "sorry im busy", or "oh haha next time", AND AS A NEURODIVERGENT INDIVIDUAL. WE (or some of us) TAKE THIS LITERALY. WE NEED OTHERS TO BE UPFRONT.
like all this could have been prevented if bro had a trusted adult by his side, BUT NO. HE GOT THIS FUCKING CREEP OF A TEACHER. DO U KNOW HOW FUCKED UP HIS VIEW OF ADULTS, HOW TO BUILD A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP AND JS OF LIFE OVERALL IS. like bro didnt have a singluar healthy / "normal" thing in his world. THIS IS HOW THE OPPRESSED KEEP BEING OPPRESSED. BE KIND. BE PATIENT WITH PEOPLE. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THEYRE GOING THROUGH OR WHAT ACCOMADATIONS THEY NEED. YOU NEVER KNOW IF UR KIND AND PATIENT INTERACTION WITH AN ABUSIVE AUTISTIC KID WILL HELP CHANGE THE JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING IN SOMEONES LIFE. but to be realist, he needs intensive therapy. at back then AND now. like i mean bro needs to be on the clock.
itd probably be really hard for him to change all his views now cuz i think hes like almost 30 and by this time people have already formed and solidified their core beliefs and perceptions of life. gonna be pretty hard work for whoevers taking care of him. theyre gonna have him unlearn a lot of bad habits (or if hes unable to, learn how to manage them and keep them to a minimum / outsource his feelings in different, less harmful ways, CUZ CUTTING UP UR LOVED ONES IS NOT. ITS JUST. ITS NOT WHERE ALL THE FIRES AT.) etc etc
coming from someone who had to unlearn lots of unhealthy coping mechanism, harmful core beliefs and mindsets. i was DEFINITELY not at fucked up as heonjae, but yknow. theres always hope. even if youre pushing your 30s.... probably.... WITH A LOT OF HARD WORK AND DEDICATION.
TWINNNNNN YES. THANK YOU FOR SEEUING THE VISION !!!!
rereading all the comments kinda make me sad but idgaf as much anymore.
js gonna throw all my thoughts out there in bullet points and then elaborate.
theres a lot of nuance to these characters (however their backstories arent really looked into outside of the fl so its hard for you to see of it from a surface level type deal).
also i dont remember any of their names so here are the abbreviations:
ml: male lead, blonde pretty you
fl: female lead, blue hair
yul: just yul, black hair obsessive (i only remember his name cuz hes my favorite)
lets talk about yul.
this bitch def got bpd. fl being his fp. like holy. i see a lot of me in him (IM HEALING DONT BASH ME, IM GENUINELY TRYING TO BE A GOOD PERSON, I JS GOT SPITED WITH SEVERAL MENTAL DISORDERS THAT CHANGES THE WAY I PERCIEVE THINGS AND THINK ABOUT THIS, OK? IF U SAW LIFE FROM MY PERSPECTIVE WITH MY THOUGHTS AND MY BRAIN, YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND) so i empathize with him. fear of abandonment, check. just look at the shit he does to keep the ones he cares about close to him. begging in his hands and knees plus clinging onto fl is crazy (yapping as if i havent done the same shit). using manipulative and honestly fucked up ways to keep fl around him, aka avoid any perceived abandonment because in his mind, hes probably like: "if i can make her completely dependent on me, she wont ever be able to leave me" and we've already established that bro does not care about anything outside being by her side. he be crossdressing, taking a whole new identity, stalking her ass, fucking with her relationships, EVERYTHING BRUH. plus he does this thing where he uses leverage against others to get what he wants (aka blackmailing ml with losing his job and reputation, hanging money over his sisters head, doing ballsy shit like threatening fls friend, LIKE WHAAAAAAT
js kill urself over and over again to cause him pain. he made you feel terrible the entire time u were serving him, so a few suicides might do the trick.
i like the concept, i dislike the execution. there could be more depth and complexity built into it (in my humble opinion)
Nahh she’ll either go crazy or he’ll be sick enough to amputate her so she would have the chance to do it anymore
Wouldnt*
HEONJAE I CAN FIX YOU. WITH THE RIGHT SUPPORT YOU CAN BE "FIXED" (aka intense professional help and a restraining order against me and someone who can actually support you and keep your grounded in reality when you jump the gun on things. cuz you a lil dumb, but its cute and adding to that youre a big buff man, that makes you a himbo)
acting like i wasnt just hospitalized twice this year for mania and suicide attempts but like yknow!!!1!1! im MORE sane than him (im not, i dont even know how you measure the sanity of someone / like on the scale of 1-10 how likely are you to commit homocide/suicide lol), i can ABSOLUTELY fix this guy
also im in a better environment AND im properly medicated now so like WOOOOO I WONT BE KILLING MYSELF SOON SO DONT WORRY, I JUST NEED TO GIGGLE GAGGLE ABOUT MY SITUATION CUZ IF I DONT I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA CRY
this is so real!!!!!
ch 20 resonates with me as someone with extremely mixed feelings about someone i both love and hate so much. he has done anything wrong, not in my eyes. but his mere existence makes me miserable. he has brought me so much comfort through the hardest times of my life. but hes a constant reminder that no one has or will ever love me like he did. and i resent him for being someone i love so much but causes me so much pain now. i hate him for isolating me from my loved ones and making me completely dependent on him, even if i did play a part in that isolation. i loved him, i needed him. and sometimes i still feel like i need him. and i dont know what to do about it.
i hate him. but i loved him. and sometimes i still feel like i love him, and i hate the part of me that still yearns for him.