mary

he thinks this is his brothers boyfriend but is having sex anyways, the ml just doesn’t care at all lmao

Reading this was such a rollercoaster. I won’t lie and say it was perfect, but I enjoyed the drama. It was messy, I hated seeing sunghyeon treated badly by the MC, but I enjoyed it.

The MC is really indecisive and a pushover. He’ll stand up to strangers that insult him, but once he forms even the most superficial of connection with someone, he becomes passive. Rather than having any core values, he follows the commands/advice of whichever love interest is talking to him at the moment. It’s as if he lacks object permanence; he is only aware of his feelings for each person when they’re directly in front of him. However, I’m patient and understand how the MCs past caused these behavior patterns. I only started to get annoyed with him around chapter 100. (I was done w that snake bitch jaemin)

The main thing that left me unsatisfied was the ending. I’m happy sunghyeon was the end game since he was my favorite, but I hate the unstable state their relationship is left in. With less than twenty chapters left, Daon hadn’t cut off the other two and the author was STILL giving us flashbacks of their college days. The story was Sunghyeon being incredibly kind, but Daon completely abandoning him when the other two assholes showed up. Makes sense considering Daons past with them, but after 100 chapters I was tired of seeing Sunghyeon get hurt.

Rather than a satisfying resolution, the story ended at an uncertain point in Daon and Sunghyeons relationship. Even though they live together and have mutual affection, Daon is too insecure and anxious to be in a stable relationship. Due to the ten year abusive dynamic with Jaemin, it will take time for Daon to heal.

It’s possible the relationship was left in this precarious state on purpose. Maybe the message is that trauma and traumatic relationships can be difficult to move on from, and even in a supportive environment you may be haunted by the past. What matters is focusing on the present, little by little moving further away from the past. Irregardless, I wish the author wrote some side stories. Even a single epilogue that takes place after a time skip. Just some inclination that they develop a more stable relationship, some sign that Daon has healed.

However, the thing that disappointed me most was Sunghyeon being a fan of Daon’s writing was never brought up again. Daons writing was something he didn’t share with the other characters, it was something he kept to himself. Sunghyeon being a long time fan would have been a great way to strengthen their connection, and make it seem more like Daon actually cares about Sunghyeon as an individual. With how the story ended, it feels like Sunghyeon is simply a person to make Daon feel less lonely, not that Daon truly loves him. it doesn’t feel like Daon is anywhere close to letting go of Jaemin and Soohyun. Sunghyeon and Daon having a unique connection through daons writing would have lessened my doubts. At least then, I’d know Sunghyeon was able to meet an author he loved and felt connected to. Unfortunately, the author didn’t write that. Daon writing felt like an afterthought, sunghyeon being a fan forgotten in the web of drama.

I can’t help but feel like Sunghyeon would have been happier if they hadn’t met. I want Daon to be happy away from his abusers, but Sunghyeon also deserves to be loved and respected. He is a literal angel, and a little crush he had on his coworker brought him into a decade long disastrous love triangle.