Alright. This novel is not new. Just a few years old. I think it was released in 21 or 22. Anyways, this novel has been revised now. Initially this novel had some aspects which were severely protested by the korean readers such as the resemblance to nth room case and bestiality. The new versions on ridi and bomtoon has replaced the bestiality (dog) with a sex machine so you might not see the dog sex scene in the webtoon. Though it did happen in the first version. I have read it myself. There is no love till the end. The relationship is of kind of mutual dependence where ML and MC are broken because of each other but can’t live without each other as well. ML due to his obsession of revenge and MC due to his trauma. The ML doesn’t regret anything. Well atleast in the first version he doesn’t. He has broken MC but the satisfaction of that is lukewarm. At the end of novel, it is like ML has now taken over MC and now will keep him with him as a toy/plaything or a pet. It’s just like you have something useless but can’t throw it away for whatever reason so you keep it with yourself stored at home.
All of this is happening because Jiwook used to bully and sexually assault the ML in middle school. Jiwook was initially good with ML AND he was attracted to ML as well. However due to the fear of homosexuality and afraid of peer pressure, he started bullying and sexually assaulting ML after ML confessed to liking him or being gay.
The abuse involved sexually assaulting ML with his friends, like forcing him for blow jobs, rape etc. the last abuse ML suffered was when Jiwook added a bunch of vibrators in his ass and bound him and left him in the washroom near library. One guy was on duty of keeping an eye on him but Jiwook never came back. The ML was super scared and was rescued by the security guard at night. That was day ML’s mom came to know about the abuse ML suffered because he hadn’t been to home that day due to being locked in the washroom. Also, from that day MC stopped paying attention to ML just on a whim, he left him in washroom and just decided that he should now study.
ML’s sexual pics were being circulated around by Jiwook so ML’s mom also happened to see them. From then she hated the lipstick and color red I think (it’s been long since I read it) because in the pic ML had some writings written on him with red lipstick. ML’s mom mental health deteriorated and got admitted to hospital.
ML was initially a very sweet boy buy due to the abuse and bullying he suffered, he became twisted and wanted to take revenge on Jiwook. Then when Jiwook lost his memories of the ML, the ML became more deranged because according to him, only he was suffering and stuck in the past which everyone eventually forgot and moved on from.
Now onto the abuse Jiwook suffers, there is gangbang on two occasions I guess. Both planned by ML. First is similar to nth room case, where ML shares Jiwook’s sexual pics to different people who wants to bang him and has grudge against him. The men will beat him brutally, rape him brutally, and even try to drown him in water basin in pretext of washing his mouth since MC vomited after being punched badly. The rape is really bad. When the men are done, they will take pics and send then to ML. The ML’s thoughts were that he will have to clean up the mess they left on MC and that he didn’t think they will go so hard on MC. No remorse though. Just a apathetic sorry to MC because he expected them to rape MC but not so hard.
The second gangrape is done extremely brutally which is actually allowed by ML. ML even wants it to be done brutally to punish MC. When MC is losing his mind due to abuse in the gangrape, ML is like why are you losing your mind already? The gangrape involves beating, using baseball bat (I think) to fuck him, using urethra plug to force him to ejaculate him again again with pain, urinating in his mouth and asshole, it’s extremely disturbing.
MC will keep asking what he did that ML is doing this to him but ML will not tell until the last gangrape. After the last gangrape, MC will awake in hotel and regain his memories. He will apologize to the ML. Now he is broken and damaged beyond repair. He is so afraid to even go outside without ML because he thinks those men will come again and rape him. Thus he wants to stay with ML . Stockholm syndrome is beginning and will fully kick in the side stories.
The dog bestiality scene is in side story 2 but it has already been changed to a sex machine after the protest.
My pet peeve with this novel is that if it’s marketed as a revenge story and something that will depict the pain sexually abused people feel then it does a pretty shitty job at that. ML is shown to have become completely psychopathic. Given he was abused, given he wasn’t given justice, given his abusers were free but the time he raped and allowed other people to become sexual abusers just like him, he no longer comes in the category of victim.
An eye for an eye, if we go with it then how can you guage the emotional suffering someone has suffered. MC was so brutally abused, broken and even stripped of his humanity with the bestiality scene that do you really think they are on equal foot now? What about the people who gangraped MC? Aren’t those sexual abusers? Is there any difference left between MC and ML. Does degrading someone so much equals to the suffering the ML suffered? Kill Jiwook, beat him up but this whatever the writer wrote nowhere justifies anything. The name “walk in my shoes” is fucked up joke.
This is a fetishized work, because in the end the focus is not on empathy or regret but rather sexual abuse, the degradation and ultimately whatever the author could jam to make it disgusting. Even the thoughts, the dialogues, they are super apathetic. There was a brilliant way to go about this novel if it really focused on the theme of revenge. There are many dark novels/works in the world but this doesn’t even come close to it. It is disgusting porn in disguise of novel.
The people criticizing others who are leaving bad reviews, do you guys even know what the review section is for? It literally asks people to give their thoughts about the work so other audience can know what people thought of this work. If someone wants to say it’s bad or good, they are literally given a section that “here tell people how you felt about it”. That’s the review section. Anything that comes on internet as a means of entertainment or media for people, people do have a right to give their opinion about it. What's so fucking difficult about it? Author and artist can write and draw disgusting shit like this but people can’t even openly give their review? The fuck kind of mentality is that? If you enjoy it then comment that you enjoyed it and be on your way. Stop dictating others to not leave bad review or shut their mouths.
All these mangas have situations where seme acts too
arrogantly, cruel, nasty or misunderstands uke and this leads
to their ukes leaving,rejecting or hating them. These are yaoi that
revolves around semes who realises they were
ASSHOLES, they deal with the CONSEQUENCES…
….
and their
rEGRET!
#Satisfying stories only
Geez Jitae’s so damn good looking that I have to look at his panels for so long to appreciate his beauty ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
So people who have been saying that there is no sex scene with dog or sexual assault with dog, it is not in the main story. In the side story, the dog and MC is treated as husband and wife verbally in a particular scene. ML even put forcefully the dog’s dick in MC’s mouth for a bit (few seconds only because MC refuses). Then ML helps the dog to put the dick in MC’s hole and then the dog fucks MC. He then brings dildo and pushes the dog away and put it in MC’s hole but then the dog scampers around impatiently and wants to fuck again so ML let the dog do it. However MC faints at this point. Then ML showers the dog with affection.
I think it is in the side story 2. It does happen. Very clearly. So this story even if it is revenge, it’s just garbage. The gangrape of MC is not kinky but full on lynching type of gangrape. Breaking his bones with the way the men beat him up as well as the lacerations in his anus. Fucking him with bat or repeatedly pushing urethra blocker in his penis to make him reach orgasm forcefully and painfully. Peeing on his face and even peeing in his anus. The ML getting irritated at that point because it will be hard for him to clean up later.
It is something that didn’t need to be created. Whatever you say, whatever you wanna create, we don’t need such evil acts depicted in details in media form and then webtoon. It is disgusting. No love in the novel because ML spent 8 years chasing after MC to take revenge so he is mentally broken, and he broke the MC too mentally.
They stay together because MC can’t go anywhere now because other guys who raped him or want to take revenge on him on some disputes might again rape him. Plus he too afraid and mentally broken now. MC has started to think of ML as his saviour because only he could save or stop any rape or torture when ML was taking revenge on MC + some part of his guilt too for what he did to ML.
Everyone acted on ML’s orders so MC is now in stockholm syndrome. ML doesn’t have any affection for MC. He just has the fixation of 8 years, his trauma, so he also can’t let go of MC until fully satisfied. That’s the gist of the story till now.
It’s been a long time since I was in a relationship so I just wanna ask, do normal people also have sex the same number of times as shown in the bl webtoons? Like whether angry, sad, happy, excited or tired, just have sex?
This is a review from someone who read this novel and had to desperately get myself out of the disgusting feelings this made me feel for weeks.
This novel is not happy ending. This even has detailed rape and torture scenes, heartless characters, cruelty and don’t expect any love.
The gist of the story is that there is no major villain. Just the three characters, the MC and two male leads whose relationship, revenge and actions takes up most of the novel.
MC is a noble who pretended to abandon the ML (khalid) to save him when they were kids. ML was hurt because his whole world was MC. The only light in his miserable life. However later in adulthood, the MC’s family was killed by the second ML (Peltian) who disposed of the crown prince and became emperor. The MC’s family was supporting the crown prince, that’s why they were killed. However MC was secretly helping the emperor and was in an idea that the emperor knows it’s him who helped him defeat the crown prince. So when his family was killed he was shocked and thought that he was abandoned by the emperor.
Basically the guy who was delivering MC’s messages of to the emperor didn’t tell the emperor that they were from MC rather he prentended that it was himself who helped emperor to get the benefits, this way he betrayed the MC and got all the benefits of emperor who thought that Belthias Deron was the one who helped him.
Now MC was captured and khalid asked the emperor to give MC to him as a slave so he can take revenge. Khalid and emperor are deeply bonded as brothers so emperor granted him this request.
Now MC thinks he has to repay khalid for the hurt he caused him while abandoning him. That’s why he doesn’t commit suicide and becomes a slave willingly so that khalid can let go of his resentment and be completely happy.
Khalid badly abuses MC (Knox) physically and sexually.
He and emperor treats him like an object less than a human being. The sex scenes are horrible with slapping him to keep him awake, fucking him in turns for the whole night, not letting him rest, teaching him to suck their dick first thing in the morning as slave. It’s horrible letting him ride a wooden horse, use dildos on him and double penetrating him, keeping him tied to bed and fucking him for days even though he begs not to. Khalid even makes a bet with emperor to see if MC is loyal to him alone and knows who owns him if he doesn’t cum while someone other than Khalid fucks him. Emperor fucks him and MC cums so in anger khalid takes off his belt and hit his perineum and hole with it several times while asking MC to keep his hole open with his own fingers. It’s horrible through and through.
Once MC slaps the belthias guy who betrayed MC and Khalid first slaps him twice in front of that guy for punishment and then further locks MC in a dark room for a week. MC completely loses his mind from that time on and submits his self to slavery.
Khalid also whips him so bad and then denies him treatment and that is the last point where MC commits suicide because he thinks he has paid back everything because when khalid was abandoned in the past he was also whipped. It wasn’t MC who whipped him but the one whipping MC was khalid.
MC and Khalid both used to love each other in their childhood before the abandonment.
The dialogues, the thoughts they are so degrading for MC by both emperor and khalid that both are not redeemable at all.
The major issue I have with this novel is that the author’s focus is highly on the torture and extensive sex scenes with degradation. However you won’t get much intake on the feelings or thoughts.
When the abuse was happening, there would be one or two line to specify the feelings of either the MC or the ML.
I think it’s very lacking and makes you unable to connect with the characters because we can’t get a clear feeling of what they are feeling other than horrible abuse and resentment.
As comaprison, the Non zero sum highly focuses on the feelings of the MC so we can connect on a much more deeper level with his suffering. We even get the insight of ML and understand that he is psycho. Just a mental patient. We see how his though process works.
In this novel, Khalid and emperor are abusing MC so badly but if MC is sitting alone and gazing at space absent mindedly or is washing the floors of Khalid’s mansion then Khalid will act like he loves MC and cares so much about him and can’t bear to see him like that. It’s just crazily inconsistent.
Another inconsistency is the MC. He wanted khalid to vent out his resentment. He didn’t know khalid will abuse him like this but he was very strong. He was very able at swordsmanship. He didn’t commit suicide to let khalid blow his resentment and become happy.
After the first night where khalid shared MC with emperor, MC could commit suicide but he on the next day was helping khalid in handling state affairs. He even taught khalid how to dance. It is strange that he appears completely fine by the abuse so far and even cares for khalid? We don’t get much insight to his mental health by hsi thoughts during this time so it’s very hard to connect if he has resentment building for khalid due to all this abuse or not.
Why I’m saying it is inconsistent is because of what happens AFTER MC thinks he has paid back everything and commits suicide.
So basically after MC is whipped, he is in his room where he was unconcious. He wakes up goes out the estate, sees the carriage of belthias and rode it. He talks to belthias and mentions how he betrayed him etc etc. All of his converstaion is being listened by Khalid and emperor through a magic stone that is given to him by khalid and which is like a communication device controlled by Khalid. That’s how they come to know that MC is innocent. MC kills belthias and goes to his home. There he jumps off a window and commits suicide.
Now for the inconsistencies. Khalid hates MC because he abandoned him in childhood. But suddenly he is devastated and acts like he can’t live without MC when MC commits suicide and it comes to light that he was innocent. Khalid’s resentment wasn’t because MC helped crown prince, it was because of abandonment. So even if it comes to light that MC is innocent, how he turned 180 degree?
Then the argue that it’s because MC committed suicide but khalid has been abusing him cruelly for days and days. He whipped him so bad and denied treatment suddenly he is remorseful just because MC commits suicide? I would believe it if I could get an ounce of feeling that he loves MC? He calls MC whore, slut, prostitue. Treats him like one. That is definitely not love. It doesn’t give any feeling of love even to us readers!
Anyhow they somehow save MC. During the process khalid comes to know that MC didn’t abandoned him willingly. It was an act to save him. He even searched for him and was whipped by his mother for this reason so more regret.
Now MC wakes up and hates khalid and asks him to kill him off. He asks khalid why he did all those things to him. Now again I don’t understand that the author clearly explained to us that MC let khalid do those things because he wanted to let him release his resentment. Now MC is shown to suffer from abuse but while it was happening we were not shown much of his thought process until very late into the story where he starts to self harm to even breathe. Even during that time, we are not given any inkling of his resentment to khalid.
Understandably he wants to die but no one lets him. Emperor is also remorseful. He decides to restore his status back to noble from slave but MC is shamed and notorious in whole kingdom now because he had became a slave and was a plaything of khalid and emperor.
MC takes his revenge on both khalid and emperor. Emperor is betrayed and killed by khalid. MC becomes the next emperor and khalid now becomes his dog.
My pet peeve with this novel is that there is no one to blame for all the misery except one when the emperor rapes MC again in jealousy even after knowing that he is innocent.
Khalid’s whole world was MC and he was also treated as a slave and very badly treated at MC’s home. But at the end MC also abandoned him (according to him because he doesn’t know MC was pretending neither anyone told him). He was whipped and thrown out and he saw MC smiling at another servant after throwing him out. Just imagine for a child to rely on someone during his whole misery and that someone also cruelly and ruthlessly throw him out and abandon him. It must have been horrible. The scar must have run deep and turned so bad that it twisted him to such an ugly person later on. I understand him because I have felt the feeling and fear of being left behind. It is very very scary and hurtful.
The emperor treats MC badly for very stupid reason but more than that he treats him badly because he thinks he was supporting crown prince. So if you understand the world of emperor and its throne fights, you can know that it’s a very cruel world. Where you have to be ruthless to win. After he knows that MC is innocent he restores his status and is remoresful of the abuse MC suffered.
Lastly MC, after suffering from khalid and emperor, he also now bore resentment and hate. He kills innocent people for his revenge. He even takes relief in khalid’s suffering. He suffers from the after effects of abuse he faced at the hands of khalid and emperor. But khalid also suffered the pain from the abandonment of MC. He then took his revenge on MC. All his happy memories from MC turned painful ones because at the end he was abandoned so he must have thought those moments were just pasttimes for MC.
When I see it, who do I blame then? Khalid suffered and took revenge from MC. MC willingly offered himself to khalid to decrease his resentment and suffered. Then he also took his revenge on khalid.
It was a circle of abuse that never ended. Even if MC never abandoned him willingly, he never told khalid. He even himself understands that khalid must have suffered alot due to that so that’s why he wants to atone and make khalid happy. He could have committed suicide anytime. He could have fought anytime but he willingly suffered everything. Once he thought he paid back everything, he committed suicide.
But he was saved, he should have been allowed death atleast. But khalid and emperor didn’t let him die. After that he takes revenge on them. The abuse cycle starts again now. He feels happy to see khalid hurt and then treats him like a dog at the end of the novel. Kills innocent people for his revenge. He becomes cruel as well.
I really hated the end. There was no respite for anyone of them. Khalif wasn’t a villain. He was just taking his own revenge. MC wasn’t a villain and he is also taking his own revenge. Not one of them thought of moving forward. It’s horrible. I wouldn’t recommend anyone this novel. There is no closure.
This is a review from someone who read this novel and had to desperately get myself out of the disgusting feelings this made me feel for weeks.
This novel is not happy ending. This even has detailed rape and torture scenes, heartless characters, cruelty and don’t expect any love.
The gist of the story is that there is no major villain. Just the three characters, the MC and two male leads whose relationship, revenge and actions takes up most of the novel.
MC is a noble who pretended to abandon the ML (khalid) to save him when they were kids. ML was hurt because his whole world was MC. The only light in his miserable life. However later in adulthood, the MC’s family was killed by the second ML (Peltian) who disposed of the crown prince and became emperor. The MC’s family was supporting the crown prince, that’s why they were killed. However MC was secretly helping the emperor and was in an idea that the emperor knows it’s him who helped him defeat the crown prince. So when his family was killed he was shocked and thought that he was abandoned by the emperor.
Basically the guy who was delivering MC’s messages of to the emperor didn’t tell the emperor that they were from MC rather he prentended that it was himself who helped emperor to get the benefits, this way he betrayed the MC and got all the benefits of emperor who thought that Belthias Deron was the one who helped him.
Now MC was captured and khalid asked the emperor to give MC to him as a slave so he can take revenge. Khalid and emperor are deeply bonded as brothers so emperor granted him this request.
Now MC thinks he has to repay khalid for the hurt he caused him while abandoning him. That’s why he doesn’t commit suicide and becomes a slave willingly so that khalid can let go of his resentment and be completely happy.
Khalid badly abuses MC (Knox) physically and sexually.
He and emperor treats him like an object less than a human being. The sex scenes are horrible with slapping him to keep him awake, fucking him in turns for the whole night, not letting him rest, teaching him to suck their dick first thing in the morning as slave. It’s horrible letting him ride a wooden horse, use dildos on him and double penetrating him, keeping him tied to bed and fucking him for days even though he begs not to. Khalid even makes a bet with emperor to see if MC is loyal to him alone and knows who owns him if he doesn’t cum while someone other than Khalid fucks him. Emperor fucks him and MC cums so in anger khalid takes off his belt and hit his perineum and hole with it several times while asking MC to keep his hole open with his own fingers. It’s horrible through and through.
Once MC slaps the belthias guy who betrayed MC and Khalid first slaps him twice in front of that guy for punishment and then further locks MC in a dark room for a week. MC completely loses his mind from that time on and submits his self to slavery.
Khalid also whips him so bad and then denies him treatment and that is the last point where MC commits suicide because he thinks he has paid back everything because when khalid was abandoned in the past he was also whipped. It wasn’t MC who whipped him but the one whipping MC was khalid.
MC and Khalid both used to love each other in their childhood before the abandonment.
The dialogues, the thoughts they are so degrading for MC by both emperor and khalid that both are not redeemable at all.
The major issue I have with this novel is that the author’s focus is highly on the torture and extensive sex scenes with degradation. However you won’t get much intake on the feelings or thoughts.
When the abuse was happening, there would be one or two line to specify the feelings of either the MC or the ML.
I think it’s very lacking and makes you unable to connect with the characters because we can’t get a clear feeling of what they are feeling other than horrible abuse and resentment.
As comaprison, the Non zero sum highly focuses on the feelings of the MC so we can connect on a much more deeper level with his suffering. We even get the insight of ML and understand that he is psycho. Just a mental patient. We see how his though process works.
In this novel, Khalid and emperor are abusing MC so badly but if MC is sitting alone and gazing at space absent mindedly or is washing the floors of Khalid’s mansion then Khalid will act like he loves MC and cares so much about him and can’t bear to see him like that. It’s just crazily inconsistent.
Another inconsistency is the MC. He wanted khalid to vent out his resentment. He didn’t know khalid will abuse him like this but he was very strong. He was very able at swordsmanship. He didn’t commit suicide to let khalid blow his resentment and become happy.
After the first night where khalid shared MC with emperor, MC could commit suicide but he on the next day was helping khalid in handling state affairs. He even taught khalid how to dance. It is strange that he appears completely fine by the abuse so far and even cares for khalid? We don’t get much insight to his mental health by hsi thoughts during this time so it’s very hard to connect if he has resentment building for khalid due to all this abuse or not.
Why I’m saying it is inconsistent is because of what happens AFTER MC thinks he has paid back everything and commits suicide.
So basically after MC is whipped, he is in his room where he was unconcious. He wakes up goes out the estate, sees the carriage of belthias and rode it. He talks to belthias and mentions how he betrayed him etc etc. All of his converstaion is being listened by Khalid and emperor through a magic stone that is given to him by khalid and which is like a communication device controlled by Khalid. That’s how they come to know that MC is innocent. MC kills belthias and goes to his home. There he jumps off a window and commits suicide.
Now for the inconsistencies. Khalid hates MC because he abandoned him in childhood. But suddenly he is devastated and acts like he can’t live without MC when MC commits suicide and it comes to light that he was innocent. Khalid’s resentment wasn’t because MC helped crown prince, it was because of abandonment. So even if it comes to light that MC is innocent, how he turned 180 degree?
Then the argue that it’s because MC committed suicide but khalid has been abusing him cruelly for days and days. He whipped him so bad and denied treatment suddenly he is remorseful just because MC commits suicide? I would believe it if I could get an ounce of feeling that he loves MC? He calls MC whore, slut, prostitue. Treats him like one. That is definitely not love. It doesn’t give any feeling of love even to us readers!
Anyhow they somehow save MC. During the process khalid comes to know that MC didn’t abandoned him willingly. It was an act to save him. He even searched for him and was whipped by his mother for this reason so more regret.
Now MC wakes up and hates khalid and asks him to kill him off. He asks khalid why he did all those things to him. Now again I don’t understand that the author clearly explained to us that MC let khalid do those things because he wanted to let him release his resentment. Now MC is shown to suffer from abuse but while it was happening we were not shown much of his thought process until very late into the story where he starts to self harm to even breathe. Even during that time, we are not given any inkling of his resentment to khalid.
Understandably he wants to die but no one lets him. Emperor is also remorseful. He decides to restore his status back to noble from slave but MC is shamed and notorious in whole kingdom now because he had became a slave and was a plaything of khalid and emperor.
MC takes his revenge on both khalid and emperor. Emperor is betrayed and killed by khalid. MC becomes the next emperor and khalid now becomes his dog.
My pet peeve with this novel is that there is no one to blame for all the misery except one when the emperor rapes MC again in jealousy even after knowing that he is innocent.
Khalid’s whole world was MC and he was also treated as a slave and very badly treated at MC’s home. But at the end MC also abandoned him (according to him because he doesn’t know MC was pretending neither anyone told him). He was whipped and thrown out and he saw MC smiling at another servant after throwing him out. Just imagine for a child to rely on someone during his whole misery and that someone also cruelly and ruthlessly throw him out and abandon him. It must have been horrible. The scar must have run deep and turned so bad that it twisted him to such an ugly person later on. I understand him because I have felt the feeling and fear of being left behind. It is very very scary and hurtful.
The emperor treats MC badly for very stupid reason but more than that he treats him badly because he thinks he was supporting crown prince. So if you understand the world of emperor and its throne fights, you can know that it’s a very cruel world. Where you have to be ruthless to win. After he knows that MC is innocent he restores his status and is remoresful of the abuse MC suffered.
Lastly MC, after suffering from khalid and emperor, he also now bore resentment and hate. He kills innocent people for his revenge. He even takes relief in khalid’s suffering. He suffers from the after effects of abuse he faced at the hands of khalid and emperor. But khalid also suffered the pain from the abandonment of MC. He then took his revenge on MC. All his happy memories from MC turned painful ones because at the end he was abandoned so he must have thought those moments were just pasttimes for MC.
When I see it, who do I blame then? Khalid suffered and took revenge from MC. MC willingly offered himself to khalid to decrease his resentment and suffered. Then he also took his revenge on khalid.
It was a circle of abuse that never ended. Even if MC never abandoned him willingly, he never told khalid. He even himself understands that khalid must have suffered alot due to that so that’s why he wants to atone and make khalid happy. He could have committed suicide anytime. He could have fought anytime but he willingly suffered everything. Once he thought he paid back everything, he committed suicide.
But he was saved, he should have been allowed death atleast. But khalid and emperor didn’t let him die. After that he takes revenge on them. The abuse cycle starts again now. He feels happy to see khalid hurt and then treats him like a dog at the end of the novel. Kills innocent people for his revenge. He becomes cruel as well.
I really hated the end. There was no respite for anyone of them. Khalif wasn’t a villain. He was just taking his own revenge. MC wasn’t a villain and he is also taking his own revenge. Not one of them thought of moving forward. It’s horrible. I wouldn’t recommend anyone this novel. There is no closure.
This is a review from someone who read this novel and had to desperately get myself out of the disgusting feelings this made me feel for weeks.
This novel is not happy ending. This even has detailed rape and torture scenes, heartless characters, cruelty and don’t expect any love.
The gist of the story is that there is no major villain. Just the three characters, the MC and two male leads whose relationship, revenge and actions takes up most of the novel.
MC is a noble who pretended to abandon the ML (khalid) to save him when they were kids. ML was hurt because his whole world was MC. The only light in his miserable life. However later in adulthood, the MC’s family was killed by the second ML (Peltian) who disposed of the crown prince and became emperor. The MC’s family was supporting the crown prince, that’s why they were killed. However MC was secretly helping the emperor and was in an idea that the emperor knows it’s him who helped him defeat the crown prince. So when his family was killed he was shocked and thought that he was abandoned by the emperor.
Basically the guy who was delivering MC’s messages of to the emperor didn’t tell the emperor that they were from MC rather he prentended that it was himself who helped emperor to get the benefits, this way he betrayed the MC and got all the benefits of emperor who thought that Belthias Deron was the one who helped him.
Now MC was captured and khalid asked the emperor to give MC to him as a slave so he can take revenge. Khalid and emperor are deeply bonded as brothers so emperor granted him this request.
Now MC thinks he has to repay khalid for the hurt he caused him while abandoning him. That’s why he doesn’t commit suicide and becomes a slave willingly so that khalid can let go of his resentment and be completely happy.
Khalid badly abuses MC (Knox) physically and sexually.
He and emperor treats him like an object less than a human being. The sex scenes are horrible with slapping him to keep him awake, fucking him in turns for the whole night, not letting him rest, teaching him to suck their dick first thing in the morning as slave. It’s horrible letting him ride a wooden horse, use dildos on him and double penetrating him, keeping him tied to bed and fucking him for days even though he begs not to. Khalid even makes a bet with emperor to see if MC is loyal to him alone and knows who owns him if he doesn’t cum while someone other than Khalid fucks him. Emperor fucks him and MC cums so in anger khalid takes off his belt and hit his perineum and hole with it several times while asking MC to keep his hole open with his own fingers. It’s horrible through and through.
Once MC slaps the belthias guy who betrayed MC and Khalid first slaps him twice in front of that guy for punishment and then further locks MC in a dark room for a week. MC completely loses his mind from that time on and submits his self to slavery.
Khalid also whips him so bad and then denies him treatment and that is the last point where MC commits suicide because he thinks he has paid back everything because when khalid was abandoned in the past he was also whipped. It wasn’t MC who whipped him but the one whipping MC was khalid.
MC and Khalid both used to love each other in their childhood before the abandonment.
The dialogues, the thoughts they are so degrading for MC by both emperor and khalid that both are not redeemable at all.
The major issue I have with this novel is that the author’s focus is highly on the torture and extensive sex scenes with degradation. However you won’t get much intake on the feelings or thoughts.
When the abuse was happening, there would be one or two line to specify the feelings of either the MC or the ML.
I think it’s very lacking and makes you unable to connect with the characters because we can’t get a clear feeling of what they are feeling other than horrible abuse and resentment.
As comaprison, the Non zero sum highly focuses on the feelings of the MC so we can connect on a much more deeper level with his suffering. We even get the insight of ML and understand that he is psycho. Just a mental patient. We see how his though process works.
In this novel, Khalid and emperor are abusing MC so badly but if MC is sitting alone and gazing at space absent mindedly or is washing the floors of Khalid’s mansion then Khalid will act like he loves MC and cares so much about him and can’t bear to see him like that. It’s just crazily inconsistent.
Another inconsistency is the MC. He wanted khalid to vent out his resentment. He didn’t know khalid will abuse him like this but he was very strong. He was very able at swordsmanship. He didn’t commit suicide to let khalid blow his resentment and become happy.
After the first night where khalid shared MC with emperor, MC could commit suicide but he on the next day was helping khalid in handling state affairs. He even taught khalid how to dance. It is strange that he appears completely fine by the abuse so far and even cares for khalid? We don’t get much insight to his mental health by hsi thoughts during this time so it’s very hard to connect if he has resentment building for khalid due to all this abuse or not.
Why I’m saying it is inconsistent is because of what happens AFTER MC thinks he has paid back everything and commits suicide.
So basically after MC is whipped, he is in his room where he was unconcious. He wakes up goes out the estate, sees the carriage of belthias and rode it. He talks to belthias and mentions how he betrayed him etc etc. All of his converstaion is being listened by Khalid and emperor through a magic stone that is given to him by khalid and which is like a communication device controlled by Khalid. That’s how they come to know that MC is innocent. MC kills belthias and goes to his home. There he jumps off a window and commits suicide.
Now for the inconsistencies. Khalid hates MC because he abandoned him in childhood. But suddenly he is devastated and acts like he can’t live without MC when MC commits suicide and it comes to light that he was innocent. Khalid’s resentment wasn’t because MC helped crown prince, it was because of abandonment. So even if it comes to light that MC is innocent, how he turned 180 degree?
Then the argue that it’s because MC committed suicide but khalid has been abusing him cruelly for days and days. He whipped him so bad and denied treatment suddenly he is remorseful just because MC commits suicide? I would believe it if I could get an ounce of feeling that he loves MC? He calls MC whore, slut, prostitue. Treats him like one. That is definitely not love. It doesn’t give any feeling of love even to us readers!
Anyhow they somehow save MC. During the process khalid comes to know that MC didn’t abandoned him willingly. It was an act to save him. He even searched for him and was whipped by his mother for this reason so more regret.
Now MC wakes up and hates khalid and asks him to kill him off. He asks khalid why he did all those things to him. Now again I don’t understand that the author clearly explained to us that MC let khalid do those things because he wanted to let him release his resentment. Now MC is shown to suffer from abuse but while it was happening we were not shown much of his thought process until very late into the story where he starts to self harm to even breathe. Even during that time, we are not given any inkling of his resentment to khalid.
Understandably he wants to die but no one lets him. Emperor is also remorseful. He decides to restore his status back to noble from slave but MC is shamed and notorious in whole kingdom now because he had became a slave and was a plaything of khalid and emperor.
MC takes his revenge on both khalid and emperor. Emperor is betrayed and killed by khalid. MC becomes the next emperor and khalid now becomes his dog.
My pet peeve with this novel is that there is no one to blame for all the misery except one when the emperor rapes MC again in jealousy even after knowing that he is innocent.
Khalid’s whole world was MC and he was also treated as a slave and very badly treated at MC’s home. But at the end MC also abandoned him (according to him because he doesn’t know MC was pretending neither anyone told him). He was whipped and thrown out and he saw MC smiling at another servant after throwing him out. Just imagine for a child to rely on someone during his whole misery and that someone also cruelly and ruthlessly throw him out and abandon him. It must have been horrible. The scar must have run deep and turned so bad that it twisted him to such an ugly person later on. I understand him because I have felt the feeling and fear of being left behind. It is very very scary and hurtful.
The emperor treats MC badly for very stupid reason but more than that he treats him badly because he thinks he was supporting crown prince. So if you understand the world of emperor and its throne fights, you can know that it’s a very cruel world. Where you have to be ruthless to win. After he knows that MC is innocent he restores his status and is remoresful of the abuse MC suffered.
Lastly MC, after suffering from khalid and emperor, he also now bore resentment and hate. He kills innocent people for his revenge. He even takes relief in khalid’s suffering. He suffers from the after effects of abuse he faced at the hands of khalid and emperor. But khalid also suffered the pain from the abandonment of MC. He then took his revenge on MC. All his happy memories from MC turned painful ones because at the end he was abandoned so he must have thought those moments were just pasttimes for MC.
When I see it, who do I blame then? Khalid suffered and took revenge from MC. MC willingly offered himself to khalid to decrease his resentment and suffered. Then he also took his revenge on khalid.
It was a circle of abuse that never ended. Even if MC never abandoned him willingly, he never told khalid. He even himself understands that khalid must have suffered alot due to that so that’s why he wants to atone and make khalid happy. He could have committed suicide anytime. He could have fought anytime but he willingly suffered everything. Once he thought he paid back everything, he committed suicide.
But he was saved, he should have been allowed death atleast. But khalid and emperor didn’t let him die. After that he takes revenge on them. The abuse cycle starts again now. He feels happy to see khalid hurt and then treats him like a dog at the end of the novel. Kills innocent people for his revenge. He becomes cruel as well.
I really hated the end. There was no respite for anyone of them. Khalif wasn’t a villain. He was just taking his own revenge. MC wasn’t a villain and he is also taking his own revenge. Not one of them thought of moving forward. It’s horrible. I wouldn’t recommend anyone this novel. There is no closure.
So the ML is one of the most “dirty talk during sex type” of person who likes to say vulgar things. In the first chapter he seems like the cold type but the later chapters he is kinda chatty, funny and hypersexual. The first sexual thing he says to uke is to sit on his face and let him suck his hole LOL.
Okay seme will beat uke in the next chapters but that is the only time he will be treated that roughly by seme. He is working with the mindset of a general who is investigating a criminal so I totally understand how he gets rough.
Later he is sometimes verbally abusive like saying bad or hurtful things to uke and also during sex I don’t think if he is physically or sexually abusive to uke. They have a agreement but do remember it is kind of dubious consent because uke HAS to agree with his whims due to circumstances not because he WANTS to.
Basically the lieutenant that uke was working with to supply the drugs to castle people, he like uke and wants to take him as his concubine. So in order to do so, he fed uke experimental drugs to make him able to conceive a baby. Uke has no idea about it.
Seme wants to bust that lieutenant’s ass in a trial for drug scandal and harvest scandal (meaning experimenting on people) so for evidence that lieutenant kim did that he needs evidence of uke being pregnant.
Somehow it is decided by him that uke will be pregnant by his child in the next couple of chapters as the best strategy to avoid suspicion in a trial that he and his subordinates raped or abused uke into being pregnant. He decides to have a video testimony of uke who says he likes seme and wants to have his baby.
Now seme will see uke without all those tanning sprays and will be mind blown by his beauty LOL. The story basically doesn’t have any big antagonist. It is about the development of their relationship while seme navigates through collecting evidence and making uke pregnant.
Uke falls in love, gets pregnant, is told by the doctor Lieutenant Na that he is pregnant, freaks out and then seme lies to him and he didn’t know uke could be pregnant. Otherwise he would have used contraception. Seme kind of gets nervous seeing uke’s breakdown that’s why he decides to lie to uke so that uke won’t leave him.
Uke is unsure of having baby, seme tries in his own clumsy ways to take care of uke but he is still kind of not really conscious of his own feelings (our seme has low EQ. Kinda dumb in emotional feelings). Things happen, uke gets to know taht seme lied, that he is used as a piece of evidence, he feels betrayed and runs away.
Funny thing our seme uses the crazy psycho methods to catch him back. Well I like overly possessive semes so I really really liked his methods. (Yeah I’m unhinged :(….)
They will fight some more, things will happen, baby will come, some more regret and then happy ending.
I literally had to put down my phone to calm myself before finishing this chapter. No matter what, JJ is despicable.
The fuck written on the glasses of the guy in taejoo’s team when Taejoo stabbed the other gang leader (≧∀≦)
I know many people objected to the reincarnation of MC as a twink but if uou read the novel, you can see that it solely plays a comedic part in the story. From the volume two when Abel reincarnates, most of the comedic effect is through his weak body or extremely beautiful looks which are dangerous for the entire kingdom and rift between people’s families ╮(￣▽￣)╭
For our ML though he doesn’t care a bit about his looks. Before he knew he was abel, he used to think that others say that he is good looking but he feels no such thing. However his thoughts also clearly convey that looks don’t matter to him because he was in love with Abel not because of his looks but his kindness and character.
The story will get extremely funny in 2nd and third volume. Moreover the antics of Karas after he will know that Abel is the twink one are just (づ￣ ³￣)づ
Sooooooooooo guys we have been the biggest losers to think that a redemption arc will come our way. In the latest episode, Jichan has gone to mido and have been all pretty proactive, making out with him even offering to help him with his rut calling him by “Seo Mido”. He has given in to him. So just have your clown makeup ready because we are no more than a joke ╮(￣▽￣)╭
So for the next spoilers, Jichan knows that yellow shit is Mido now since the other gangsta dude handed him papers of proof containing data about Mido and yellow shit being the same person.
Now in the latest episode, yellow shit is apologizing to Jichan about what he did. He was angry to see Jichan living well without him so he made up revenge an excuse to bring jichan back to him. He says he won’t do anything now to Jichan if Jichan doesn’t want it.
Now sad thing is Jichan allows him to masturbate together and they do it right there. Given that Jichan is stimulated due to the constant release of pheromones of other gangsta Alpha but I’m so frustrated that it seems Jichan is going to mellow out to yellow shit just because he apologized. To be honest one panel of yellow shit crying in the previous episode of season 2 is not a good redemption arc. He first break jichan’s ankle and then had a break down himself when the beta guy helped Jichan to escape. Is that what the author going to give us for a redemption arc?
After all the suffering I want him groveling on his knees. Not some sorry words in a bathroom as if that is gonna make everything better. I usually get soft hearted early on when semes go through a redemption arc but this didn’t even gave me any satisfaction. I wanted jichan to atleast say that he hates him and he ruined everything. Anything to make yellow shit desperate!
Well let’s have some trust in author but I’m actually now afraid that we’re gonna get a half assed redemption arc. Author nim do something to make the top absolute miserable and cry and beg for forgiveness for what he has done. Make him regret. I don’t want his excuses. I want his SUFFERING!!!
（/TДT)/
You can see wooyeon getting obsessed with Inseob and soon you will see him running in the streets searching for inseob frantically and then crying as well (≧∀≦)
Since I have read the novel, I don’t understand how people defend the ML and blame MC. People should understand that trauma suffered for many years doesn’t just go away because someone acted nice to you. No, it just doesn’t work like that. MC suffered for many years. Not even days or months but YEARS. It is understandable that he runs away from ML because what if ML has treated him a bit better. Is he supposed to now blindly believe in ML? Even when he knows that ML is dangerous? When MC is just trying to gain a peaceful life? And still believe ML after watching the last clip of that video which ML showed him previously but the last part wasn’t shown? I seriously don’t get it. He ran away because he was scared and rightfully so.
Moreover how ML abused him later after finding him out, how can people defend him? He literally abuses MC terribly and treats him just like a prostitue but later after abusing and all that, ML says he doesn’t think of him as a prostitute? Uh, that’s fucked up. Actions speak louder than words. I don’t care how he sacrificed some things for MC, I just don’t feel his love for our MC. He needs therapy ╮(￣▽￣)╭