beta
this hits close to home, being in a relationship similar to the one presented in the story. im still grappling with whether or not it was 'love' (however now im sickened by just the words 'i love you' because they sound so insincere. like an excuse for what theyve done, but they tell me they cant live without me and i know for a fact that wasnt a lie.), and i hesitate to call it abuse because i too couldnt live enough him, i was dependent on him and i labelled that as love. im still trying to process everything so i dont have all the answers (and i fucking hate it. i wish i could just make sense of it all and move on. i dont want to think about him anymore and i dont want to feel that way anymore. it makes me feel so sad.)
anything that will pull at my heartstrings and get me intensely emotionally attached to the characters and/or get me really really invested in the plot / character / relationships
BL:
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/never_understand/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/ao_no_flag/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/dark_heaven/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/hikaru_ga_shinda_natsu/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/saye/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/semantic_error/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/king_s_maker/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/banana_fish/
GL:
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/lass_2/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/ring_my_bell/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/opium/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/the_guy_she_was_interested_in_wasn_t_a_guy_at_all/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/relationship_guidelines/
DAMNNNN TY I APPRECIATE IT
TYTYTY
trauma bonding perhaps? definitely trauma bonding. also the uke is fucked in the head, but like me too so i cant really tell u how much of this is normal in a relationship
mfw ive been doomed to seek out toxic relationships that recreate my past trauma / the unhealthy dynamics that have plagued me my whole life. HEALING IS HARD. TRY BEING CONDITIONED TO ASSOCIATE FEAR AND ANXIETY WITH LOVE. TELL ME WHAT THAT DOES TO THAT BRAIN OF URS, CUZ IT SURE FUCKED ME UP.