mlngth's Topics (219)

Girl me TOO!! Ofc they brought the first love back just when they confess to each other

Same

I can’t lie I overthink everything. I just can’t control it unless there’s someone there to tell me “stop overthinking and just do it”. I have no idea why I just stare at messages trying to find out what’s wrong with them or why I don’t know how to respond to simple messages like “wsp” without sounding stupid. It just happens so I kinda get what’s going on with the mc but after it’s been a while I’ll be like “yo what’s going on?”

But like why torture yourself into being stressed and then wonder why you are stressed. Maybe ML is a whore but then atleast you know it instead of this shit. MC is getting on my nerves

I agree, I overthink a lot too. but the MC has to step his ground because oh boy this is frustrating. Maybe he is in another level of overthinking because of his ex

it's not something we can control you know (〜￣△￣)〜

Yep it just happens

Ok I'm trying to understand. So you physically can't write the question you want to know about in situations like this? And if there is a chance you can why do this to yourself? Is this something one can learn? I wouldn't want to live like this. I mean it's not like I never think to much about something but most of the time I just do it. Not being able to do that sounds fucking exhausting

I think it’s similar to how some people say “i wish i never asked” after hearing a respond to their own question. especially for anxious people, sometimes finding out the truth they didnt want may feel even worse than being in constant wonder

Yeah but asking something always has the chance to hear something you don't wanna hear. That's life or am I wrong? Like there will be times where life goes the way you want it and times where it doesn't. It's the same the other way around. A person themself will say things that other won't like to hear, but so it is then. I'm truly trying to understand but it seems like I can't

While true, it doesn’t necessarily deter people from going against it. there are probably things that you do that can come across as irrational to other people; we all do things for the sake of our own comfort.

a more extreme example i can think of was when a person told me they want kids but cant because they are afraid of their child dying from a public shooting. is death a part of the risk of life? yes. would telling them that make them change their decision and lessen their anxiety? probably not.

again thats a little extreme, but anxiety can make things feel that way. you dont have to understand, just give grace or be patient with others. that is simply how they cope with things.

Like you said it is a very extreme example and the fear of death isn't comparable to writing a message or asking something. Maybe because it's absolutely not on the same caliber I still can't seem to understand. Or is overthinking like that a recognized mental illness like depression? Then it's a whole different matter. If not it seems like something people have but don't seriously work on

I guess another way to look at this topic and apply it to the manhwa is to reframe the perspective and consider how sunbae would feel if gunjoon brought up his concerns and the connotations of those questions to sunbae’s reputation.

how would gunjoon bring up the rumors without insinuating that he somewhat believes them? how do you think sunbae would feel knowing that his own boyfriend possibly could think of him as a slut? would asking these questions for gunjoon’s peace of mind outweight the discomfort that it may bring to sunbae having been associated with those rumors? Sure, it can be framed as “overthinking” but it can also be deemed “considerate” even if it is at the cost of his own mental comfort.

or to return the previous idea of “i shouldn’t have asked,” what would gunjoon do now if those rumors were true? you can say that life is about chance, but what if you consider the context of this situation? they live in korea, a largely homophobic country with a small dating pool. and while gunjoon has had multiple dates, they’ve all gone poorly or treated him poorly. hes only had ONE relationship go well and the odds of him having another successful relationship that meet his criteria are not very high. would it called irrational for him to consider the risk of ruining his one good relationship because of rumors and personal biases that he has the capacity to work on himself? I wouldn’t really say so.

Not all overthinking is pathological, sometimes it can be explained by context. i brought up anxiety in particular because an overarching statement like “i hate overthinkers” is a bit extreme. like I said, anxiety can make seemingly normal tasks or responses feel like death. overthinking is not a mental illness in itself, but it is a common symptom of many mental health conditions. but either way, it’s not a purely negative trait; its important for our survival as a species. its just painted a nuisance when it is inconvenient to others or if it causes legitimate harm.

hope this makes sense

On the example of the manwha:
Gunjoon does believe the rumors. And his boyfriend does like literally nothing to calm him. And nobody can tell me he doesn't know the rumors about him. He never talks about anything important, so he doesn't have any right to be mad when asked about it. So I truly think Gunjoon has the right to believe it and the other bro doesn't have the right to take it personal. So not talking about anything isn't considerate in my opinion. It's hindering and self-destructive.

Your next point I understand but I again think it's self destructive to take the chance to be with a manwhore even though he doesn't like it only to be with someone or not be alone.

Obviously "hate" was an exaggeration in my formulation but I can't deal with people like that. A little bit worries here and there isn't the problem. But to deal with someone who tears themself down constantly is too hard, except they're working on it. In case of the manwha Gunjoon doesn't do shit to be better and I can't stand it

youre jumping hoops into assuming what other people believe and know and then dictating what you think is “right” from your own line of judgment. not everyone has the same line of logic nor the same moral compass as you. what would be “right” to you is just what is convenient to yourself. but not everyone may have those same values.

I think you are not considering how gunjoon has been developed as a character and therefore assuming what he wants as an individual. there is a difference between believing the rumor vs allowing it to affect your relationship. some people feel more comfortable discussing it, while others feel more thinking a bit longer on it before doing other things like working internally, etc. there isn’t a right answer, it is simply a concern about where one’s priorities lie.

You make it sound like his decision to not talk is good for him, opposing to my "convenient" and "inconsiderate" values. But he's just hurting himself. And his relationship. So a logical step is to change the approach.

I think the main point here is, you're only thinking with your vision of the things, not everyone thinks the same as you or thinks it's easier to just ask.

And sometimes overthinking is a way that a person has found to protect themselves, as a response to trauma they have previously experienced or life situations that taught them to be that way, you know? It is not something that we can simply stop doing and it is not something that we can control (Of course, if we work on it in therapy, we can try to control it, but not everyone wants or is able to go to therapy).

i didnt put a right or wrong on anything, but you are. you are enforcing your own values and biases on a situation and formulating your own judgement. which is fine, we all do that. but that doesn’t make it an absolute truth, especially when we are discussing something so subjective like the happiness of a relationship.

while i understand in most situations, not communicating can “hurt him and his relationship” sometimes it actually doesnt. there are several instances i can think of where not saying anything at all has served a relationship better. of course, that doesn’t mean that that method is applicable to all situations, but when you’ve discovered something to work (e.g., not confronting an individual —> feelings go away and no more discomfort), wouldn’t it be the logical decision to continue using that method in applicable scenarios until it proves otherwise?

relationship are extremely complicated and it is not as simple to just communicate when YOU want to. you are also responsible for another individual’s feelings whether you like it or not. and some people that that responsibility more to heart and thats okay.

I agreeee 100%

I can't believe I am actually talking to adults here. Communication just isn't strong enough for all the anxiety people on this website

twink on his dick, og owen in his ass, yellow scarf owen in his mouth, and his two hands stroking other owens it works

This placement is so real

Im imagining we're all discussing this like philosophers at a round table. Your mind is like a labyrinth my friend

Girl you got it all right

Me tooo

May I suggest a possible 2P into the mix?

genius omg.. now I have a perfect scenario going on my head rn..