beta
I was baited to read this because of the art style and I loved the way the sex scenes are drawn, and I loved where the story was going at first but I got irritated when Akira decided to quit rock climbing and make Kazuma the center of his universe (and not in an endearing or fun kind of way)
I get that he struggles with relationships because he never had friends or a lover before. He is scared to lose the person he loves. But his level of obsession is so off-putting to me. Usually I dont care much about that. In fact I love when a couple is all over each other and is obsessing over one another. I can even handle a lot of toxicity in a BL, crazy amounts of it. But that's only because we hardly ever get to see the more in depth connections the main characters have with people outside their little lover's nest. We only ever catch a glimpse of their lives outside of their relationship. Very surface level stuff that you hardly pay much attention to anything other than the couples.
Here we got to see how evolved and happy Akira was at finding friends and a hobby. It upset me to see him reduce himself to just some lovesick guy. His whole life people treated him like he was some boring robotic loser. He just needed to find the right people that understood him, encouraged him, and helped him out of his shell little by little. But you're telling me he is willing to throw that all away for one person? I hate it. Kazuma is willing to go out of his way for his friends, and he can have a life outside of their relationship so why cant Akira do that too? Its unfair.
Anyways. That being said, I got bored really quick after that and I found myself skipping through most of it, even the sex scenes. That never happens for me. Like we all know why we are here. We cant pass on some incredible and beautifully drawn smut. But the author HAD to get real and give us actual plot that made the story more fun to read, only to have it all taken away in the most annoying way possible :')
I kept going though because it seemed like they were able to resolve their issues, they communicated their concerns it was all going okay and BAM. We are back at square one. Akira is out here tryna make friends with the neighbor, trying to grow as a person only for him to get held back yet again.
Like is this supposed to be a sexy and wholesome bl? Or was it always meant to be sexy and toxic? I can live with it being one or the other but not both. Don't play with my emotions this way （￣へ￣）