
To their parents he was probably the hyung who led Haesoo astray. To Haesoo he’s willing to be the jerk who led him into this messy relationship and “walks all over him”. But doing all of that kept it from becoming too real. It kept the consequences of their actions from taking them to the point of no return.
But now that Joowon has left the stage and is realizing that the role he’s been playing all these years hasn’t helped either of them, Haesoo is left all alone with no one to help shoulder the misery of their separation.
Haesoo was never willing to leave Joowon. He plays like he will and gets into meaningless relationships to convince himself that there are options outside of Joowon, but to truly leave him would be to face the depth of the love he has for him. Haesoo is always running away because he’s afraid Joowon doesn’t love him as much as he loves Joowon. Taku and Taku’s exhibition finally brought Haesoo face to face with the gravity of his relationship with Joowon.
They’ve been in love for a decade. It wasn’t just sex and it wasn’t just experimentation. They genuinely loved each other, but because of their family circumstances, they had to bury that love and disfigure it. If Haesoo convinces himself that he just fooled around with his step-brother and the sex was so good that he just kept doing it, then it would be easier to get through life. It’s easier to pretend that it’s just a messy fling, not a love that would require him to sacrifice everything.
The bitter truth is, Haesoo is deeply in love with someone he can’t be with. Joowon has been the only person who has supported Haesoo, comforted him, been with him at his best and his worst. Joowon sees Haesoo the way no one else does or is willing to. So now that Joowon has gotten off the stage, Haesoo can no longer play the part of the scorned lover or misled dongsaeng. He has to finally face himself and be honest about his true feelings for Joowon. I think he’s crying because he’s been running away from this sinking feeling of not being able to be with Joowon since Joowon told his mother “ we’re just joking around”
2020-10-18 17:21 marked

2020-10-16 12:24 marked
2020-10-14 14:23 marked
2020-10-12 16:49 marked
2020-10-02 16:14 marked

Now, falling in love? Thats a whole other story. Sure, now Seungho is more than open to the idea of sleeping with NK and he even fell for the painter, but accepting those feelings is just too much for their time period. That's also why Seungho is refusing to treat NK as a servant, yes, because he like him, but also because treating him as one would mean to admit that he has become fond of a lower-class painter.But he doesn't treat NK as a lover either, he also doesn't consider him a prostitute, and even if the boy was brought to the house to paint in the first place, now the painting is a second thought in the lord´s mind. Seungho doesn't even know himself how to categorize NK, and that also make the painter confused as to what his role is. But as long as they were alone and togehter, Seungho could allow himelf not to think about such things.
Now, after finding out about what jung in hun told to NK, and ESPECIALLY after Min straight up yelled that he like NY, Seungho can't keep avoiding the true, and all the lies he told himself to prevent him, and NK, to see the reality are crumbling.
2020-09-27 04:11 marked
2020-09-26 07:25 marked

People, can you please stop with 'no character development' shit?
Just because a character doesn't 'develop' on the pace and way you wish, it doesn't mean that there is no development.
And I'm sorry, this is not even a matter of opinion, it is a fact.
You can say though that the character X or Y is not developing fast enough for you -- fine but taking YOUR standard and filter and then declaring that in two seasons, 54 chapters there is no character development because the character is not behaving according to a romantic idea of what you wanted them to be doing at this point is frankly dishonest.
Every chapter I read, my fear is that the author will cave to whining readers and totally bungle Seungho and made him out of character just to please readers who can't stand that they are not getting what they want fast enough.
For Fuck's sake, re read the story from start if you need and if you don't see the logic and the very careful development IN CHARACTER as it should be for Seungho so, I'm sorry, the problem is not the story, it's just that you insisted on reading something that it's not to your taste. There is a solution for that.
Last for not least, I LOVED THIS CHAPTER! Loved that Seungho tried to challenge himself with the orgy and failed. He couldn't do it and he is running out of escape routes to deny that Nakyum is, like Min said, a precious thing he can't share it.
2020-09-25 16:55 marked

2020-09-20 21:30 marked

If people actually bothered to see past this “exterior” Joowon puts up they’d realise that actually Joowon has always been infatuated with Haesoo, ever since their first interaction. But h+J were forced to get away from each other, they were teenagers scared of the consequences and of fighting back so they gave up. I feel like everyone tends to forgets that joowon, too was young+afraid of the consequences which was why in the heat of the moment he said “don’t fall for me because i won’t fall for you” to Haesoo. He said this to protect H from possibly destroying his relationship with his mom- i mean who knows best what it feels like to have no motherly figure in their life ? Joowon does. Whilst in his heart J knew he loved him but he was afraid to pursue anything.
i feel like Haesoo doesn’t even try to understand Joowon because he's stuck in his feelings of hurt and heartbreak so he cant see beyond that, he doesn’t know how his mother constantly threatens Joowon, he doesn’t know just how lonely J really is. Take a minute to think who does Joowon really have ? His dad; yeah well it doesn’t seem he cares much about J if Haesoo’s mum had to tell him they’re thinking of getting back together. Haesoo’s mom? even though he calls her mom, we all know she dislikes him and that little boy inside him is yearning for a mother’s love which is why he keeps insistently calling her "mom". His manager? who makes profit off of him ? does he have any friends ? not really. Min kyuri ? his co worker/ noona who he's only doing his job with. Lastly Haesoo ? who’s already showing signs of giving up and moving on.
Then we have Taku whos shown as innocent, persistent, someone who knows the right words and actions to use when he's with Haesoo, i mean he said so himself. Let's not forget Taku already knew things about Haesoo before Haesoo knew of him, which has defo got elements of power imbalance. Those are things to think about but everyone overlooks. Im not saying taku is bad, because god knows hes not. Just some thoughts.
What are your thoughts/ opinions ?
2020-09-14 12:52 marked

Honestly, I don't really know how the relationship between Jo Woon x Hae Soo x Tae Kyung will end up. But I always feel what Jo Woon and Hae Soo has is deeper than wjat it seems. That's what makes Tae Kyung anxious. And we can see that even when they broke up, Hae Soo keep thinking of Jo Woon every other chance. The fact that their family are the hinder of their relationship is what keeps them apart. If the family is no longer an issue, what would you think will happen? Jo Woon has let Hae Soo go and never mind about his relationship with numerous guys or boyfriends and still single mindedly love Hae Soo only, even if he will just remain as brothers when their parents remarried. It really takes determination and deep love to do that. Hae Soo, despite his denials and continous look out for other opportunities of better relationship, I'm quite sure also holds deep feeling towards Jo Woon. After all, they're each other's first loves.
If Hae Soo doesn't develop deeper feeling towards Tae Kyung to the point he no longer cares about Jo Woon and just considers him as his past, then like Jo Woon said, he's the one who will remain in Hae Soo's life.
2020-09-01 21:09 marked

Joowon is frequently associated with the past (long-term non-relationship, attached to the fact they're former stepbrothers, they still relate to each other like their teenage selves, Joowon keeping photos of them as teenagers, the fact the story opens with Haesoo in a writing rut because he can only write about his past with Joowon) while Taekyung is frequently associated with the future (helps Haesoo's career by asking him to model, leads to the book deal, Taekyung inspired Haesoo to write new material again, giving Haesoo the new experience of having a boyfriend he can flaunt), which makes me think he's going to pick Taekyung.
But Joowon and Haesoo are seen engaging in both sexual and tender/intimate acts (Joowon coming over just to sleep platonically, Haesoo washing Joowon's hair) whereas Haesoo and Taekyung's intimacy always turns sexual (the photoshoots, when Haesoo was sick they still had sex, and they only woke up next to each other after having sex). That makes me think Haesoo will pick Joowon.
Smoking is a metaphor for Haesoo and Joowon's relationship. Joowon taught Haesoo how to smoke (and that comment "I learned all my bad habits from Joowon"), early in the series Haesoo said he wanted to quit smoking but Joowon made fun of him because he's convinced Haesoo never will, Taekyung's comment about a 'smoker's semen tastes bitter,' all the drama with Joowon finding Taekyung's lighter, then knowing Haesoo had been in Taekyung's studio when he found the empty cigarette box and Taekyung crunching it up and throwing it away angrily, the fact that Haesoo was smoking on the roof and Joowon came up in the conversation, the picture of Haesoo kissing Taekyung with smoke STILL on his lips, and Taekyung's chilling comment about Haesoo's taste kissing bitter WHILE HE WAS THINKING OF JOOWON. And the fact that Taekyung doesn't smoke. As long as Haesoo is a smoker, he's going to pick Joowon. If he quits smoking, then he'll pick Taekyung.
The fact that Taekyung is shown, multiple times, to be able to anticipate Haesoo's needs better than Haesoo himself can (Taekyung carrying a lighter even though he isn't a smoker, Taekyung bandaging Haesoo's injured hand before Haesoo thought to do it, Taekyung making Haesoo eat and take medicine when he was sick when Haesoo was just going to sleep it off, when that wine spilled on Haesoo and Taekyung toweled him off without Haesoo asking first, and when Taekyung asks Haesoo to be his boyfriend and Haesoo says no but it's revealed that Haesoo did say yes in the second half of their conversation). This is the opposite of Joowon who tries to fulfill Haesoo's needs but can never get it quite right (letting Haesoo borrow his car but Haesoo never used it, Joowon letting Haesoo provoke his jealousy/anger because it turns Haesoo on, the general way Joowon twisted his behavior to meet Haesoo's desire for an obsessive love even though it's been damaging, the time Joowon reminded Haesoo to stop picking his cuticles reactively instead of proactively). This makes me think that Haesoo will pick Taekyung.
The way the story is set up, Taekyung fits the role of The Rival. But unlike most BL, he is a very well-developed rival. It depends on how much the creator wants to lean into that trope. The Rival is supposed to push the Seme and Uke closer together. Joowon and Haesoo's relationship was built on a bad foundation. They had a bond but a non-relationship that never would have grown had it continued unchallenged. Taekyung has challenged them and definitely facilitated growth. If Taekyung really is a classic Rival, then that makes me think Haesoo will pick Joowon.
BUT, the creator has gone very far out of her way to show us that Joowon and Haesoo are mutually bad for each other (Joowon almost quit acting over Haesoo, Haesoo knowingly twisting Joowon's behavior, Haesoo becoming "all dark and moody" in high school after they started having sex, the whole smoking metaphor when smoking is obviously bad for a person, their relationship broke up their parents' marriage), which makes me think Haesoo will pick Taekyung.
But what might be driving me THE NUTTIEST is that the creator has set up two equally plausible, equally beautiful, and equally explosive ending options. We've seen Joowon flash that engagement ring a few times now which is a BL cliche but always a winner. OR, there have been two mentions that Haesoo's parents (might just have been Mom, can't remember) think Haesoo should study abroad to get away from Joowon. And guess who has one more semester of school in Japan? TAEKYUNG.
2020-08-25 07:33 marked

Haesoo was clearly shaking his head but I guess it can’t be considered forced since it wasn’t Joowon doing the deed. Is this the healthy relationship yall hoped for and bragged about? It’s not healthy at all. A comment below said, “Taku represented all the lovey dovey aspects of a relationship that Haesoo wanted but knew he couldn't have with Joowon. This lead to an idealized vision of what the relationship between Taku and Haesoo would be. Now that they are in a relationship Haesoo and even Taku are both realizing that going through the motions of a relationship doesn't automatically create the feeling of love like what Haesoo had for Joowon. Haesoo is coming to realize he didn't just want a lovey dovey relationship, he wanted a lovey dovey relationship with Joowon”(Hye). He is craving for a person he loves, but acting out affection in a relationship does not equal love. Some still argues that JxH was not a from of love but a habit, but I think that Joowon is not a habit, but what formed between them were habits. Lovers form habits all the time, but their mistake was to let that habit be dishonesty. Both Taekyung and Haesoo’s minds are clouded with Joowon. Their relationship has done nothing great so far. Haesoo is still full of uncertainties and taku’s insecurities has been increasing. Sure, it did bring them comfort, but it was fleeting. Taku’s greediness can cause Haesoo to run away from him instead. You can’t cover the cracks of their relationship for too long because it’ll only grow and cause them greater pain. They both need a break. If they want to continue their relationship they need to come forward and face their issues with theirselves before committing. Haesoo’s mom thought that it was Joowon who could stop their relationship, but now that he had let go, Haesoo still remains. It’s now Haesoo’s turn to decide. It’s something that can’t be fixed by anything or anyone but himself. An internal conflict. That’s why TxH isn’t working FOR NOW. No matter how many steps forward Taku takes Haesoo is unwilling to follow. Taekyung is well aware of that but he is desperate that he’ll use the time and chances he gets. If they stay the way they are they’re going to end up in a viscous cycle of toxicity once again. Knowing how much remaining chapters we have Haesoo won’t be receiving a rest from all the problems. He’s gonna have to choose under the pressure of his current relationship(If he lets it get to him). This story isn’t really about the endgame, but Haesoo’s character learning to muster up courage to be able to choose for himself without giving a thought about what others think.
2020-08-18 14:11 marked

Seungho kept repeating to himself that the sex was the reason why he kept Nakyum. It was like he was trying to convince himself. He's a sex fiend, ofc he approves of Nakyum's behavior, but he also knows he's lying when he says he likes it. Nakyum knows he has no where else to go, so he's come back to Seungho and obediently endures. But he's also made himseIf emotionally unavailable. He's given up his body but he doesn't have to give up his feelings. And i think Seungho is starting to realize that? It's honestly funny how much Nakyum affects him lol. Who would've thought the boy's words could play that much with his sick heart. If only Seungho wasn't so unstable, he'd know how to properly express affection and maybe win Nakyun over without force. But fear is all he knows :(
There was a point during 48 where nakyum starts crying and only then does seungho release his grip against his throat, just to caress his cheek. As much as he seems to hate seeing Nakyum cry I think it's less bc it annoys him and more bc it hurts him. He loves Nakyum and doesn't even know it
2020-08-17 05:03 marked

2020-08-15 04:42 marked

My admiration to his character... that I cannot explain. People can tell me "yeah because he is toxic" and "there's nothing to love about him", if I cannot explain why Joowon is my bet. I already know that. It's hard to explain something, my admiration or hatred to someome- in words and when it seems like everyone is AGAINST IT, being a Joowon stan is a struggle. Y'all be thinking, "Is this sis olay for stanning a toxic dude?". Trust me honey, I am okay.
Knowing his ROUGH childhood days made me entirely more fond of his character. Why? Because that's a beauty of very "messed up and fucked up" characters (that some people label him). Beauty? Yes. A chance to either do a 360 turn-over of his entire life. Maybe he'll get his shit together for the better? Maybe he'll act up even more? Who knows? At the end of the day, my hopes goes with Joowon letting go and positively moving forward away from Haesoo. He needs that.
The beauty of reading a manga isn't just hoping for someone to end up with someone, or for some toxic dude to stay the fuck away from someone.. It's not just someone getting together and TADA, moving on. For this manga, I hope thaf the beauty of Joowon's character focuses on his growth from having bad characteristics.
We ain't just saying "better.. healthy... JW" and forget his toxicity. No. There are many people who acknowledges this and are still hoping for a chance. We don't just disregard his behaviours. He did them and he must facr consequences. Now, we hope for a moving on period.
I cannot really explain why he is my favorite. One thing for sure, I wanted him and HS as an endgame, but as I said, tides are shifting. If I want a BETTER and HEALTHIER JOOWON, he then home boy gotta love himself and know his shit, then swerve lanes AWAY from HS.
And this is all coming from a person how's all for Joowon. I used to BEG for JW and HS to be an endgame, but... if you ask me... Joowon's character development or JW and HS as endgame. I'll surely choose the first one.
What y'all think? All opinions and shits are welcome here, as long as y'all are not RUDE.
2020-07-20 07:22 marked
Haesoo is finally stepping off the stage too