So I never expect realistic depictions of BDSm in manga or any fiction really, and this manga already had some things I found unrealistic, but this chapter has kinda rubbed me the wrong way. I can read non-consent fiction a it is literally fiction and satisfies my non-consent consent play kink in real life (actual BDSM lifestyle sub here :)) but I was so hoping this story with these two wouldn't do anything as messed up as this with this couple. I see tons of comments saying Chanwoo should be ok with this cause that how BDSM is but that just a piece of shit sorry. While everyone like spontaneity, in healthy BDSM relationships even if you're just going to do a scene with a person once, you negotiate everything that will happen before you start. This is completely not consensual because while MD has had consent with Chanwoo in the past that doesn't give consent to these actions now and is backing him into a corner and giving an ultimatum instead of a proper safeword system or something similar. Consent doesn't involve having to lose something by saying no, thats manipulative. Before I do a scene with a partner I like to do inclusive consent negotiation which means I would list everything I'd be okay with doing in that scene and that would them only mean that those things discussed are ok and nothing else. I don't when or exactly how each thing will be done (ex: impact play or breath-play etc.) but I know that if my consent is being respected they wont humiliate me in ways I didn't say were ok or try something I didn't approve of beforehand. So MD is being a piece of shit both partner and person but also Dom here and I'd never want to play with him and good people involved in the community talk to each other and recommend each other to people when they have a good reputation and there is no tolerance for assholes like what MD is doing in most communities. Just made me mad to see him treat Chanwoo like this and hurt him when he was acting before like he'd never do anything to hurt him seeing how many times he'd been abused before. Also since I've seen so many people sorta blaming Chanwoo for being abused by saying he picked bad boyfriends there never any excuse for someone being abused in any way. Well I guess this was my rant for this if you read all this hopefully you saw a different perspective or learned something about real life BDSM actions in most cases. Thanks, hoping this manga can redeem this issue in my eyes, safe sane and consensual always!
You don't know how many people treated me like an idiot because I said what happened in the chapter rubbed me the wrong way
They were all like this is bdsm
And since I know very little o said ok
Thank you for your input
I'm glad I could help. BDSM is consentual anything else is abuse. If a partner did this to me I'd either find the courage to stop or be pretty scared anything not agreed upon isn't ok and just because you said yes once or at the begining that doesn't mean you can't say no later. That goes for everyone BDSM or not. You can only slap me in the face if I said it was ok which I often would haha.
(づ￣ ³￣)づ
Beautifully said, thank you!
Yaas!! That is so true...!!
I personally think that MD let his emotions take over his Dom side...so he's acting the wrong way now!... it's still not okay...!!
It's probably hard for non BDSM involved too understand...bc they think a Dom can do pretty much everything and the sub could use the safeword when they don't want something....they don't know much about the things that are more behind the scene...!! Like the list you mentioned
But thank you that you explained it so well..( thank God so I don't have to do it)
ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
Thank you for this! They have no idea what they are talking about! I actually worry this readers will think this kinda abuse is alright even if it happens to than.
I myself am a virgin, a 20y old one, but even I know (since I read a lot and I am at least a bit sensible) that this is a horrible depiction of BDSM. I can only imagine how revolting it is for you to read comments justifying the abuse with phrases like “but they are in a Dom/sub relationship, this is normal”!
How they can believe this scene is a “normal occurrence” in a relationship that should be all about trust and feeling good, being happy and accepting yourself, is beyond me.
Thanks for the support. I never worry about someone if they want to keep reading (I know I want to see how this ends) but I feel like a just have to mention when I see unrealistic depictions of BDSM as it shapes peoples views of how it is in the real world and perpetuates its connections with abuse. Hurts me to see people justify abuse or victim shame, anyone, anywhere in any type of relationship. thanks for reading my long-ass comment!
It's so true...!!
And I can understand all the points you made..!! .
And I'm honestly a big fan of this manga...! I know that it involves some things that aren't alright and I tend to don't take them in that much..bc it's just fiction..but it's still not alright...young readers can't take this apart from fiction...they might think that it's alright to rape someone bc they're in a relationship or they don't understand the bdsm parts and why it is wrong right now...!! And I must say that manga has such a high ranking bc of the art..and it is amazing tbh...but it's not all and it's toxic..I can't explain it that's well...I hope you understand (￣∇￣")
bruh I can’t see this as Consensual and safe BDSM. everyone knows that, it is just they are much louder in commenting.
Finally there are good discussions and replies and threads on other comments now! I even recognised the usernames because the same people are speaking up! I can finally rest now (it is 5:30 am here in Brasil)
I do understand this is fiction, but there is a difference in thinking of something as a hot fantasy that you would never accept in real life and thinking this is actually normal. A think famous mangakas writing ROMANTINC stories should be more responsible, but still, I believe the readers are the ones who need to discern what would be ok in real life or wouldn’t. So while I didn’t like this development in the story and the depiction of these events as romantic, what made me worried were the comments implying this was normal and totally ok
Wow! You're so cool! And yeah, MD is quite crossing the line (￣ε(#￣)Σ
I just tried to educate someone by referring them to another informative thread and they were like "no, thanks - not interested". #－.－)
Why bother commenting and stating your harmful opinions when you are not up for discussion? They don't even try to understand our side. So sad!
Same! I've been keeping an eye on the comments and I've found lots of easy going educated people. Finally I was able to relate to someone.
I commented on how I felt early on and people tore me apart calling me names. Glad some people came around!
It's dangerous to not recognize the red flags even in fictional stories. That can transfer to real life real quick!
Right? its always so frustrating when i read some manga and comments ale like "Healty BDSM, we love to see it" when in fact what you read is far from healty or consenting...all we can hope for is that these young readers will grow out of it.
EXACTLY! We can only hope. If not, these commenters and everyone in their life will suffer the consequences of such a mindset.
Yikes!
yeah, i'm still waiting for some really healthy depiction in manga/manhwa
Same!
The only nice relationship with role plays i can think of is Henai Maotoko-hen from Harada of all people lol.
Hahaha true. Also you know what you get into when you read harada.
He/she doesn't try to excuse disgusting behaviour, she actually explores how sick some people are. It's refreshing cause it's usually dark, disgusting and raw!
Not everyone's cup of tea but still.
Exactly, it's never glamorised and i love it....then he/she decides to do some healthy story and im surprised, because im so used to reading fucked up stuff they make.
So true! I always do a double take on her fluffy stories. Sometimes I just expect the worst to happen and when it doesn't it feels weird. Harada has fucked us up that's for sure ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
I agree and one of this comment on my insta said MD has rights to manipulate Chanwoo am because he’s the Dom really attacked me then the person proceed to say love and abuse doesn’t matter in the BDSM which I strongly disagree, because In the BdSM community we’re supposed to have consent with eachother but Chanwoo didnt know he was gonna kiss he new kid and the new kid didn’t even get his consent, then mD smacked him, mind in fact Chanwoo just got humiliated, plus who remember chap 37 when MD got mad and took the anger out on Chanwoo? but didn’t surprise me that Chanwoo liked it, but people are saying Md tryna get Chanwoo to say the safe word, and how about if he doesn’t, to me mD doesn’t seem any different from the ex, MD needs to give Chanwoo therapy instead of hurting him even more it’s like saying I love you so I’m gonna abuse you to show you a lesson? And when it’s that shit it’s not longer safe BdSM and probably not even bdsm at all, and mind in fact MD knows Chanwoo toxic relationship and he chose to still act like this
Well said ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
As someone who participates in the same world of Dom Sub kinda thing, I was very happy that the end showed them in a happy healthy relationship. So many manga with S&M in them always have unhappy endings showing this often times most caring and trustworthy lifestyle in a bad light.
yep yep like its a mutual thing, in some mangas it is like a crime (￣ε(#￣)Σ smh
hi unrelated but how did you get into the bdsm scene / what do you recommend for someone who's interested but still new? never thought i would post this on a manga forum but hey, fandom
does it matter which genre, like you want to read yaoi, yuri,or hetero?
Great question, I don't participate in it right now being single, but I believe that doing a lot of research and getting as much knowledge about your interests is the best place to start. Afterwards if you are of age (18+, that's the age to safely be able to consent to BDSM acts globally) going out and meeting other people in the community in person is a grest way to start. Hope that helped, always stay safe and consensual :)
Good input. I find that it’s hard to find good bdsm communities. Not because they’re not there, but prob bec they’re so well hidden and tight knit.
Where/how would you suggest is a good place to look for such good bdsm communitites?
1000% agree
felt good to find a manga that addresses eating disorders. I understand the fear of getting fat scares the shit outta me
is it strange that dick makes me think of john smith from Pocahontas? idk it's just the face or something oh and thnx for the update:)
hahaha so funny
I have to remove this image of my brain now XD
Lol right he does look like John smith I just couldn't put my finger on it.
The lack of negotiation with this story is bugging me. It held so much potential and so far seems to be falling short for a BDSM story. I think as someone in the real BDSM community who goes to events clubs, met my bf at one and has many friends of all backgrounds in the community I can be extra critical at times. I have yet to find more than one or two manga or manhwa that showed pretty good representations.
I know what you mean, I was kinda hoping when he saw the sub in a panic he will help calm them down with some after care or something. Didn't expect him to just kiss them and be okay yep that's it.
Yeah, like he said, oh it sucks you didn’t like it but here is a kiss, you’ll forgive me and get over it correct? Totally brushed off his concerns. Not everyone is into humiliation play. （￣へ￣）
Yep I was just screaming like please for the love of god give him some after care