Dude Min was groomed for three years then abandoned cold turkey by his groomer just for him to show back up in his life. He has every right not to want to talk about that until he’s ready. However although yes, there is nothing wrong with Sijun having a sexually explorative past he didn’t tell Min anything about that, giving the entire pretense of their relationship missing pieces and only told him when he got caught. Min has every right to want and need space and frankly I don’t think either of them are completely in the wrong it’s just weird watching the comments try to compare being groomed to an active choice of lifestyle.
Yeah, I see your point. Neither of them have had a healthy relationship, so they're understandably lost. I just don't see Sijun's sexual history as something at all relevant to their relationship, as opposed to Min's past which is currently affecting their relationship and Sijun has no idea. Of course they're not the same, you're right about that. The way I was looking at it, min is the only one who can see the full picture. So since Sijun has no way of knowing what Min is thinking, he's left to believe that everything is his fault, and Min, having the full picture, let him believe that, and it rubbed me the wrong way.
I probably had an overly emotional reaction to the whole thing, because I've been slut shamed by an ex and it was incredibly hurtful, and because I get massive anxiety about leaving fights unresolved.
Just no. Why is Sijun required to talk about his past by Min isn’t? It’s hypocritical. It’d be one thing if Sijun had lied about it but he didn’t. If sexual history was that important to Min then he should have asked Sijun a long time ago and been more upfront about it. Min is the one purposefully lying about his past.
Just no. Why is Sijun required to talk about his past by Min isn’t? It’s hypocritical. It’d be one thing if Sijun had lied about it but he didn’t. If sexual history was that important to Min then he sho... BlueFairy
It’s different because min shouldn’t have to speak on his abuse that’s his discretion but the context of Sujin purposefully using people for sex and moving on is scary so it makes sense that he would have doubt like that’s kinda a lot put in perspective but the real problem is that he didn’t say anything until he got caught it’s a difference between an active CHOICE Sujin made to use people and Mins past of BEING USED and ABUSED. They are not the same one was sleeping with people then moving on and one was being groomed.
Yeah, I see your point. Neither of them have had a healthy relationship, so they're understandably lost. I just don't see Sijun's sexual history as something at all relevant to their relationship, as opposed to... Bundle Bundle
I’m really sorry to hear about your past and I think your take makes sense this is why I said I don’t think either of them is fully right or wrong the situation is a moral grey scale but it is a very valid point that Sujin can’t grasp the entirety of the situation and I think min should tell them but knowing people who have been abused like that I was not about to let people even consider calling min out for not telling him because that’s not so thing people ever even open up about in some cases. But yes I do think that out of any time now would be a good time to fill Sujin in on the whole picture.
I’m really sorry to hear about your past and I think your take makes sense this is why I said I don’t think either of them is fully right or wrong the situation is a moral grey scale but it is a very valid ... Mello
It's not that I don't empathize with min. I understand how trauma can affect your mindset. But I also know that it's really easy to use it to justify mistreating people. Obviously no one is perfect and Min isn't TRYING to hurt Sijun, but he did and I can't help but feel for Sijun.
It's not that I don't empathize with min. I understand how trauma can affect your mindset. But I also know that it's really easy to use it to justify mistreating people. Obviously no one is perfect and Min isn'... Bundle Bundle
That’s kinda how I feel too especially in the current chapters things are escalating quickly
It’s different because min shouldn’t have to speak on his abuse that’s his discretion but the context of Sujin purposefully using people for sex and moving on is scary so it makes sense that he would have... Mello
Sleeping around and having casual sex doesn’t make you a bad person. I’m not sure why people keep making that connection. Sleeping with people then moving on is fine if that’s what they both want. The slut shaming is real in these comments.
Are their pasts the same? No and I don’t think anyone is saying that. But Min going through abuse doesn’t justify how he’s treating Sijun. This is directly and negatively impacting their relationship and Min knows that. He doesn’t have to tell Sijun everything but he needs to be more open and honest.
Dude Min was groomed for three years then abandoned cold turkey by his groomer just for him to show back up in his life. He has every right not to want to talk about that until he’s ready. However although yes, there is nothing wrong with Sijun having a sexually explorative past he didn’t tell Min anything about that, giving the entire pretense of their relationship missing pieces and only told him when he got caught. Min has every right to want and need space and frankly I don’t think either of them are completely in the wrong it’s just weird watching the comments try to compare being groomed to an active choice of lifestyle.
Yeah, I see your point. Neither of them have had a healthy relationship, so they're understandably lost. I just don't see Sijun's sexual history as something at all relevant to their relationship, as opposed to Min's past which is currently affecting their relationship and Sijun has no idea. Of course they're not the same, you're right about that. The way I was looking at it, min is the only one who can see the full picture. So since Sijun has no way of knowing what Min is thinking, he's left to believe that everything is his fault, and Min, having the full picture, let him believe that, and it rubbed me the wrong way.
I probably had an overly emotional reaction to the whole thing, because I've been slut shamed by an ex and it was incredibly hurtful, and because I get massive anxiety about leaving fights unresolved.
Just no. Why is Sijun required to talk about his past by Min isn’t? It’s hypocritical. It’d be one thing if Sijun had lied about it but he didn’t. If sexual history was that important to Min then he should have asked Sijun a long time ago and been more upfront about it. Min is the one purposefully lying about his past.
It’s different because min shouldn’t have to speak on his abuse that’s his discretion but the context of Sujin purposefully using people for sex and moving on is scary so it makes sense that he would have doubt like that’s kinda a lot put in perspective but the real problem is that he didn’t say anything until he got caught it’s a difference between an active CHOICE Sujin made to use people and Mins past of BEING USED and ABUSED. They are not the same one was sleeping with people then moving on and one was being groomed.
I’m really sorry to hear about your past and I think your take makes sense this is why I said I don’t think either of them is fully right or wrong the situation is a moral grey scale but it is a very valid point that Sujin can’t grasp the entirety of the situation and I think min should tell them but knowing people who have been abused like that I was not about to let people even consider calling min out for not telling him because that’s not so thing people ever even open up about in some cases. But yes I do think that out of any time now would be a good time to fill Sujin in on the whole picture.
It's not that I don't empathize with min. I understand how trauma can affect your mindset. But I also know that it's really easy to use it to justify mistreating people. Obviously no one is perfect and Min isn't TRYING to hurt Sijun, but he did and I can't help but feel for Sijun.
That’s kinda how I feel too especially in the current chapters things are escalating quickly
Sleeping around and having casual sex doesn’t make you a bad person. I’m not sure why people keep making that connection. Sleeping with people then moving on is fine if that’s what they both want. The slut shaming is real in these comments.
Are their pasts the same? No and I don’t think anyone is saying that. But Min going through abuse doesn’t justify how he’s treating Sijun. This is directly and negatively impacting their relationship and Min knows that. He doesn’t have to tell Sijun everything but he needs to be more open and honest.