beta
I had this girl I was friends with, and at that time, I kinda knew that I was in love with her. When we would hang out, we were more of a couple than anything; I mean, We even kissed and cuddled; however, I never told her my feelings. I believe in god and Jesus but not in an "Americanized" Christian way, but back then, I did, and so I kept denying my love for her, and I started resenting her, and she probably knew. She then moved schools, so we no longer walked the halls together. I thought the time was slipping with her. During that time, a lot of family stuff was happening, like my dad getting sick, and I needed someone to rely on since my mom was so busy with my dad. I thought it was her. However, it was not. She was growing from what we were, yet I was just stuck in time. One day she would bring up her new friends, and I jealous to the point I went off and screamed and said hateful things to her. We no longer talk, and 3 years have passed. Maybe she was sent from god, and I was so blind to see it because of this "false" practice in my eyes. I still think about her, and even know it hurts cause I know for sure that I would want to die lying beside her. If only I didn't bottle up so many things, I wonder if we would be lovers or friends, but idk maybe it was for just a season.