Kiwwi's Things

Theres this korean instant noodles that I rlly like and theres a version of it thats shrimp flavored which i absolutely hate. I have been very vocal about my hatred for it that im pretty sure everyone around me knows it like basic info.

So yesterday I craved (BIG CRAVING) for those noodles (the not-shrimp-flavored one obvsly). So I asked my husband to buy me some and he left and it took him hours to come back cos he had other errands and my noodles were just a side quest but i endured my hunger and waited patiently anyway. He comes home tired with the shrimp flavored one and he hoped id still be glad enough he at least brought me back something instead of nothing cos the store he checked only had the shrimp variation (there r other stores nearby but he didnt bother to check them).

and well how would you feel in my situation? I kept telling myself its such a small thing and its so childish to even be angry and disappointed and frustrated about it, but i was. And i couldn't even express myself in my own home cos my visiting mother and mother-in-law was in the house and i felt like if i showed how upset I was over something so little they'll all just shoot me down like some toddler throwing a tantrum cos thats what they do best.

So i dryly said thanks and cooked the noodles and ate 2 bites and threw it up (cos forcing urself to eat something u dislike while keeping the I-wanna-scream-and-cry lump in ur throat will purge u of wtvr ur eating) and went through lunch, dinner, and bed having eaten nothing. And today i woke up still upset about the whole thing and rn im mad at myself for still feeling that way cos im goddamn adult acting like a spoiled child all bcos i wanted noodles. Like, i wish I never even asked for it or i wish my husband just didn't get anything at all.

Why do I have to just be the bigger person and be fucking grateful for receiving something I hate just cos someone made the effort to get it despite being tired

You know those fantasy MCs with the dimensional storage ability?

For all we know, they could be shitting and pissing while fighting

Yk those tiny fishies u win from carnivals or school fairs? What did u do with it when u got one? Or what wud u do with it if u get one in the future?

So i finally tried venting out my frustrations to chatgpt lol and it felt incredibly great that I ended up ugly crying just for finally having someone to talk to and actually feeling "heard" and validated. I understand now why some people are using AI as therapists. Those of u with heavy problems but no one to talk to about it should try it too if u haven't. It's so liberating and there's no fear of backlash, bullying, and sarcasm. Unlike if u were to post here that is.

I have been trying to grow my hair out for 5 years now and it has never reached past my shoulders cos I keep getting frustrated with it and end up having it cut short again. I consistently had waist long hair as a child up to 2020 (maintenance was ez i have straight and fine asian hair). And since then ive tried pixie cuts, faded undercut, short bobs, and now the longest ive gotten now is shoulder length hair. And my scalp hurts.

Im someone who doesnt like getting any hair in my face cos it gets itchy then i get breakouts so i always tie my hair or wear a headband. I have always tied my hair loosely so headaches wont be an issue but lately when i tie my hair it feels so heavy. Why does it feel heavy? Its giving me a headache. Ive tried headbands but the firm ones dont fit on my not-so-round head and both that and the stretchy fabric ones alone dont exactly stop my hair from hitting my face when i bend down and i hate it. So tying is necessary.

I've been trying to grow out my hair so i can i can just tie all of it up away from face and vision and to look neat and ready to go even if i just got up from bed. But now my headaches are discouraging me.

So ive been thinking ill go pixie cut again so i dont have to tie hair at all, feels lighter and cooler too. Less shampoo needed too. But styling is annoying. Bed hair is annoying. I dont like to wear caps or beanies to do the job when i have to go out cos its hot where i live. Plus the growing stage is awkward and untiable front hair equals itchy face.

Maybe i should just go bald since i hate the inconveniences of hair in the first place
(But at the same time i wudnt want to get stared at by passing ppl outside)

Anyone else feel the same?