Fuck his situation is so fucking similar to mine and it hits me hard. Same kind of industry. Always being the second even tho u gave ur all but u still cant beat those with early start.. Its frustrating to keep comparing ourselves. I wish i had that kind of seme to actually fall for me along the way tho ╮(￣▽￣)╭
(After reading my own writing (the ones below), its amazing how this manga can trigger me like this, rants ahead, you can just ignore my rant)
Its easy to say "dont compare". But i unconsciously do that. Constantly asking am i that worthless? Myself is the only hindrance in my life but cant rly get over it. Been in a slump. Not wanting to do anything. Im wasting away my life rn. At my age (im not old) friends dont even exist in a sense unless u reach out to them. But some doesnt even want to take the hint. I guess we humans indeed need a partner in life. But.. I keep telling myself, if i cant take care of myself how am i supposed to expect anyone to take care of me... Im running in circles
Why am i saying all this in a yaoi manga topic wtf
But if theres anybody out there in similar situation with mine... Well... I know im not the only person having this kind of problem.. I just wished to be saved but i know its just a wishful thinking coz i never want to approach anyone when im in this state. I turned off all the social notifications. I felt burdened with my own online social life. Its supposed to be fun right? Online friends? But i felt burdened and wanted to run away.. Im running away rn. Im just tired. No matter how many times i get back up, this kind of thing will return for sure.
Im just tired. ...Welp, ciao.
2020-06-01 03:50 marked
Sorry might as well just rant coz no body knows me.