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Hello lovely people and thank you for your advice. I have recently just finished my finals exams they were hellish please do wish me luck and do keep me in your prayers. Now I do feel that I owe an update on recent events about what has happened regarding my question. There were alot of grounds that I didn't cover about his mistreatments or his good treatment but I still do believe that this was the correct choice of things considering I left a key aspect out which was that we were in an interfaith relationship. Both of our faiths consider marrying out side of it as blasphemy and believe I've mentioned that we are in a conservative country so we were putting ourselves and families at risk.
I'm ngl I was ready to risk my world and my belief of heaven for him if he had just treated me better. I have also sacrificed colleges, friends, and family relations so I would be able to leave everything I know behind to be with him and it would have been 100% loving choice to make it he had just treated me better.
Just yesterday I decided to initiate the breakup since I just couldn't put up with him anymore. I wanted to wait for my birthday which was coming up in 2 weeks just to see if he would remember or care enough to make it special( speaking of birthdays not once has he thought to throw me an even small gathering of friends let alone a party but was absolutely willing to do so for a coworker of his). Anyways I just couldn't accept him anymore I couldn't accept his advances, I couldn't accept his efforts , his words , his anything I just couldn't believe what ever it is he was trying to do/say.
I really do not know how to word it better or how to get the point across but I just don't trust him anymore to the point where I cannot believe his actions or words are done out of actual love.
Anyways he didn't take to well for me asking for a breakup even though he consistently would ask me if I wanted to break up over the course of last month and maybe even before that. If he knew something was up I do not understand why he didn't attempt to fix it instead of continuing to mistreat me even though around this time I have also tried to accept and trust him but truly his lack of everything has made it damn near impossible for me.
Continuing what happened. He cried he sobbed he begged for another chance I've listed all my issues with our relationship and that I have tried to fix it for the past god knows what where he basically gave me nothing but disappointment in return. I also told him that I'm no longer willing to jeopardize my future my family my anything for him anymore because even the basic thing such as paying attention to me he couldn't/wouldn't do.
That he rather call me needy when all I wanted was just to be loved by him.
I continuously stood my ground and I still do believe that we should break it off and it would never work anymore since I no longer accept him as a future husband and that I'm not longer willing to even sacrificing the tiniest of seconds for him.
He has been going through a tough time since I have decided to withdraw from our relationship but hadn't yet initiated the breakup. I'll call this period the " you are on thin fucking ice period."
He has lost his job due to his dumbassery tbh it was all his fault he has also made the dumb decision to put all his savings in stocks without telling me. Not that he needs my permission but his family has a history with being absolute idiots when it comes to shit like this. And also the country which he currently resides in he doesn't speak it's language as fluently as I do so I usually would help him with translations ,government documents , emails, what ever it is I would always help him when it came to linguistics. So him not knowing what the stocks do or what they say is beyond why the fuck would a person do that ? Anyways after he called me crying telling me what happened since the stock rapidly declined (surprise surprise) he did not listen to my advice even though I told him to wait it out and it would rise again by the end of that specific month. He didn't listen and guess fucking what ? It did rise rapidly again but not before his dumb ass has withdrew his savings after a slight rise leaving him with around 2k loss from stocks and even higher losses due to him using a dumb option he didn't even tell me about and he didn't know what it does.
So he has been going through alot of dumb decisions that has weighed on his mental health. But jesus Christ talking about it out loud just is wild to me. I may just add that this isn't his first rodeo when it comes to iq deficiency there has been plenty of dumb moments out of him which is unexpected since he is usually supposed to be a level headed guy.
So anyways due to his certain circumstances and me finding it a bit unfair that I've been grieving the relationship longer than he has and have clearly seen it as unfit for a while and have also emotionally withdrew from it. We have came to a compromise a 1 week break. The 1 week break isn't for me I am already both feet out the door , but it is for him. It's for him to 1 get used to me not being around 2 sort of pay back to see how horrible it is being ignored by the person u like 3 that he also has time to grieve our inevitable demise such as I had.
After that week is over I'll ask to breakup again because I for certainly do not want this man to be my future husband anymore nor do I want my children to take after him. Wether it be his way of thinking his religious ideology or his mannerisms that seem non existent at sometimes.
And to believe all that was a domino effect of him sending me a reel of a boyfriend giving his girlfriend a jacket( which may I add never ever has he done that for me). Truly has put alot of things in perspective for me it was a huge slap which has woken me up from an extremely delusional dream.
I won't say that I'm not upset and that I am not hurt
I truly and deeply am and as I'm currently writing this my eyes are clouded by an ocean of tears.
But it is truly what's the best for both of us and for our futures. It is clearly apparent that our paths in life and death are complete opposites.
I truly do wish him nothing but the best and I truly am not the best for him nor is he for me.
I'll do continue to pray for him since it's been a part of me for so long but that's the extent of what I am able to offer.
Thank you guys for taking the time to read my absolute bullshit of a sob story and for your kindly words and advice I wish to update you soon with more positive news. Thank you all and goodbye for now