Easterbunnyヤオイgxk's Things

This is about rape and stuff so please don’t read if that does trigger some people and have a wonderful day :) also super long sorry guys

So I’ve come here wondering some things that I’ve been kinda suppressing since childhood first off I gotta ask
What’s the difference between getting raped and getting molested?
I’m generally just tryna find out which happened to me as a child my guy and I at least gotta educate myself on the topic to determine that so please give me knowledge so I can determine what I want to know and what better way to find out than through strangers :)
Also what happened to me when I was like 2nd maybe 1st to about 3rd or 4th grade some people I know maybe raped me but I’m not too sure if that’s how you clarify the situation so is full blown penetration rape or what cause I’m a little confused
I’ve also come to realize recently that in 3rd grade I bled and thought it was my period but it never happened again so was that because of my experience or something else cause my period then occurred in 8th grade
Another thing is it’s been so long since this has happened that even the people who did it seem to have forgotten so sometimes I begin thinking it’s almost a false memory implanted to show me a bad outcome in life is this something that people go through or am I in denial? Funny thing is (if this indeed happened to me which I’m fairly certain it did), is that it probably would have gone on longer if I hadn’t thought it was wrong and told them to stop and rejected their offer and such
And another thing I believe I’ve become emotionally unstable because of what occurred for all this time I’ve intentionally blocked it from my mind until I decided as a “drunk moment” which was me taking advantage of the situation and getting it off my chest told my friends which didn’t turn out as well as I hoped, I tend to have dark thoughts about really kinda hurting everyone around me and I have to at least kill the person I’m talking to once in my head to get by I also to make sure I didn’t injure anyone used to (I haven’t done it in a while since I haven’t gotten mad recently) cut my legs to feel almost relief I guess
I’ve kept this a secret for so long that even tho I want professional help I don’t want anyone in my family to find out
So I kindly ask you strangers who will probably never find out who I truly am to sort of aid me in my personal dilemmas thank you :)

So relationship troubles man, technically I’m not in one nor have I ever been in one; however, someone did ask me out. So I friend zoned him but I wanna know if that was a good decision because of some reasons
So me being inexperienced I kinda don’t know if I like like someone or just wanna be friends with them, I’ve known him for 2 years and thought maybe I have feelings for him but I wasn’t sure if I just wanted to be friends with him. We weren’t the closest friends until now and I always wanted to have some sort of interaction with him so this year I thought I had to do something considering it was our senior year so I took the chance to kinda force him to be my partner for an assignment allowing me to get his socials and eventually his number
A reason I wasn’t sure about being in a relationship was because although I am outgoing and good with guys I wasn’t sure if I was ready due to some childhood trauma (if you know you know). Also I had a friend who liked dude in the past and was rejected by him, knowing how females are some people don’t like how you go out with a guy they’ve liked in the past so I was wary of that since she is kinda sensitive (although maybe I’m making her be more sensitive in my head than she actually is)
I do like talking to this guy a lot and think about him quite a bit, I do interact with him much differently than my other guy friends I’ve noticed
So I’m wondering if I had made the wrong decision because of the sudden confession or if my decision was fine
also tell me if I’m just making excuses for myself
Sorry for making this needlessly long :/

Does anyone want to play genshin with me and be friends I mean not right now cause I have to work on an essay but at some point or maybe tell me good artifacts that will go well with these characters
Jean
。using sourjner and 1 adventurer stats are atk 399 def 116 elemental 28
Kaeya
。3 adventure, 1 berserker, 1 traveling doctor. Atk 244 def is 309 and elemental is 21
Lisa
。Mariam artists and 1 berserker. Atk 236 def 240 and elemental 25
Traveler
。all berserker atk 239 def 276 elemental 0
Sucrose
。haven’t done really anything but she has all instructor atk 140 def 78 and elemental mastery is 91
Barbara
。also didn’t do much 3 exile 2 lucky dog, atk 95 def 260 elemental 34
Amber
。traveling doctor and 1 berserker, atk 303 def 231 elemental 0
I’m rank 22 and my UID is 618430121
I wanna build a good party so please help

Okay so you know when you want to talk with people cause you’re bored and you finally get someone to talk you on social media but after like 2 days you get bored of them how do I stop that I feel like such an arsehole I just wanna make friends and they either don’t get it or are too serious got solutions for me????
Also how’s everyone’s day going? If you had to choose would you eat a human or an alien, would you guys try cannibalism? Fried Squirrel or rat stew? Sorry for my weirdness

How do you make friends or talk to people I need to know your ways? What are some conversation starters?
Also anyone wanna be friends and talk on discord or something I need human interaction even if I’m awkward