this is why dependency never works! the misunderstandings r awful but I’m glad the seme is gonna realize their relationship is more than just the uke relying on him
The latest chapter has been haunting me so much that I literally had nightmares. I need the next update fr. But anyway here’s what I think. Chowon is literally batshit crazy. Now, I’m not saying he deserves to live in pain and be lonely for the rest of his life. HOWEVER he has not changed. The beta has obviously experienced chowon’s harshness and mood swings. Chowon refused treatment and denies that he’s the one in the wrong. For this, no one would blame the beta for dumping his ass. Yes, chowon deserves happiness too, but after he’s realized he is in the wrong and actually tries to better himself.
Come down Jamal
u don’t UNDERSTAND chowon is HAUNTING. ME
SO THIS CHAPTER IS THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM... FUCK... I WANT CHOWON TO SUFFER BUT ALSO I WANNA SEE MY BETA DADDY HAPPY.....
As someone who has gone through abuse, I completely understand the uke. The uke was being hard on himself, blaming himself for everything, doing things that he didn’t really want to do but felt as if he needed to in order to be this thing he made himself out to be. Not gonna lie, at multiple times while reading this manga, my heart and body ached so bad. This manga truly made me feel the pain of misunderstood love. the seme was stubborn because he was in love, and you know what, maybe it’s unrealistic, but I sure as hell love the idea of it. Love so deep and passionate that the other’s insecurities can’t drive you away. The uke was insecure about himself, but he wasn’t dependent. The seme loved the uke no matter what but he wasn’t stupid as if to let himself be used. I feel that the balance was perfect between the two, and I really admire the pacing and growth of these characters throughout the 12 chapters.
I was also pleasantly surprised with the ex (the abuser) even healing from his own wounds and owning up to his mistakes. (And I’ve always hated the idea of abusers healing, thinking of my own abuser, because it makes them seem as a better person, but I didn’t feel that way at all here. It felt natural and healthy.) That’s something very rare that you see in bl. I thought it was well done.
As for the seme being cold to the woman, I understand from his point of view. But I also think he was too unsympathetic for it to be cold. He was insensitive and he was wrong, but he is also not some wise man who was giving them advice because he wanted to. He never claimed to be an expert, though he certainly acted like it. Victim blaming is always wrong no matter the circumstance. Nothing will ever excuse you for laying your hands on someone. You don’t like how she acted, divorce her! Leave her! Tell her that you don’t like what she did! Hitting someone will never ever be the answer. But at the same time this woman also felt guilty (by stating that she went out for diners when asked if she did anything that could’ve been misunderstood), just as the uke did, probably thinking she deserved to be hit. It’s this mindset that victims often develop after a long period of abuse; they get used to it and the abuser’s gaslighting works, they feel guilty. It’s not her fault, under no circumstances, but I understand how the seme could’ve gotten confused.
Anyway it’s 5 am, I need sleep, I did not intend to write this much about a bl, but here we are. If you read this far down, let me know your opinions :)
Cheers to you my friend!
Loved every word in this statement
Not only does it portray such an amazing couple and the realities of being gay (specifically in Japanese culture), but I’m seeing all these beautiful discussions in the comments. It’s amazing to see how many people have written paragraphs discussing (NOT fighting) about how they view this manga. I think it’s wonderful and incredible how the mangaka was able to create something so special as this manga that raised so many discussions and questions and opinions.
Rape?
Their both under the influence of alcohol and the same age so I don't think so....
It’s rape. And obviously the uke is way more drunk. He said multiple time he’s drunk. He even passed out.
There is legit no such thing as long as one ingested achohol in the past 24 hrs they are in no place to give consent. And they both did and lets be clear I am pretty sure the use is his senpai from school. So if anything he is raping the same. You can trust my judgment I did nudge classes last semester (￣ ³￣)
your reply is so stupid that I literally have no idea how to respond
audacity....
I thought this was cute and the way they discussed bottoming seemed fair to me. They both were in the positions they wanted they just didn’t know how to communicate properly. So they had a fight, but then made up and talked about it. Besides the seme even said he would bottom of the uke really wanted to. It’s funny seeing all these (and I’m going to assume here because of the complete ignorance in all their comments) girls saying “normalize switching” or whatever. Like you don’t know fuck about someone’s relationship. How would you know whats better for someone’s sexual relationship? Just because you have an idealized version of a “healthy gay couple” doesn’t mean it’s correct. Not every couple is the same whether gay or straight, so I don’t see why they all have to be switches.This seme wasnt toxic at all, honestly he gave the uke a lot of space and even stopped when he started crying. I liked the first story and I wasn’t really comment anything but it frustrates me seeing people idolizing only one way of being gay. As if being switch is the ultimate healthy form of being a gay man.
Actually most of the comments ive seen on switching are more like "ew no the seme doesn't look good as an uke idk why people like switches its so weird seeing them change positions"
But it ties in to what you were saying. Its their relationship so if they dont like it. They have the option to not read it.
I'm more bothered with how Miyashita phrased it and more so with using "it feels more natural" to justify himself and making it seem like Maki wasn't satisfied instead of thinking of it as they're both men who could give. It gives the idea that Maki is a "woman" who is expected to receive. Because Maki wasn't even gay in the first place, he was fixated with his virginity which makes the whole thing more insulting. And yeah, don't worry I dropped reading it because I didn't like it. But in terms of "normalizing switching", I agree to the extent that both parties have a say in it rather than the top insulting the bottom for even wanting to switch.
using mental illness as a plot device. veryyyy cool. (Im being sarcastic) I hope the seme doesn’t feel pity for chowon and starts dating him bc of that. I hope chowon learns how to heal and move on. And then maybe hopefully after chowon is stable, they’ll both start dating. I don’t want love to be chowon’s cure because that never works out and the author would be sending out a dangerous message. Ofc, it’s bl so i guess it never mattered what kind of message it was.
I dont get why you sgould be sarcastic with mental illness being part of the story. Its normal in stories tho.
it’s really not. Mental illnesses and disabilities are so so rare in BLs and it hurts to see that it’s being seen as just something that will move the plot along and not as a character that is very much in need of help. Chowon has no substance other than his mental illness. His whole character is based on the fact that he’s hurt so many people (and ohhh that’s bc of his mental illness). Sure, the author is taking chowon’s mental illness more seriously than other authors I’ve read. But still. As a mentally ill person, if you can’t draw or write characters with mental illnesses correctly, then don’t do it at all :/ anyway that’s just my current thought tbh I haven’t thought about it a lot. I’ll probably come back in a few days and think something different.
Im sorry but if its the case then let it be. Should he die then because of what he did? Or lose a limb, be blind or get more punishment? I myself am suffering from manic depression and adhd with bouts of MDD and MAD and i can relate how uncontrollable episodes are when it is untreated. If you think that he's not portraying someone with mental illness properly, then thats your description of your illness. Id rather be shown redemption for people with mental illness than think theyre the worst villains who existed. Chowon was spoiled and even his parents didnt even bother to check whats wrong with him and given he's rich, he can always run away with it hence no one bothered to even check if theres something wrong with him. Even dojun wasn't concerned when he went too much. Im smart, i win competitions, get top grades amd multiple scholarships. I am brash with my words and get obsessive with my actions resulting to hurting others and myself but do you know how many people actually voiced out that something is wrong with me? None. No one. Why? Because they'd rule it out as something else as being smart and know it all rather than actually thinking if there was something really wrong with me. I had friends drift away and got a few school warnings but they always ruled it out that the other who've ive hurt was the one being bad cos i was the top student. They all believed in me. I was lucky i got diagnosed early but it took me 3 suicide attempts to actually get checked and be diagnosed. Yes what chowon did was horrible and tbh with his actions, he should be in prison and he is lucky to even be roaming around freely but i can relate how he is and i am definitely scared if i didnt start therapy and medications, i might have ended as bad as he is.
Also to add, he is taking medications however that doesnt mean thats the end of it. It just wasnt showed explicitly but he is doing as what doctors prescribed
Okay I’ve thought about it more, and I agree. He’s an accurate representation of someone with mental illnesses (whatever those maybe from bpd to narcissism) and someone who has gone through severe trauma (which he has, chowon has lived a shitty life surrounded by shitty circumstances). I know that mental illnesses aren’t pretty and that healing isn’t linear. I KNOW that. I guess what I don’t like is that Chowon has no personality. There is nothing we know about him before his trauma. He is his trauma. And while that might be accurate for some people, I feel like I am more than my mental illness. I am funny, smart, patient, and even though I’ve made many mistakes and hurt many people, i deserve love. What we have from chowon: violin, maybe sarcasm (?). Maybe I’m missing something too, but there’s not much to chowon. And he definitely, DEFINITELY deserves healing and a second chance. Everyone does (and if you’ve seen other comments I’ve made on this bl then you’ll see I’m consistent with this thought). But I don’t want love to be a cure all, which is what I think this bl is heading to. That’s what I mean by mental illness being a plot device. Mentally ill to overdosing to pity to romantic relationship. Maybe I’ll be wrong. Maybe not. I don’t mean to hurt anyone or invalidate anyone with my thoughts though! I’m sorry if you felt hurt, that was not my intention and hopefully I’ve fixed that with this comment.
Okok i understand. I think what the story just missed is that chowons ongoing medication and doctor appointment. I do agree that love shouldnt what heals him and i think its just gonna ruin him having a romantic relationship when he's not yet stable. Just that i widh the author put more context with chowon than just simply an narcissist.