Merry's Favorite

Sorry but this may be out of topic but ughh, it freaking hurts. Could someone please comfort me, I feel like I was all alone and that nobody cares. My boyfriend just broke up with me last week and I don't know why I tried to call and send him messages so that we can talk it over but he kept on ignoring me. After a few days I went to his house until I heard that he was already married and that they have a baby and that they will live in other country permanently. I was shocked and of course I was hurt. I really don't know what to do at that time but of course I will not let this affect my studies since I'm going to college now especially that I have 4 scholarships from different universities and of course I need to choose one. I tried to talk to my parents about my problem but they don't seem to care. When it comes to friends, I only have few it's because most of the people especially from my previous school hated me, I don't even know why. Then one of my friends told me that most of them hates me it's because they're just jealous of what I accomplished-I was the valedictorian in high school and was the best in all subjects. I was sad when I heard this I just want them to look at me for who I am and I don't want them to hate me just because of that. After we graduated, all of my friends migrated to other country. I felt sad because I'm all alone again. Even though I finished high school with big accomplishment, I feel alone..my parents didn't even come to my graduation because they're very busy but they did say sorry to me afterwards...of course I understand but somewhere in my heart I really feel alone and feels that nobody seemed to care..My boyfriend broke-up with me, my super busy parents and my friends who are now in other country..I understand my parents because I know that they're working hard to support me and our financial needs but somehow I kinda feel neglected it's because when I need them, they're always not there for me due to work. Even though I have good grades and many accomplishments, I still don't feel happy I feel like I was all alone. It really hurts, this kind of feeling.. Sorry for my english.

A few days ago I was reading some comments in Junjou Romantica's page here in mangago, I just read a very touching story yet sad relationship..it turns out that the one who posted that is my childhoodfriend (he told me his story about what happened between him and his boyfriend before so I know it's him). He posted this last May 24, here's the story: shin - "I absolutely love Junjou Romantica. Why? It's because I can relate to this manga. The relationship between usagi and misaki is just like the relationship between my boyfriend and I (yes, we're gay). My boyfriend is kinda like usagi kind, caring and somehow possessive. He also becomes jealous when other people likes me too especially to my friend whom I really admire because he's the one who wrote the books that I love to read, who also love me...more than a friend. And just like misaki, I told my boyfriend that he don't need to worry because my feelings towards my friend is different from him (of course I love my boyfriend). I can understand usagi and misaki's feelings because their situation right now also happened to me. We also faced challenges that may affect our relationship, especially that we're both men. I also have problems to deal with- my parents and my brother the same goes for my boyfriend. At first our parents and my brother didn't accept our relationship. We even broke-up once because of this. I was really hurt at that time, but I didn't give up as well as my boyfriend. And after some time because of hardwork and how we showed that we really do loved each other, they accepted our relationship. We we're really happy. That happiness didn't last long. My boyfriend died, protecting me. I was really shocked. I almost fell into darkness until I remembered his last words before he died: he said that I must keep on living and don't fall into darkness just because he died. He even said that I must keep on smiling, the smile that saved him from being alone and that made him happy. Also, he even said sorry to me when there are times that he hurt my feelings and he thanked me for loving him and told me that I must always remember that even when he's gone, I'll be always in his heart, that he'll always guide me. Before his final words he said to me that to say hi for his family and to say sorry to them. And before he died, he said to me the three words which is I love you. I cried a lot. I even said sorry to his family because I feel that I'm the one to blame that their son died. But they told me to not worry because it's not my fault. They even said that that there's always a time where people will die. Even though their son died, of course it's not easy to accept it first but somehow in their hearts they told me that they're also proud of their son because it shows that he really is devoted and loves me even if it costs his life. The pain and despair that I felt for almost a year (it's because i really loved him so much) starts to heal because of the help of my parents, friends and even the parents of my boyfriend. I think it's almost 19 years since that incident happened. I'm very old now. I didn't take a single step to start a new relationship because no matter what I do I really can't forget him. I really do love him even when he's gone. Even when I die he'll always be in my heart, nobody else. So after that incident I start to do something new- reading manga most likely BL. When I first read JR I fell in love with it. I really can relate to this because some incidents in this manga also happened to me and my bf. There are ups and downs but the main characters did their best to overcome these obstacles. I hope all the pairing here will have a happy ending. Thank you nakamura-sensei for sharing this wonderful manga to us. I really learned a lot. Sorry for my long story it's just that I miss him so much and today is the date when he died. I miss you so much. Don't worry i'm always going to smile and keep on living. :)" Even though he said that he's always going to smile, sometimes I see him like he's kinda down though he shows that he's smiling I know that deep down he's sad especially when there are times or incidents that reminds him of his past with his bf..I know that somewhere in his heart he still can't forget about what happened before, can anyone suggest me what should I do to cheer him up even just a little bit, I gave everything that I can but it's not enough..please help!! I really want to help my friend. :((

This is fucking hurts.
I love this guy for ten years and I thought that I'll wait for us to graduate college and in the that time will make my self better before confessing. But Im so stupid stupid stupid. Im a woman and that didn't work like that. He has his own life for godsake. Why did I think that by making myself better would make us end up together. I can't even express myself properly. But I so love him. I can't even make myself love someone else. I've met other guys but no matter how good-looking and kind they are to me, he's always the one I want.
And now he's getting married. And I don't know what to feel. Angry? I don't have the rights. Sad? I'm beyond that. Happy? Part of me is happy but that part is swallowed by jealousy. Why can't it be me?
I have loved him longer. Its so heart-breaking. Im so stupid for thinking like this. He isn't mine.
I miss his "Good Night"s and "Good Morning"s, his "Sweet Dreams" and "Have a happy day". I guess everyone who's in love always misunderstood words like that. I don't know anymore...

i'm bored...... don't know what to read anymore.....waiting for the new chap or manga (づ￣ ³￣)づ

This morning I was reading a doujinshi of Haikyuu!! I already read it but I really love KageHina so I reread it everytime.. My parents know how much I love anime and manga to point where they wont get mad when I sleep tell 3'am.My father is a fan of anime speciallyy sports anime so he already watched the anime of Haikyu!! While I was reading the doujinshi my father was right beside me .I though he wont look at the compute because he was watching anie. But then he saw the manga that Im reading he asked me "Isnt that hinata and kageyama from Haikyuu!!?? I answered " yes" I was a little bit scared because the next page was the kissing scene .then he asked me "Oh , I see so thats why you told me that your're following the manga.So what happened hinata is blushing?? I was like "dad he has a fever thats why hes face is red" the excuse i made."Oh I see" He went back watching anime . I was like Lol hahahahahahhahaahha ,I cant stop laughing to think the next page was the kiss scene then the next is the sex scene. So glad I didnt wear headphone lol xD

Hey guys I just want to do a Mangago user appreciation. Who do you think in Mangago deserve a really good shout out and appreciation? (〜￣△￣)〜

lazy~lazy~ murasakibara kawaaaiii ><
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vajQ1b6soeI