Michio's Topics (5)

I don't think it's important, I think it was just a random fellow who is one of the higher ups, but jinwah used his name as a conversion

Well, we know his father cut his knot top, what I assume it's a very humiliating thing to do as a sign of dishonor or something like that even more if it's public. If the father humiliated his own son like this in public eyes, we can only imagine what would go in the house. It has be to about Seungho's sexuality... maybe the father tried to beat the gay out of him? Or even killed someone he cared about after catching them?
It's pretty clear Seungho hates his father and even the mention of him is distressing.

My goodness I missed this in the previous chapters or I just completely missed those information. I have to reread, I guess, but thank you for the explanation.

This is interesting. In which chapter they say his father cut his knot top? Thank you

It's in the very beginning I dont remember where but yea his dad did do that

I think it's the very first chapter, just after they met. It's Nakyum's remembering where he had heard of Seungho's before.
Around chapter 12 was the part where the old servant mentioning that he has served Seungho for ten years and still is afraid of him... that is very unstable and with violent mood swings because he has been badly hurt in the past. This is just after Seungho slapped NK thinking that he had ruined the painting on purpose and order to beat him up in the mat... but then changed his mind and send the servant to treat him.

I found it, Thank you!

Yes, it is the first chapter, thanks!

I'd like to think that he is aware that Yashiro dismissing him like that was just talk, and that he shouldn't take it to heart. That Yashiro was doing what he thought was best, in order to protect Doumeki from (him) being killed. It was only the day before, so Doumeki still has memories of Yashiro's words and tears in his mind. I think Doumeki feels that Yashiro is in love with Kageyama, and wont let anyone else in, which is true to an extent, but it's not like Yashiro is going to act on his unrequited love. I think Doumeki is frustrated that Kageyama never picked up on Yashiro's feelings, the scene where Doumeki apologised personally to Kageyama about the shooting, because he was aware of the connection. Or when he expresses jealousy about Kageyama, not wanting the doctor to see Yashiro during such an intimate time. As seen in the clinic, and the later when Doumeki moved the car so he was no longer within eyesight of Kageyama's clinic's sign. The last scene where after Yashiro left, and Doumeki was sitting holding the contact lens case maybe highlights this perceived rivalry.

It hurts my heart to imagine he believes Yashiro, but I don't see how he could. Maybe he was uncertain at first, perhaps he had expected Yashiro to simply say he got annoyed or bored of him rather than claiming it was all an act. Even if he thinks that ridiculous lie is true, it's revealing that Yashiro claims his reason for having the type of sex he insisted he'd never have, and supposedly pretending to be emotional and faking enjoyment all night, was *just* for Doumeki's benefit to let him live out his fantasy. However, the second time Doumeki asks about it (when he says "You said the same thing last time, before you kissed me. Was that also an act?"), it seemed accusatory, demanding Yashiro own up to it, rather than unsure.

He may not realize that Yashiro is doing it because he's in love with Doumeki. He's hung up on the idea that Yashiro still loves Kageyama, which he probably does, but in a distant way. Yashiro did tell Doumeki though that he wants to pull away because he's afraid it'll break him if he loses him (Doumeki). Perhaps he's claiming that was also part of the "act", but when Yashiro left, one of his drivers told Doumeki, "He's more of a softie than I thought. It looks like you're the one who's being protected". Doumeki must know that Yashiro cares for him on some level, even if he doesn't realize it's a deep level. He also has to know that Yashiro wasn't faking enjoyment when they had sex, no one is that good of an actor. As for his claim that he finds oral sex disgusting, not only was it really obvious how much he loved it every time, but that time in the hotel Yashiro wasn't being held down and kept asking for more. Also, if we can assume that the voice actors on the drama CD are a true representation of the characters' emotions, there's no mistaking it.

Sorry for all the text but their relationship is complicated. It's so good though.

One more thing. I think that if Doumeki truly believed that the night they spent together had all been a lie, and that Yashiro genuinely is sick of him and feels nothing else, he'd probably leave him alone. Well, eventually, he'd probably find an indirect way to stay close to him. Maybe not, but I think his insistence to stay by his side, in spite of the cruel things Yashiro said to him, might mean he isn't convinced that Yashiro was lying about Doumeki being important to him.

I think that Doumeki's attitude is a bit different when he's back to the car. At the beginning of their conversation he's just receiving all Yashiro's hard words, showing some insecurity but then, after the umbrella, it looks like he's accepting to challenge Yashiro (and here I totally agree on what you say about him saying "you said that and then you kissed me". I would like to think that while we see Yashiro in the car thinking that it's good that Doumeki is stupid, at the same moment Doumeki is thinking "you know what? I don't give a shit of your bullshit, I know that you're not sincere" :-)

I think that Doumeki's attitude is a bit different when he's back to the car. At the beginning of their conversation he's just receiving all Yashiro's hard words, showing some insecurity but then, after the umbrella, it looks like he's accepting to challenge Yashiro (and here I totally agree on what you say about him saying "you said that and then you kissed me". I would like to think that while we see Yashiro in the car thinking that it's good that Doumeki is stupid, at the same moment Doumeki is thinking "you know what? I don't give a shit of your bullshit, I know that you're not sincere" :-)

Do you think Yashiro is still in love with Kageyama? I'm quite sure his feelings for him has changed after he met Doumeki, but probably he hasn't realized that yet :-)

I found this post which explains things more in depth, especially in relation to Yashiro's emotional immaturity https://nuts-hell-ah.tumblr.com/post/142471777868/when-yashiro-is-in-love-with-someone

This is very very interesting !! Thank you so much

Exactly, I think once Doumeki had a little time to process what Yashiro said, and got over his shock, he realized Yashiro is lying, or at least suspects it, and wants Yashiro to know that he isn't buying it. I wonder if he noticed that look of disappointment(?) on Yashiro's face after Doumeki grabbed his seatbelt instead of kissing him.

I think so. I think Doumeki is quite perceptive and Yashiro often underestimates him. But I am also quite sure that he will keep his promise to do nothing to Yashiro since , from my point of view, he understood now more then ever that Yashiro still needs time to overcome his trauma and to accept him

You're probably right, although Doumeki has shown he doesn't have very good self-control when Yashiro is involved, so he might crack first. I think he'll wait a while though and give Yashiro time. I keep trying to imagine scenarios in which Yashiro gives in without Doumeki initiating, and it's easy to think of things I'd like to see happen, but harder to imagine something *realistic* haha

I'm not sure, up until now Doumeki has conveyed to himself that he feels he has lost control, and he usually repents. After the car scene, he stood outside of the car in the pouring rain for over an hour for example. Whereas at the later scene in Doumeki's house, Yashiro assured him relatively. All of this happened in one day, which was just the day before, so it was quite a turmoil for Doumeki's emotions already. Doumeki is fiercely loyal and protective, I think he knows that simple trying to keep his arse on the seat next to Yashiro's is some sort of security in terms of protecting them, and retaining the possibility of a relationship. He might crack and bring up the contact lens case if he's pushed, but I think he has a better handling of Yashiro now, in that he lets him verbally lash out, as he's seen him to others, he doesn't take it to heart, he sees him try and kick him, as he's done to plenty of others, but he prevents him from doing this. Instead, he just makes sure Yashiro gets his seatbelt on, and has water for him to take his pain relief tablets with. I feel that in order for their relationship to happen now, it will be Yashiro who has to make the first move. He obviously has to work on his issues surrounding this, and emotionally mature, and really at this point, it's likely the least of their worries, seeing as he was nearly shot -again- and now he's being framed by the police. I wonder if we will see Yashiro or Doumeki talk about Yashiro's place in the yakuza, and whether he wants to stay or progress. Doumeki might not be someone he can talk to about such a personal thing, but he's the only person he has who he can talk about this with really. Ryuuzaki said he should leave, and Misumi wants him to progress. He's been coddled by the group for most of his adult life, as well as not really having a chance to work on his mental health, so it wouldn't be easy to step down, especially given the high status of his job. I wonder what his plans were with Hirata, did he accept that he might be killed due to this conflct, and was just so tired of it all, and not as emotionally invested in the yakuza hierarchy that was maybe sacrificing himself in order to protect others....

Sorry this is out of topic but there's something I didn't understand in this chapter: is Kageyama the one who says "Yashiro was dumped so he didn't need to fire him (Doumeki)"? Does this mean that he think Doumeki was doing "that" with someone else maybe a woman?

timeline of why Kageyama made his comment
- Kage is the one who plants the seed by saying "Oh, speaking of which isn't Yashiro in love with Doumeki?" (Chapter 16.5)
- He asks Yashiro "weren't you in love with him?" after Yashiro says Doumeki's been fired (Chapter 28)
- He then tells Sugimoto and Nanahara "Yashiro was dumped" (Chapter 32)

Both Nanahara and Sugimoto in response to Kageyama are like "huh??!" because they both know just how devoted Doumeki is, Doumeki even had that talk on the bridge with Nanahara after he cut his finger off about this. So they probably think it's a bit far fetched that it would be Doumeki who would want to get out. It was Sugimoto who made the comment, because he was the one who saw the oral sex scene (Chapter 13) in (Chapter 16) he confronts Doumeki about this scene by using the "that" euphemism. Kageyama isn't always the most perceptive person. If it wasn't for Kage bluntly saying what he did, then Kageyama probably wouldn't have asked Yashiro what he did.

Not really an in depth answer, but hey ho :)

Mixed up a name and wrote Kage (Kageyama's nickname) instead of Kuga. So here's an edited version (▰˘◡˘▰)

timeline of why Kageyama made his comment
- Kuga is the one who plants the seed by saying "Oh, speaking of which isn't Yashiro in love with Doumeki?" (Chapter 16.5)
- He asks Yashiro "weren't you in love with him?" after Yashiro says Doumeki's been fired (Chapter 28)
- He then tells Sugimoto and Nanahara "Yashiro was dumped" (Chapter 32)

Both Nanahara and Sugimoto in response to Kageyama are like "huh??!" because they both know just how devoted Doumeki is, Doumeki even had that talk on the bridge with Nanahara after he cut his finger off about this. So they probably think it's a bit far fetched that it would be Doumeki who would want to get out. It was Sugimoto who made the comment, because he was the one who saw the oral sex scene (Chapter 13) in (Chapter 16) he confronts Doumeki about this scene by using the "that" euphemism. Kageyama isn't always the most perceptive person. If it wasn't for Kuga bluntly saying what he did, then Kageyama probably wouldn't have asked Yashiro what he did.

Not really an in depth answer, but hey ho :)

No Nanahara said that but it was an odd statement