mindar█▓▒░'s Favorite

Now this reminds me of a novel I read a long time ago named Feather by C.M. Matheson, it’s about a man who falls in love with a woman that possess a unique voice but is afraid to hold her back and waste her talent with his love
“Spoiler” in the end he sacrifices their mutual love for her success which completely destroys both of them in the end…
Hope the ending of this manga doesn’t end up as depressing as this novel :)

this is one of the few manga's that go deep inside homosexuality as a whole and not just certain parts of it so i enjoyed it thoroughly.
the pedophilia was disgusting but it's scarily accurate to what queer folks especially gay men have to face through really early on, we who are still figuring ourselves out are easy victims to pedos and after you grow up it just hits u that "oh that wasn't okay" ect ect. if im being honest the girl really pissed me off early on, and others too in this manga. people like homosexuality if it caters to their fantasy, we're put on display for heterosexuals to have a good time. Ofc appreciation and fetishizing is completely different things but smtms fujoshis are in the middle of that faint line that it's hard to like or dislike them. this manga was a reality check to me tbh, but it doesn't seem like it's written from a queer perspective but from someone who think they know queers that well... but that's just my opinion.

Ahh, that was so sad to see the person who before constantly go all the way to you, being so bold to do everything for you suddenly gone like that(i can't cry here , it too shocking that he just let him die) The day rewind.. And u saw him back again, but with a different attitude and style. And it's you the one who let him change for the sake of his future again... Now it's your work to go bold for him (;ω;) ..(here where i cried real hard )

I was curious why the title had the name blackjack, since the only meaning I knew of was the card game, so I looked it up, the meaning was to pressure/threaten others. Our mc's role in this universe to face everything head on, it's his best & worst quality, he will make you do the same whether you want to or not.

The main character, is an intern not sure which field in the medical departments to pursue, his experiences with the patients, politics, media, and the law will either make an everlasting on impression on you or they wont.

Every chapter/volume gives you multiple point of views, and realistic characters. Every page you grow closer with the characters & the patients, it's a nearly impossible feat to not feel every moment with the main character.


The story (Oh BOY WAS IT GOOD) , came for an mature plotline and I sure as hell recieved one. Truly grateful to the author/translator /etc. Who have given me a chance to get familiar with this manga.

It's my sincere wish, that anyone who has read my review, will have an idea of what a treat they are in for, after stumbling on this gem.(▰˘◡˘▰)

About the tag debate, have two cents from this queer trans person

I very much agree that J is a trans woman. It is clear, obvious and was stated and hinted at several times. The dysphoria and gender identity crisis faced by J was very obviously not that of a gay man ( cuz yes, there can be dysphoria there too because of compulsory heterosexuality. Many queer people raised in very heteronormative settings and cultures might understand this. In your mind, to be able to love the same gender you have to be of the opposite one, which sparks a heck ton of dysphoria. Trust me, I WOULD KNOW.]

HOWEVER, this story was marketed as a BL, written as a BL, intended to be a BL, heck the male lead is said to be gay and does his coming out to his aunt which is your biggest clue and several other instances where it just SHOWS that the author very much presented this as BL.
Is it okay and fine ? No, absolutely not, but the tags just shows how the art was marketed. Say I write a story and tell you right from the start that those two characters have feelings for each other and you as a reader think there is very little of it so it shouldn't be taggued as such. But, I wrote it with romance between those two characters in mind, I sold it with romance between those two characters in mind and I marketed it with romance between those two characters in mind. It should be even more so relevent when there is a cultural disparacy between me; the artist, and you; the reader.

The whole issue goes back to the fact that Japanese are not on the same page on gender identity issues as the Western World. Again, having lived for a long time there, I can tell you that to most people, trans people are just gay people who went through with the whole procedure. In the early 20th century Western world, "masculine" presenting queer women were said to be men trapped in women's bodies, which is cringe, but you know, early 20th century. Japan is kind of still in that wave but while still being more progressive. This is why a Japanese word such as an "Okama" (which J is described as) exists and is, by Western standards, LITERALLY more than four identities at once; it's a feminine gay man, a trans woman, a straight dude in touch with feminity, a drag queen and some more, basically, any AMAB with feminine characteristics.

Is it okay to mix in several identities ? No, of course not, don't do that you rude paperclip. I am just trying to explain WHY there is a BL tag ╮(￣▽￣)╭

I really dislike the obligatory maid/friend in this manwhas. Already it's a weird relationship since not only is it being friends with your boss, but adding to the complete blind devotion of the maid characters makes it extra gross. She's not your friend, you'll never treat her like an equal.

And the Manwha doesn't even try to pretend that their equals. It always give an air of 'you should be lucky to serve me' which is gross. It's the whole blind devotion that creeps me out, it gives major cult vibes. And it's worse when the FL used to be awful and abuse the maid character, but suddenly because they've gotten the bare minimum of kindness or apology, they worship the FL like she's a goddess.

The emperor and empress confess their feelings. A concubine asks for the ML, FL says not to go cause she has a bad feeling. The FL gets kidnapped and is taken away for 2 years. ML becomes a tyrant.
After the empress’ death, the MC goes back to her original body (she actually knew she had to leave the empress’ body that day but so she asked the emperor to stay with her which became a huge trauma to the ML) and after two years she goes back to the palace disguised as a male escort/bodyguard due to political shenanigans. The MC was actually summoned for a reason, and it involves this radical group founded by the Ryeokuk’s royals who wants to assassinate the emperor.

MC felt somewhat attached to the group though she enters the imperial palace and wants to protect the emperor seeing how the ML blames himself hard for everything and turned into someone completely different. The ML also left the empress’ place exactly as it was before, and gave out harsh punishments for everything involving the ‘late’ empress. The story kind of turns into a ‘BL’ romance as naturally the ML is reminded of his one true love-the empress from the MC’s expressions/habits when she starts working as the emperor’s escort and falls in love. ML admits his feeling for the new MC pretty early on, even though he is a ‘male escort/bodyguard because he really regretted losing the empress without admitting his feelings. The ML even gets jealous saying you should be my man even in front of beautiful women lol and that causes Gong Lin to panic again and she tries the frame the MC, and even going as far as recreating the bloody ML’s trauma by harming herself and then copying the last words of the empress to hold onto the ML (which is pretty messed up IMO).

MC felt angry about that incident and tried to tell him the truth, asking what if the empress is not dead but just hiding due to circumstances...but the ML reacted pretty violently and storms out to go see his concubine. MC was disappointed because it reminded her of her last day - even when it is extremely important, he always chooses Gong Lin. So MC starts acting cold to the ML, refusing the snacks he orders for her, not meeting his eyes, and trying to avoid eating together, etc. ML was scared that he hurt the MC, and he didn’t want to lose ‘him’ too so he asked why he was mad and he will try to fix whatever it is which surprised MC since he would have never done this before with the empress. ML even confesses that he is in unrequited love with him in front of everyone, and tries his best.

That’s why when it was revealed MC is part of the infamous group that abducted the empress, it hurt him pretty bad as he thought she approached him on purpose and how he really fell in love with the person who killed the one he loved the most. While in prison, she tries to say she was trying to protect the emperor all along, but the ML was very conflicted with his guilt for the empress. Then when MC is alone with Hoon, she confesses her real identity considering her group obviously abandoned her and left her to die and to prove it she recounts how they met the first time, with the intruder and the stone... The prison guard listening to their conversation was a member of the group, so the guard murders the MC while Hoon and the emperor were on their way to the prison. ML sees another bloody gory dead MC, a repeat of his worst nightmare, is shook to the core for the second time.

Fortunately, MC goes back to the empress’ body and a lot of political stuff about this prophecy about her and how she will rid of this group from Ryeokuk. She is given three choices including one where she goes back to her original world and forgets everything. But MC chooses to stay with the emperor and goes to the palace and meets the ML. He couldn’t believe his eyes and kept asking Hoon if he was seeing a ghost and is over the moon when the MC comes back in the empress’ body. Then she teases him saying I heard you were having an affair while I was gone and then kind of explains all the prophecy/politics to him. She couldn’t come back officially due to the threats from the group and the ML wanted to kill all the people involved in the group right away, but MC persuades him to wait to avoid shedding innocent blood and work to eliminate all the discrimination against Ryeokuk people which was the root of all this. The stubborn emperor couldn’t even believe himself that he actually listened to her and put out an edict while she is sleeping. The book ends with the emperor kissing the sleeping MC saying I can endure everything for you (or something similar) with tears

I think it's not a romantic secxal love towards the dad, just a misplaced way of coping with the fact that he feels like he's not a "real son" because of the king's past family. He's just really desperate for familial love. Hence, the parts where he also didn't see Alex as his real brother and then overjoyed to know that they were equally loved by their dad. Bro just tried to find affection in the most slutty way possible tho. He may be smart, but he's clueless about family things since he was an orphan.

hmm this made me uncomfortable... the way the uke climbed into the seme's bed because he was "cold and couldn't help it" and later assaulted the seme because he "liked him". kinda feels like there's a double standard. if it was the other way around and the seme did that to an uke, people would be screaming rape... the seme was even uncomfortable about everything in the first chapters but eventually gave in cause the uke is very persistent and wasn't really in a good mental state... but i guess they fell in love in the end?

sorry for taking this too seriously, disclaimer: i know it's a manga so it's all fiction but i was expecting this to be really good and fluffy cause some comments said this was cute (altho some people say it has weird vibes) and the rating is so high. it's fluffy in the end but not very satisfying for me

Best portrayal of that awkward&embarrassing emotional turmoil of the first time telling the object of your love that you have such strong wants of a sexual nature with them. This totally was innocent and totally accurate of how the events of "What am I feeling", "Denial of feeling", "Accepting but What to do next", "Must tell but scared to tell", "Find best way and right time", only to randomly somehow find yourself speaking but can't take it back so you're shaking and your mind is screaming and begging that you make sense but also that they accept your feelings and don't think its "bad" but also they reciprocate.
So much baited breath when reading that scene. My heart is still pumping!!

I think the panel where he's in the closet is a dead give away that he's dying no pun intented, Think about your biology class there's always some skeleton hiding in the closet and I think the way sakamoto is put into it is some sort of visual parallel to that. Also in media they often tend to joke about having some type of ghost in closet, or classes, and I thinkl that's what Sakamoto represents, and that's why he didn't hate anybody, he didn't have time to do so, since he wanted to enjoy life to its fullest. I really hate the Death theory, but it surprisingly not that far fetched, otherwise why would the author stop this masterpiece even tho the public ask for so much more, and there's definitely endless possibilities for that. It's because he had a vision and wanted to respect it. Also the name of the manga sounds like a cool catchphrase but also as if he was trying to leave a mark on the people around him. It realy ressembles some sort of final confessions similar to: Please don't forget me. You know who I am dont you? I'm Sakamoto.

I....dont really like the human boy Fushi is staying with (i forget his name) it iust feels like this is all a game to him without realizing how important all of this is to Fushi.
I’m also mixed about the Knockers. Are they evil? Or are they like humans, neither good nor bad but living by their own morals? I really dont know...

I understand Izumis frustration and its fucked up that they set her up but I'm also glad she sees the error of her ways. Even if it wasnt her intention, in the end she also put a heavy burden on her daughter at a very young age which ultimately led them to this situation. I'm sure if Izumi gets the chance to talk to Mizuha and talk over their problems Mizuha would want to get her mother back

binged the entire thing. I love how the author shows how friends can be jealous and possessive too, and how ppl can be toxic without realizing it. setting one's own boundaries is also important too, and I'm glad that the college guy is so aware of his own feelings.

gang leaders are often portrayed as these jealous territorial borderline abusive assholes who need to be fixed by their innocent partner, but recent works like this one and 'dangerous convenient store' star gang leaders who are 3 dimensional and make an effort to treat their partners right from the start. that's very good to see.

I’m a Sign Language student and this comic is amazing. Deafness is not the same for everyone and not every deaf person is the same. Also it really touched me how it described the struggles of being with a person who has a disability, I’ve been clinically depressed for more than ten years and I’ve lost my husband because of it, it reminded me a lot of my own situation.

Long story short, come for the bento shenanigan, stay for the deep journey through the world of deafness and identity.

Came back to finish reading this manhwa and woah there were so many plot twists and everything. It might not have been a fairytale ending but this just shows how life doesn’t hand u everything on a platter just because u try hard but she held through and managed. Although she was the mc I saw the least amount of character growth in her. It’s not completely a bad thing tho ig but it really didn’t help when she kept clinging onto the thought of her fiancé even tho she knew he was dead. I felt so bad after finding out how his life was like behind closed doors :( like he didn’t desire any of it and he managed to fool everyone into thinking he was ok, even to his fiancé. I really wish I read the whole thing when it was fully completed because I feel like a forgot a lot of important details but other than that it was a pretty good manhwa.

okay this is was so frustrating to read but it’s addictive and well written out. There really was a false sense of security with Seokhyun‘s character and a suspicious aura with Nam Eunsoo. The real character development for Bae Eunsoo I see is around chapter 60, you get the sense she’s simple and obsessed with her image. But she’s strong, strong around those that manipulated her. I want to know the backstory with Nam eunsoo / seokhyun and kiwoong to know exactly what destroyed him. I wanted to learn more about Kiwoong’s story. The ending was bitter sweet kind of calm after the incident at the party. I feel a lil empty after reading that, but no regrets

Duchess has postpartum depression. She's sick. She's traumatized. Her husband got deported for war while she's pregnant. Not long after the father in law which is a form of security has passed away. She was isolated by the vassals. Targeted by the relatives which made her anxious and defenseless. As soon as her husband is back, she witness a murder first-hand and the security she was expecting, she was not able to feel. If that was not enough her father also died and found out her sister got miscarriage (which made her think she can't be "happy" with her pregnancy). No one tried to understand her and she has friends to turn to. It's not helping that she married young either, both of them are immature and their relationship has a weak foundation. She's frustrated as she knows she's capable of a lot more but could not perform because she's a woman and an outsider. She's thinking about harming herself and her child, and inorder for her to stop herself for doing so she distracted herself with parties and neglecting him. I don't blame or hate her, though I understand why her son is reluctant to form a relationship with her. I don't blame the Duke either because surely anyone who comes back from the war is never the same as before, but I still can't help but feel disappointed that instead of focusing on this wife he's prioritizing the "other choices" and for turning down her eagerness to change. They desperately needs family counseling.

I've had people try to pay for me before, especially when I was living a little rough, and I always worried like they would expect something in return, or I would have to pay them back later (which I normally insisted and followed through on even if it took some time), and I always felt like shit for their pity for me, but also need the money too. I was stuck with thoughts like why are are giving this to me for free??? This story resonated with me deeply. When the mc doesn't have enough money to buy the convenience store coffee, I felt that. I've been there. Now I earn much more than I did before (but by no means sugar mama material), and if I buy someone something for them, I'm really doing it because I want to help them, because I see myself in them, because I had been there, crying at the cost of my car not working when I had to get it repaired, living in my car and crashing on couches, saying I was on a diet so friends wouldn't know I couldn't afford to eat out with them, and wondering how I was going to buy food for the month. Now I'm on the opposite side, I still have a weird feeling like I'll be broke next month but I'm willing to cash it out for others in need because there were people who did the same for me and I wouldn't have made it far without them. In this case it's probably a deep part of the seme resonated with the mc, whether it was romantic or empathic, which made him want to spoil him. But I remember and still get really squicked out when people offer to pay for me still, so I def get the mc's feelings.
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