Gitchq's Favorite

I totally agree with everyone else. It hurts even more to know it was once love. Real love. I hate the reality that love just isn't enough sometimes, this time it was poverty.

I would also hope like Na Haesu, that in the face of struggle and poverty, me and my partner would push through it together. As long as we're together, but that's when you see whether you'll stick or fall apart.

They definitely do also seem like their own ML and FL main romance couple in a manhwa back in highschool. But time skipped to the future, the part you don't see, is the tragic downfall of them.

And yeah, this has scared me more about marriage too. If only I could really know people's real selves before getting into a relationship. Sometimes people are just such good liars. I wish that Mincheol was truly sincere in the things he did for Na Haesu, though low-key what if everything he was doing good was just him trying to overcompensate for something bad about himself.

Like, does anybody remember that Ned Fulmer guy going on and on about his wife like it was his whole brand? Then he was caught cheating. Unexpected, or was it? If you look back and see his choice of words and opinions, it would occasionally shine a light on his true colors. So it turns out his whole I love my wife thing was just a mask to hide his cheating side.

Same with John Mulaney. I love my wife jokes. But in the end, they really were just jokes. Cuz when pandemic hit in 2020, he cheated on her and had a son with another celebrity during the affair, therefore him forcefully ending the marriage without the wife having a chance to consider staying with him. And we were also clowns for putting a crown on him, saying John Mulaney and his wife were Hades and Persephone and stuff. Once again, it turns out all his I love my wife talk was probably something done out of subconscious guilt for being unfaithful or his potential unfaithfulness.

So Mincheol in highschool would do all this for Na Haesu. Give her something each morning, working hard to buy her a phone, calling her wifey in public. All sweet and good things. But does it secretly just try to compensate for a bad nature he could be hiding?

"The trust of the innocent is a liar's most useful tool."

I don't want to believe that we live in a world where when a guy is being romantic and sweet to you actually means that they're bad. But do try to see if beyond all the kindness could be mal intentions.

(Low-key if they announce their love in front of everybody around or in public in a way that's too loud or repetitively, it could be them just trying to build an image for themselves that they love their partner so they won't be suspected otherwise. They're mostly just trying to convince others and themselves. It's like that one story in the Bible. A man who prays in public, but just so that others would see him praying, not because they're sincerely faithful.)

There's this thing they say couples should try to do, though it's not 100% guarantee, is going on a backpacking trip together. Especially somewhere difficult. There'll be a lot of walking, limited food and water, tiring amounts of travelling without much rest. Because it's easy to stay together through the good and peaceful times with each other, but put yourselves in the worst conditions, then see how you treat each other. Because in the many years you'll stay together, something just as difficult as this trip could one day strike you two.

Anyways that's all my yapping.

I swear to God seeing what happened to YW and getting a chance to see everything from JH's perspective is so jarring because while YW is suffering throughout Middle School JH was living his best life completely unaware of what YW was going through.

I'm going to be completely honest seeing their relationship through JH'S eyes is so sad because in the beginning he felt like YW was this precious little brother who he would always be there for and eventually over time their relationship on his side started to feel like a burden. Like just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

And I can 100% understand why JH felt like that and it also puts into a greater context that their relationship being codependent has always been that way. they have always been in a codependent relationship. And now what JH said to nari makes a lot more sense because he told her that he was the reason why YW is not growing. And he's right because it is his fault that YW has not grown since middle school. The fact that when JH saw that YW was doing perfectly fine without him he felt jealous and kind of dissatisfied is proof that their relationship was not healthy from the get-go.

But as the reader I'm so attached to them both and I want them both to stay friends but Haesol is right. they need space from each other because they cannot be near each other and just have a normal relationship. it's going to go back into being a codependent one the moment something bad happens.

Like the more this goes on my emotions are telling me I want them to stay friends they have to stay together but then my head is telling me they need to stay apart just for a while because if they stay together they're going to end up hurting each other more than helping. (╥﹏╥)

UGGH THIS IS SO CONFLICTING. (ノ｀Д´)ノ彡┻━┻

What is victim-blaming? Why do we do it? Why is it so wrong?

Victim blaming is a phenomenon in which victims are held accountable for the crimes or tragedies that happened to them. Blaming the victim can convince people that such horrific things will never happen to them (i will delve into that later).

The fundamental attraction error is one of the psychological phenomenons that contributes to the tendency of blaming victims. This bias involves attributing other people's behaviour to internal/personal characteristics while ignoring external forces and variables that could have influenced it. When Yeonwoo didnt tell anybody about his bullying as it got worse, you probably linked that to his internal characteristics. You could have thought that Yeonwoo was weak-willed, prideful, stupid or a straight up sissy. However, If YOU were sexually harrased and told an adult only to have your feelings invalidated, your experience downplayed, your harrasment only get worse and harm the only friend you have, all at the age of 13, would you be able to tell someone? Many would say that they wouldn't out of fear that the adults around them would ignore them again and the bullying only end up something way worse. Especially since you would have fear and humiliation instilled into you.

Another bias that contributes to the issue of victim blaming is the hindsight bias. "When we look at an event that happened in the past, we have a tendency to believe that we should have been able to see the signs and predict the outcome.This hindsight makes it seem like the victims of a crime, accident, or another form of misfortune should have been able to predict and prevent whatever problem might have befallen them" - Kendra Cherry MSEd.
This happens all the time not just with sexual violence or bullying, when someone becomes ill we often try to attribute the blame onto them by searching for something that could have been seen as a 'sign' or a 'warning'.
A collapsed lung? Should've stopped vaping. Liver failure? Well i guess she shouldn't have drank so much. Viral Gastroenteritis? You should've known better than to eat at that restaurant.
In these cases we often suggest that the other person should've simply known or expected such things to happen because of their behaviour but, in reality, there was no true way of knowing.

Victim-Blaming can also stem from the belief that the world is fair and just, even if you say it isnt true you could actually believe it subconciously without realising. We often think that when something bad happens to someone else they must have done something to deserve it, whether it was past or current wrongs.
You must be thinking, why do we even put our faith this 'just-world' phenomenon? Well if we believe the world isnt fair or just, then we realise that anybody, loved ones, friends, strangers and even you yourself could fall into tragedy. No matter are careful, cautious or responsible you are, bad things can happen to anyone and everyone whether they are a good person or not. But by lying to ourselves that the world is fair, believing that everyone deserves or let the bad things that happened to them happen and blaming the victim. People protect the self-created illusion that such horrible things will never happen to them.

"But bad things can and probably will happen to you at some point in your life. So the next time you find yourself wondering what someone else did to bring on their misfortune, take a moment to consider the psychological attributions and biases that affect your judgment. Rather than blame the victim, try putting yourself in that person’s shoes and perhaps try a little empathy instead". - Verywellmind

I really like this manga, since it's tried to take a very inclusive and realistic approach to the issues, however i do have a few things to say

1) I definitely believe that Tsubasa and Seto shouldn't get together at the end. Tsubasa needs to apologize to Seto properly and come to terms with her own self as well

2) What Tsubasa did was extremely wrong and rude, but it's honestly understandable. She has been raised in an extremely sheltered manner, which is seen from the way she idolises pure romance and has zero thoughts of sex. To her sex is something dirty and disgusting. She doesn't want to intentionally harm Seto, but her previous beliefs are clashing with the new inclusiveness she's trying to achieve. It's like her brain is telling her that she's in the wrong and that she needs to correct her mistake asap, but her heart is stuck in the past and is finding it hard to differentiate rape and sex and especially since the case is with a boy being raped

3) The new adult character a.k.a the coffee shop owner, needs to properly reject Seto. I'm sure she's understood that Seto's love stems from admiration and respect towards her, and that Seto is confusing being comfortable with a woman, with liking someone romantically. The author needs to make them have a proper solid discussion about his issues and about his "love" towards the coffee shop owner. It is not something that is to be solved with a date.
Also why the fuck would the author make them go on a date?? It's clear that the coffee shop owner understands that Seto is underage and that she herself doesn't see him in a romantic light either, so the fact that someone like her would suggest a date, completely invalidates whatever her character was supposed to stand for

4) I'm glad that Seto's friends are supportive of him, but as the other girl had said, it would simply make things worse if a third party intervened. And by that I'm not saying that they shouldn't try to correct Tsubasa, I'm saying that the ones to make her realise her mistake should be her friends, not Seto's friends. The reasoning being that if it's her friends correcting her, then the impact will be much more than if Seto's friends did it. As is clear from the latest chapter, where Aya calling out Tsubasa's hypocrisy forces Tsubasa to confront herself and rectify herself

5) Ofc it's about Seto himself. He needs to seek a proper therapy session on a daily basis. The school nurse is definitely a great help, but it cannot be everything he relies on. He needs a proper professional who can help him actually come to terms with the horrible experience he suffered and try to move on from it.
Also I'm glad Seto's friends are so supportive, but the moment Seto showed signs of relapse, they should've prevented Seto from trying to get into a relationship. Now I'm aware that different people have different healing methods, but healing cannot come from a relationship which is clearly being idealised and forced. Seto is trying too hard to overcome his fear of women, and his idea of doing so is through getting into a relationship to be "normal". Thats completely opposite of what he should be doing, since a relationship at this stage, where it's clear most partners would be unable to come to terms with Seto's past experience, would simply worsen his PTSD. They are in highschool man, it's obvious that most people will be conflicted to know that their partner has been raped, since rape is a taboo topic in general, and on top of that male rape is something most people refuse to believe even exist


So basically what I'm trying to say is, that the most realistic approach the author can take is making Tsubasa coming to terms with herself and properly apologizing to Seto for her hurtful comments and make them go their own way instead of them getting into a relationship.
Like please, signs of healing from sexual assault or rape is not the fact that you can now be in a relationship. Tru signs of healing is when you are able to let things go for the sake of your own mental well-being, and realising that you don't have to be in a relationship for the sake of it.