Yuzo's Favorite

There are a few things I wanted to kind of look at in the third perspective.

First of all as disclaimer: It hurts. What JH said is outright abhorrent, repulsive and beyond hurtful. Beyon repaired, beyond salvageable even.

Moving forward, playing the devil's advocate. How JH acted is a byproduct of SR twisted mindset. SR tells him the previous night that the only way for them to understand each other is if JH experienced and sinks to the lowest point (where SR sees himself to be). SR says that the only where for them to understand each other is if JH would become lonely and twisted like him, thinking so selfishly and acting out of hatred, unafraid to hurt others.

Following the next day, JH becomes just that. Simply worse, because he has the financial power to recover.

I think about how we, as individuals, are reflections, or rather, a museum of everyone we have encountered and loved. Without fail, SR was someone JH loved too. Beyond just friends, beyond the conventional family - before they even had to commit to it - they were already each other's family and comfort.

Has anyone heard of the ideas of soulmates and twin flames? Well, I think JH and SR is that secret third one: Karmic. A relationship too soon, too young, too full of hope and fear - so intense, and so raw that someone so young isn't so strong to withstand the pressure and intensity of both their immaturities. I wouldn't term it as love per se, rather, it was desperate hope between two young boys who wanted a tangible 'family' whether it means eloping with your best friend or simply cutting ties with your blood family both physically and on legal papers. Both boys are materialistic, in a way they want their family to be like them, to be /with/ them. Without even realizing that ever since they became friends and shared secrets, they already were a family. There is no verbal nor written contract to start your family - whoever you choose as your home and safe space is your family.

SR, I pray to God he didn't jump, is a tragic character. He is a boy so full of love to give yet so much fear prevents him from showing affection. JH says it too, SR wouldn't cry, wouldn't break down, wouldn't show such vulnerability because he wanted to be 'cool', he wanted to be 'strong', he wanted to be 'mature'. It was never about being miserable together to understand each other. It was seeing through the facades and, despite the differences, being able to mend each other and ease the fear, remove the bad habits, and create new and positive habits. SR realizes it late after having set the stage. JH, fueled by his father's warped classiest mindset, and fueled by SR's twisted ideology, JH becomes the worst person possible.

At this point I'm just hoping SR doesn't jump. Even if we have no closure between them, even if SR drops out and they never cross paths, I wish SR finds it in himself to be with good people. He doesn't have to be miserable forever, he doesn't have to wait and beg people to stoop low just to love and accept him. He's worth more than what he perceives himself to be. Being miserable together may make a relationship stronger, but it isn't a hard prerequisite for a relationship to exist.

I think both SR and JH realizes that they can't repair this kind of relationship anymore, maybe there is a possibility but not now. They've both twisted each other, no apology can soothe this pain, and the family they dreamed of having together is nothing but a childish dream.

I seriously need to know if you can actually casually buy such cutesy clothes irl (especially the fluffy bunny outfit he put on at home) or if this is always just a thing you need to find specific websites or even shops for and then pay a shitload of money for the clothes. let alone have them specifically MAKE them for you. I can imagine that would be more of a thing tbh. I cannot see anyone buying this stuff irl so often it would make sense to massproduce. XD

ohhh godd PLEASEEEE PLEASEE DONT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO BAI MING. Jyst fvkin kill the ass of a dad. ii wisj i could