I don't know what I really am. I've had crushes on boys, but they always end with me not caring after a certain point. When boys I liked confessed to me, I would except, but then just break up with them. I always thought that with more experience and time, I'd have change, but I feel like I'm going no where and that I haven't changed at all. I don't feel sexual attraction to anyone, and never have. Sometimes I've felt an 'itch', but never felt a need to satisfy it or anything. Once tried to masturbate, and I felt nothing, just grossed out form having my fingers slimy. I wanted to see if I could do it whilst thinking of a certain type of person, and if it would do anything for me. I think girls are pretty, too; my thought on them and boys are pretty much the same, but I've only had crushes on males. But when I think about having sex with a boy or girl, I just see it as the same, I don't mind touching, but when it comes to sexual or even just meaningful interactions, I get grossed out. I hate being deemed 'in a relationship', and really don't like committing myself to a person for romantic purposes. I attach myself to friends though, and I don't have any sex drive that needs to be filled. Sometimes I think a relationship would be ok if it was going to be like we're good friends, but then I feel like I should let them touch me to make them feel good. I hate that, but if it was a friend, I'd have no problem with them touching me. I don't really look at gender when I feel any itch, and never has it been strong or even something I'd act on. TBH, I just feel it when I'm looking at certain scenes, but my thoughts and actions are never affected by it, and pretty much just act as an itch on the inside of me. I'm a highschool student, so I might be a late bloomer? I'm not too worried about finding out what I identify as, but I do wanna know why it feels like I behind while my peers are becoming more sexually mature. Most of my friends aren't virgins anymore, and I haven't even done anything to get rid of my virginity. Is this asexual, or something else? Is there any other ways I can go about figuring out my sexuality?
did saddest anime scene
