
Ok hi. I wanna know if its just me. But i feel icky reading this manhwa. Cant explain it hahaha. Like i still read it but i dont feel right everytime i do. Like im not disgusted? Theres just something about this that i cant explain.

I'll tell you what it is for me. It's the fact that the "victim" seems to physically enjoy most of it, and he's a tough little fucker, so trauma seems to roll off his back like water from a duck. The issue with this is that it normalizes their psychotic behavior and assaults to the point it's a joke that they let him "slip away" instead of having unwanted sex, aka getting raped again. I feel less repulsed than I should and somehow I'm uncomfortable with that.
I feel bad for mc :(( i get that unexplainable guilt about having selfish thoughts. Like thinking youre a bad person for thinking negative thoughts. But that doesnt really make you a bad person, thats just being human. Whats important is not to act on the negative thoughts. His inner monologues always paints himself as some scum but his actions are far from it. I think with maturity we somehow get more secure and confident which helps us through these self-doubts. It took me so long to not beat myself up for envying the life of the people around me, to the point that i deleted socmeds because i made myself believe that i SHOULDNT be feeling envious, and that im evil for wanting other people's lives.