shizu-chan's Favorite

You know...id say this was creepy and weird before but right now I am crushing so hard on someome and if I could have their picture I'd literally die, like I think my only wish to genie if he appeared before me would be to get a cute picture of my crush smiling candidly like I would literally pass away ngl. I'd make it every wallpaper on every device without shame like I am that down bad. Sorry Hatano I get you now （/TДT)/ you lucky sunuvabitch how dare you be this lucky, the picture is so cute I would be on my knees too because of the unparalleled beauty of my (future) husband

This is soooooo....I love and hate this story lol. I'm happy they're together at last but it feels rushed. Just a few chapters ago, he was like "aw fuck this stalker shit" and all that but then not only he gave up on almost a decade long crush but also is talking to him about his new lover...which is his brother. I only wish Jiseok didn't have the whole "I'm in love with you" insane arc like if he remained ambivalent, maybe the story might have been a little bit sensible. Or logical at least. I don't believe you can get over someone you have loved one-sided for so long...like I don't think Jigeon could get over Woosoo that fast and he has crushed on him the same amount of years if not longer. Idk. IDK. I still like the story a lot. I might read the novel too just to maybe get more clarification. And more context which might have been cut for the manhwa maybe. Idk.
Also woosoo's feelings for Jigeon have NOT BEEN DEVELOPED at all, not at least to justify this ultimate act of forgiveness. He's acting kinda like he just went through brainwashing surgery or something. Is it just me? Does it seem like it is natural?

Novel spoilers:



- the seme is gonna be sooooooo whipped, you have no idea. Like he's going to be HEAD OVER FUCKING HEELS in love with yoohan.
- the uke has a tattoo on his lower back (I think) of God of Destruction (Hindu God) which is how Jay (the seme) will recognize him.
-Yoohan "saved" Jay from being jumped by several dangerous people when he was working at the karaoke shop in his bunny costume and saw that the fight was happening when he was taking a nap, and Jay was injured
- they will have a deal - he will be a temporary sponsor for him thinking he is someone else, since Jay has two names and surnames. (Yoon is a name he took because he hates his OG father's surname)
- The seme will make sure his identity as the president isn't revealed for a long time ahahahah and when the uke found out, he makes an appearance in the most funniest form ever (his rabbit onesie) hahahaha he wanted to shock him because he was so angry but Jay loved him so much that he was just laughing in happiness that he finally revealed himself and he came here in the same way
- that blonde haired bitch (the guy who is responsible for his brother's death) is a bigger asshole than you could EVER think - and his sponsor is the most disgusting man ever (he is in the arms dealing business and enjoys watching men get raped by a group of men, which this blonde bitch ropes in -the newbies who he invites for a drink or making connection - it was pretty gruesome to read)
- their first kiss is going to be sooooo cute, the seme saves him from being discovered by the blonde bitch, and their physical intimacy throughout the story is a step by step thing which i appreciated a lot - kisses, handjobs, jerking off together, and then eventual sex, which was initated by yoohan (he really waited for him to ask for it lmaoo)
- the seme lovesssss to tease him, and when he goes for an outdoor shoot, he stays in a hotel nearby and tells him to come over and randomly asks him out only to kiss him and says "ok I'll survive two more days with this"
- seme is an insomniac and he can only be asleep peacefully with uke next to him.
- the seme has a tragic backstory - abandoned child.
- A bunch of interesting characters are gonna show up eventually - for example: the manager of the club owned by Jay , where yoohan will go to eventually. Their secret hangout place where he's made to watch movies and read scripts by Jay.

Unpopular opinion: but jung jaehan is my favourite character - not excusing his twisted sense of reality. Even though he does/did unforgivable things for kicks - I kinda relate to him on some level. To become so warped in your own self that you lose touch with reality, and tend to demonize people who threaten your sense of control (whatever you have left of it) over yourself - especially if it's in a way that is completely foreign to you.
Jaehan has been ignoring and dismissing his feelings because he didn't even know he was feeling anything at all except the same negative emotions he has always felt towards others.
I get why people are hating on him, but I don't agree at all. He's done some hateful things but he isn't a hateful person.
People only conveniently remember the "bad" things he might have done, but what he did before he actually knew heegyeom and all the things he did for him afterwards are so different. (He doesn't tolerate people disrespecting him, talking to him informally when they're younger, making fun of his clothes, causing him troubles at work, making him have that sad expression (when that dude mentioned his wife) he couldn't even scold that dude in front of him because he didn't want to be seen as his old self now) even with the movie itself, it was already ruined when he overheard them changing the script, he didn't intentionally change that. He also said his investment wasn't high enough to influence any decisions and even when he brought it up, heegyeom felt insulted and showed reluctance to make him do that. (Also, I think he was jealous of his "film" in his own delusional way because heegyeom was so fond of it, and showed that fond smile everytime he talked about it) - (Jaehan was a sadist no doubt but character development, people)
Also I don't know why people are conveniently forgetting that he was raped by heegyeom and accidentally caused him to overdose - not to mention his insomnia (which is literally one of the worst things to suffer from trust me)
Watching jaehan's wall crumble down was really painful to watch - because he wouldn't be able to go back to even his destructive lifestyle after this. I'm sure many people have said that he should suffer more for his sins, but to me, apart from the planting drugs thing, he has tried a lot to make up for his mistakes. Also heegyeom knows what kind of person he is - but there have been so many incidents since the start where jaehan has been so obvious with his feelings. After they really got to know each other, he has been a different person.
I think heegyeom will put 2 and 2 together, he did hint that he "shouldn't have said it" to jaehan and realized he had wanted to apologize but he didn't. He knows jaehan is an impulsive person with no control over his emotions but when he apologises and tries to make up, he is really sincere about it. Which has moved heegyeom before. Like the hwadae incident which became an inside "joke" afterwards between them. And now that jaehan is putting soooo much effort and money to make sure his dream is realized after it was totally crushed.
Plus is it me who can see how much he missed jaehan by the way he keeps kissing and holding him? Uwu. I'm just ╥﹏╥
I know people hate jaehan here, but I really love him. He's so pitiful, like a puppy hit by a car lying on the side of the road, just like heegyeom, who is like a wounded tiger. Idk I just love their dynamic and I don't hate anything about the story or characters in it. They're all very interesting, even if not completely likeable to many. I'll forever hope for jaehan to find therapy and heal himself so he can be good to heegyeom and vice versa. Something tells me that heegyeom liked jaehan at the same time he did back then - why would he even kiss him to give him drugs and had sex with him when he was passed out if he wasn't aware of him in that way? And why he felt sorry that he caused him to overdose. It's so interesting~

hmmmm...I think they're recycling the censored version for the uncensored chapters..
it's kinda hmmm.
1. Soohyun doesn't call eunsung's friend "a dumbass" but rather 문외한, which means an outsider/3rd party, like he said in the last chapter "an idiot who has no idea what the situation really is..." (as in what happened between them at the hotel, and the deal he made with eunsung last time they met) - i.e. he said because a third party (his friend) was involved now or would interfere (?), he wouldn't keep the deal on anymore.

2. Eunsung doesn't say "I'm not exactly hankering to do it with you again. I didn't imagine you'd barge in like this" but instead says "I know I said that, but I don't have intention of doing it with you again so soon. I didn't know/think you were the promiscuous~ type." (Which is said in a teasing tone ofc, since soohyun's "first time" was the time at the hotel when they had sex earlier (eunsung is his first for all the things - first love, first kiss (which soohyun did in this chapter), and first time having sex) - (author has confirmed soohyun was a virgin, and has lower sexual desire than people his age so he isn't keen on having sex before - obviously that changed when he met eunsung again, who is the only person who manages to stir him up (since high school)) - (eunsung has done it a few times before, but he didn't sleep around. Soohyun thinks munseop had his way with eunsung at first (and was his first time) and is pissed - and that's why he violated him as well, since he learnt sex from that maniac. Eunsung doesn't deny it then, but apologizes for ruining his first time, which pisses off soohyun even more, because it implied he was hurt emotionally by that, which he didn't want to admit)

3. To which soohyun replies, "Whose fault do you think this whole situation is? When I think about that time, I start boiling with such rage that I can't even fall asleep. To relieve my built up rage, I need to do with you whatver I want at least once. I need to repay it, twice as hard. Shall we start with the first hit (lit. Translation) /first repayment?" (As in first of the two times he's going to defile him to repay him)

4.He says while holding his face, "It will be worth seeing such a handsome face (lit. A perfect face with no flaws) be covered in tears."

5.And when eunsung challenges him to start taking his revenge with a smirk like he knew he couldn't do it, soohyun doesn't say "Don't underestimate me." Before kissing him, But rather "He's looking down on me."

Which kinda is more consistent with how soohyun perceives himself in eunsung's eyes, that he's always so above him, that he's always looking down on him.

6. When soohyun asks him why he was kissing the other dude back them if they weren't lovers, eunsung actually holds his face and says, "By that logic, I kissed you too, and after having sex, is there something between us now? He kissed me first on his own (that dude from then) Are you jealous? It's kind of cute/ You're kind of acting cute/ you look a little adorable." (*cute squeal* eunsung-ah, my sunshine~ my vitamin~ )

I was kinda looking forward to the mature translations but they really gonna do this again huh...oh well. If they were gonna recycle the same shit, they shouldn't make people pay for it twice.

Just for a head ups for the English readers, not just the sex scenes are censored, but even the dialogues are censored so it's not exactly same as the raws but like an indirect translation. For example: soohyun texts eunsung at the end and says "Let's get all this shit sorted out, fucking asshole." In Korean. Also after soohyun catches eunsung catching the stalker on his behalf, he is pissed and says 'this damn fucker, I explicitly told him I didn't want this (as in him worrying about soohyun) Always doing what he wants/interfering where he doesn't need to, ruining my plans."

Nevertheless, I'll never be not upset at how they ruined this masterpiece *insert look how they butchered my boy meme from Godfather* censoring sex scenes was stupid enough but even the dialogues...why would you even do this...

Anyway, in the next episode, eunsung is gonna dress up pretty for soohyun when he comes to see him because he knows soohyun is weak to his face and he dresses up for him so he won't get scolded ㅋㅋㅋㅋ he's so cuteeeeee ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ

Why bring up your brother when you don't wanna talk about him? so awkward....
The uke telling his childhood stories with enthusiasm
The hot seme: y'all hear sm? But you'll look good in short hair...
Hahahaha wtf (￣∇￣")

And I swear if anyone says there are rape scenes I’m gonna waste you....like what is wrong with y’all do you guys just like shouting rape every damn time it’s like if the seme isn’t a trash bag then y’all don’t rest and must look for something to trash them about ...so annoying just stop it okay