Ok, it might seem obvious, but I think they actually slept together in the military. As in not just that kiss etc, but going all the way. The MC thinks it was a dream, but it actually happened. And the ML thinks he’s been thrown away cos the MC is pretending that it never happened or acting like it meant nothing. So in reality they were each other’s firsts.
And can we talk about how the (masochist) seme is a yandere initially pretending to be a tsundere? I love that.
I just wish the MC would stop pretending to be a slut just to prove some kinda point to the ML but… if that didn’t happen there would be no Season 2 so I’m fine with it I guess.
This is a worthy read. Just don’t take things at face value. There are well thought out motivations behind the actions of the characters. You don’t see this in many manhwa.
(Slight spoiler regarding the AU/ Side stories)
In the AU it really stood out to me how the MC was so disillusioned with everything. Life, his finances, his failed career, his need for a sponsor, all this had worn him down and he’d become jaded. He felt he was a loser and had nothing to offer and, importantly, he felt he was too old to believe the words of the ML.
There’s definitely a sense of vulnerability behind the superficial need for money. And the sense of not wanting to be hurt at his old age. When you are young, it is comparatively easier to recover from heartbreak. Possibilities seem endless. But when you are much older, possibilities are much more finite and your “worth” (looks, reproductive ability, future money making potential etc) has diminished. If you’ve experienced heartbreak in the past it’s incredibly difficult to open your heart again.
Let’s get one thing straight. Despite anyone’s flaws, the ML raped and abused and fisted the MC (without his consent) to the point of convulsion.
For somebody that’s never been fisted before this must have been ridiculously painful. In real life it takes a lot of play and stretching to build up to this. Not in one night, but gradually over various sexual encounters. And even then it’s still not possible for many people.
“A destroyed man can never live anyone” - while I don’t condone the father’s bad parenting, when I read these words in the side story it explained a lot. We must also remember though that the mother also neglected her son. The son probably felt more affection for the father because he was the primary caregiver. But to his mother, he just represented a means to keep wealth in the family through inheritance. Remember when the son was desperately texting the father about his school achievements but was being ignored? He never texted the mother. It’s clear where his affections lay even before those affections were sexualised.
The woman trapped the father into the marriage by pretending the child was his. He literally said he thought what they had was casual. But then afterwards he saw it as a means of escape from poverty. So he was a gold digger, but was consistently physically and emotionally abused. To complicate things further it appears that he viewed their relationship as a form of prostitution, and she initially thought she was being sincere. But then treated him worse than a prostitute as their relationship degraded.
And then the child, so desperate for affection, witnessed his parents engaging in not just sex, but sex as a form of punishment. And then his need for affection became sexualised.
While all characters are flawed, the mother is the real villain. I wonder if the husband would have had affairs etc if he had just been treated with kindness. Maybe love could have blossomed over time and he would have let go of his selfishness. Maybe he was having affairs out of a need for affection. Let’s also not forget that his parents were financially ruined and committed suicide. It’s probable that he was financially stable before the family business collapsed.
But for her to exploit his greed through control and sexual abuse/ humiliation, and effectively forced him to give up on his dream and then divorce him after all that and leave him penniless was just cruel. And all this after treated him like a possession and handing him over to her son when she died. He was treated as an object to be inherited. Just so he could go through more sexualised punishment. And for what? Because he dared question the sincerity of her initial actions? Could they not have sat down and talked it out?
The tragedy also is that she loved how he played the piano.. And she took that away from him. (Becoming a professor is a poor substitute) She denied him what he loved and denied herself what she loved about him.
Honestly, I kinda love the MC. Despite his flaws and neglect of his son. (Actually my heart broke for his son) And I would gave forgiven the ML considering his childhood and sexualised need for affection if he just hadn’t fucking fisted the MC without his content.
At least there was no blood though. And the ML’s abusing the MC was not just random rape, but borne out of deep psychological maladaptive coping mechanisms. So to summarise, I loved this manhwa, cos I love fucked up shit (without blood) and I love incest stories.
Wow the Lord’s death ruined me. And then I found out that Beom died soon after. I’m glad they were reborn though.
Nah fr I am hurt on another level by it
This was messed up but SO good. Manhwas are nice because they have color, but if you want the plot to be PLOTTING, there’s nothing like a Japanese manga. I’m very satisfied.
This is so good BUT why didn’t the reporter tell him that it was the reporter’s sunbae that actually leaked the information, not him. He felt guilty for what happened because he did not try hard enough to stop his sunbae, but he didn’t leak the information.
I’d put off reading this for a long time. I finally read it and it was just beautiful. The first half was difficult to read because it was so cruel. Well written but it’s hard to see someone go through such experiences for years on end.
But the second half was amazing not just because of the emotions and regret, but because it actually ACKNOWLEDGED trauma and how hard it can be. And true acknowledgment of the cause of the trauma, and regret on the part of the person causing the trauma. So many 18+ manhwa never seem to get this right, and feel hollow and superficial.
I’m actually so glad that it didn’t have smut e,g, in bonus chapters when they were older because it would have detracted from the sheer beauty of the story.
This story made me cry but in a good way. Really well written especially regarding the characters inner most thoughts.
Also. Tatsumi and Senzaki for the win. And the prose describing their relationship, going against society, and obsession with each other was top tier.
The only character I loved was Atsumu. Being bullied his entire life never changed his kindness. He was just lovely. And the guy wanting to take revenge for his brother was also nice. The MC’s strength of character was never broken and you’ve got to respect that.
I think the MC definitely went through a redemption arc, eventually defending those less powerful than him. But why was he the only one? He never raped anyone although he was awful at the beginning. Why was there no redemption for any of the rapists, Karino included?
Because love saves us all. And forgiveness and growing up blah blah.
Fuck that. Bitch I want REVENGE.
I read the first 17 chapters and I have to stop, especially reading the spoilers in the comments. This is not like the other manhwas where we have an uke that falls in love with a toxic rapist seme. This is much worse than that.
I think if we reframe it, not as a dark romance, but rather as a story of domestic violence it makes more sense. Just like how children coming from households where the father beat the mother tend to form the same relationships with their spouses as adults. Hence perpetuating the cycle of abuse. (Obviously this is not always the case).
So, just like a wife who is in love with her husband and endures his beatings, so too is the uke doing this with his crush. Holding on to who they used to be in the past, and past kindness to just endure it. There’s no sense of self esteem or self worth - all this pain is worth it if it brings him emotionally closer to his crush.
So he keeps focussing on the feelings of the crush, while diminishing his own pain, both physical and emotional.
Also, his coercive sex and rape with the other friend in the first few chapters. He first does it so the friend won’t tell the crush, but the friend ends up telling the crush anyway. And when the friend rapes him, he just accepts it and tells him to get on with it and get out. He has no regard for his own body, and how he is being violated.
What also struck me how he was beaten half to death in middle school, but totally accepted it afterwards while eating chocolate and having his wounds treated. And agreeing to slave-like commands. Putting up with the most egregious abuse just for tiny slivers of kindness. Forgiving the most horrific people who inflict immense harm with the hope of getting closer to them. And not questioning if they were even worth getting close to in the first place.
And yeah. As usual, the most handsome and attractive men get away with the most horrific things in manhwa.
So yeah. This is not a romance but a tragedy. And porn. And torture porn. And an exercise in misery. And seeing just how much a financially and emotionally vulnerable person is forced to endure when they are starved of kindness and stability.
I guess it’s worth reading if you can stomach it, but it’s hard for me to read stories without some sort of payoff. Where the bad guy gets a punishment commensurate with his wrongdoings. So, for example, I can stomach rape if, later, the rapist is also raped. But I don’t think manhwas are brave enough to depict this. Because semes are not allowed to be violated and tortured. Only ukes.